Dixie currently feels:

Despairing

 

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Good things about today:

 

- We had a fire drill at break, and got 10 minutes extra because of it, hence, missing 10 minutes of Science.

 

- Science was a piss easy lesson.

 

- I got my results for my Science resit exam; an A, so I'm quite pleased.

 

- I got another bit of #1263 artwork finished in the library.

 

- I came home and played iSketch with Miraan, Adam, Ayshea and Stephen. It was fun, we had laughs.

 

- I talked to Adam for ages over MSN, sending each other really hilarious sound files.

 

- I laughed so much at a screenshot from our iSketch game, I almost crapped my pants. - Really, I was totally touching cloth. :)

 

[Though you may ask what's good about that one, I like to laugh, regardless of the consequences.]

 

 

Bad things about today:

 

- Results of my ICT exam, totally not happy. Two grades lower than I wanted.

 

- Thus, I have now given up on ICT.

 

- Thus, making only 3 out of 9 subjects that I still give a shit about.

 

- Coursework deadlines are indeed, stressing me out.

 

- I was tired throughout the whole day.

 

- I cried down my aisle after school, but Sammie comforted me.

 

- Claire is ignoring me. She seems really angry at me, and I don't know what I've done. I think she doesn't like me anymore.

 

- Emily isn't back... I haven't heard from her at all. No Mindsay comments, no emails, no anything...

 

...Where is my darling Emilpops......?

 

 

 Seasons' Sound 

 

Sometimes the strains of heaven

Cascade in droplets all around me,

Soothing and refreshing me,

And inspiring me onward.

 

Other times tunes whisper in a  swirl,

While wonder and fear collide,

And presumptions thunder deep within,

As I haltingly walk on.

 

Silence bounces back and forth,

As self-inspection churns

The smouldering embers

Of priorites and time.

 

 

Amid the stillness or  the noise,

The familiar  roar resounds,

Calling me, compelling me  

To embrace each seasons' sound.

 

 

Sights seen:
   Sparkling snow
A grouchy furry white face
 A glittering Christmas tree
 An old brick wall
   The loss of two vehicles
    




Flavors tasted:
Coffee and vanilla
Sweets
Crest toothpaste
Bitter dark chocolate (the best kind)
Mouthwash
Blueberry waffles

Thank you Sandi. This was a great exercise!

Ever wandered through a busy street and not hear a thing, but simple let the colors wash over you? And then the noise hits you, like a thousand ocean waves that beat against you; threatening to drown you with their intesnsity. And soon the colors and the sounds merge; reality is created then. But what if I could seperate them? Would the world make more sense? Would this crazy whirl-wind life around me be easier to understand?

 

Thats what I love about Junkanoo. Its a Bahamian thing, I guess. The colors merge together and the sound is all over the place, but thats what life is. What we think hardly ever matches with what we then do. The beautiful colors don't match with the ear-splitting sounds. Yet their differences complient each other in a way reality never seems to.

 

I am Lita. Gabrielita, as my abuelita called me when I was little. And I suppose in some senses I am still so little in this world. I am Lita.

 

Strange how school takes over our thoughts. Strange how at first we try, knowing that by the end we will have given up. I'll do my homework perfectly, in the evening, for the first few weeks. Then as the days becoming long and tedious and the work becomes a game of repetition, the boredom overwhelms me and homework ceases to happen in the evening. Instead it is hurried in the morning, right before class. On the bus or at break.

 

Sometimes I think thats my greatest fear. That life will imitate school. So wonderfully exotic and intoxicating at first, but quickly become a tedious chore that we no longer enjoy. And before long it had passed us by and we have missed too many sunrises that we can't make up. Will that happen to me? To you? To all those around us?

I wish to write and draw. To document what is around me, for that too will surely slip away if I wait too long. I want the colors to consume me and pour across my canvas. I want the sounds to echo in my mind and translate through my pen and spill across the immortal page. Perhaps I am not an artist or a writer. But whether God created this world or some other strange force, this world around us Was created by some brillant artist and a writer too. For He spilled so many secret tales into even the smallest flower bud and colored the world so vividly that should be stare too long we are blinded by the heavenly beauty. We stain the canvas with the smoke of factories and smudge the book's elegant writing with thoughtless words.

 

I will not be alive in 200 hundred years to witness what by then will be a covered world that hides the beauty till its forgotten. But I will be alive today, and today I can stand on a busy road as cars honk and swirve around me. As people hurry about and yell to each other. And for now, I can still see the beauty in the horizion no matter how tall a building tries to block it. And for today, I can give in to sleep knowing that this beauty, this mysterious life, truly exist. And so I intend to do so for as long as I can. I intend to continue looking for the vaguest hint of beauty even in a foggy day so that I might at least hope that life won't pass me by. That these colors won't fade until my body has already faded away.

 

Let your mind never be on a hiatus, on a break or pause. Let it never go on strike or wander away. For even if its just for a second, you could, you Will, miss something. And you'll never get that something back.

 

I am little in the world. A newborn babe in Earth's eyes. I am Gabrielita. Little Lita.