Some @ MindSay

  for the past few days, i have been going on a diet so that i can lose all my fat in my thighs, stomach, and a little bit on my chin, maybe a little possibility, i can lose a little bit of fat on my chest....girls you know what i mean....  But other than that, i have been gaining some pounds since i was sick for a month with a sore throat i couldn't talk for a week, and i ended up going to see a doctor for a bump in my neck that turned out to be an infection in my limp note(at first i was worried that it was a cyst....but my mom thought secondly that it was the mumps), so i have been on antibiotics for 10 days.  A week later i developed a rash on my right hand that bounced to my left, and i have been itchy and the rash was spread up to my elbows.  So it's back to the doctor, and it turned out to be a allergy reaction, or a viral infection, so i was yet again put on medication, this time: Steroids. Anyways back to my diet foods, For breakfast i had a apple, and a yogurt to help me get some energy, and i have been drinking water, and doing at least 50 sit ups, lunch i had wheat thins with cottage cheese, and for dinner, i had some of my mom's and my cousin's girlfriend's cooking when i went walking to their house.  And, i had another apple and yogurt and 50 more sit ups.  Maybe this coming week, i might go to the high school and walk around the track, go to the park, or ride my bike until i'm at least pretty tired, etc.  In two months, i'll be doing my first gig at a 4th of July cookout at my grandfather's house, and afterwords, i'm gonna see what happens next, i might never know.  If it works out for me, then i'll move to Full Time, and i'll be quitting my job watching kids, to pursuing into a DJ, and maybe going out of town for gigs or staying in town for some gigs, etc.  Anyways i got lots of stuff to do before the 4th of July, and i needed to see Juan about this, learning how to control the equipment, and once it's done i can get set up for the cookout on the 4th of July, and i can't wait for it!!  i g2g so until then peace

Let Montell sing it because "this is how we do it"!

 

 

I set and listen to the candidates that are struggling for the Democratic nomination and all I hear are empty platitudes about changing the country or leveling the playing field, attempting to institute socialism.

Socialism has been tried through history.  With a few, short lived successes it has been a miserable failure.  Even those places were the people wanted to be there the community eventually fails.  These communities were usually based on one or two personalities, when they died or left, the system could not continue.  You also will eventually have people leaving because they grow dissatisfied with how things are distributed.  A master craftsman gives up his superior work to the community and in return receives inferior goods.  Even the most dedicated of people will lose heart.

It is impossible to raise everyone up to the level of work that some are capable of, so you must bring them down to the level of the “average” person.  It is not proper to have some people better than others in a true socialistic society.  When you have the best and brightest being brought down for being better, the society will eventually lose its ability to continue existing.

There is nothing new that has been discovered in our age that makes this kind of society possible.  We are led to believe that the Democratic left has some secret formula that they are just waiting to implement the moment you vote them into the White House.  They do not have any real plans; all they have is wishful thinking and a faith that has nothing concrete to back it up.

You cannot have a utopian society.  It is impossible, the haves resent their work being taken and given to the have-nots and the have-nots are unappreciative of it because it was not their choice. 

 

 

Look at the housing projects that have been put up around the country.  Some were constructed reasonably well, some were badly designed and poorly constructed either way within a generation of their construction they had been damaged by the occupants and the civic authorities grew tired of constantly repairing them.  Eventually they degenerated to the point that the only thing left to do was tear them down, displacing large numbers of people and exacerbating an already bad situation.

Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton have nothing of substance to offer this country.  Their constant tinkering with socialism, hoping to stumble on a magic formula is nonsense.  It is irrational, to continue doing the same thing hoping for a different result.  This shows they have no real grasp of economics or people.

It is easy for them to make claims of changing society because they are isolated from the average person, surrounded by sycophants and special interest groups who are able to manipulate their time and exposure to differing opinions.  Step away from the photo opportunities and go out and talk to people on the other side of this and see how they feel having their hard work taken away to support a social engineering idea that has failed miserably these last twenty years.

I would like someone to explain to me how they will accomplish what no other country or organization has been unable to do since the advent of civilization.   How they will force people to live according to rules and ways of life these people do not believe in.  The Communists were unable to do this in Russia, they tried for over eighty years, they failed and they had absolute control over the people and society.

Regretfully they can’t tell you how.  They have no idea.

People need to be free to be.  The reality is that some will be poor and until they learn that education and hard work are the only way out of that poverty they will stay there.  If you believe that you are a victim of society then you will do nothing to help yourself and you will pass that on to the next generation to continue the cycle.

Love...
I have been faced with this topic repeatedly over the past few months, what is love to you? what do you think of love?

To be honest, im not quite sure, I know it exist and I know its something good, i know it's something I want to spread to others, but then again can you truly do that if you dont love yourself?

These lyrics from a Natalie Grant song keep coming back to me

It’s hard to stand
On shifting sand
It’s hard to shine
In the shadows of the night
You can’t be free
If you don’t reach for help
And you can’t love
If you don’t love yourself



can we possibly know what love really is if we can't accept it ourselves?
I'm learning to love myself, im learning to accept the love others offer me and i'm learning to accept the love of God...How truly amazing it is...

Love truly is a movement, it takes time. It takes courage and it takes strength but in the end you will be moved so much by it. I dont think you can truly know who you are without knowing what love is...

so i kind of rambled on there for awhile.

Today was an odd day, i had a few urges to cut and well ieven thougt of death once or twice, but dont worry they were just thoughts, i hardly ever make it through a day without having a thought or two of suicide, but they are nothing like they used to be, God has freed me from the visions of my suicide, the plans, the attempts.

Today I am free....and it feels so worth all the pain I have had to gone through and the pain I am going through now.

The reason I used to come on to mindsay was to read my friend"s blog.  I loved how she was able to pour out her feelings and just feel like this was home for her.  She would write her feels like it was  her diary, only difference it that people would comment on it !

I always comment to her about writing stuff that was so personal.  She would simply tell me that it gave her a way to write her feelings/thoughts and that is what mattered.  She has now totally inspired me to make this my "honesty" place.

I have been struggling lately with the fact that I am overweight.  If anyone knows what that is like you can simply relate.  You know the looks, stares, comments and the "your so pretty if only you could lose weight".

I have been yoyoing for years.  Just last year I was diagnosed with osteosarcomas.  It was then that I became depressed at the thought that I could lose my leg or legs and my life.  It was also the time I began to lose weight. 

I have been in the clear for about 3 months or so and yet again I am overweight!  It disgusts me that I could let myself go like that.  Then that makes me almost depressed!  I simply wanna be the girl who can wear the cute jeans or the tights shirts without having my stomach look like the biggest thing I have.  I wanna be noticed for my eyes or my smile.  Not because of my bulging oversized stomach!

I am 27..  It has been my dream to stay with my friend in TN and go to parameedic school and become a volunteer firefighter!  However,  I am not in the shapw right now to do that.  I seem to lack motivation just like Fairy.

does anyone have any suggestions?