Snickers @ MindSay

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Dixie currently feels:

 Content

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Blog #87

Together At Last...

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I'm awake at half 8.

I can't be arsed dealing with my radio alarm, so I'd set an alarm on my phone and got woken up by my ringtone instead.

Dad took me to college.

I didn't take my backpack - just my keys, my iPod, my phone, my memory stick and some money.

I feel so naked and vunlerable without my backpack. My back feels so FREEEEEEEE.

I sat about in the LRC waiting for Mary for fucking ages.

I got bored of sitting around staring at the river - so I went to the magazine shelf and read an issue of RHYTHM. Which in effect, is a drums/drummer/drumming magazine.

I was drawn to it by the mention of Joey Jordison on the front cover.

Mary appeared at 10.

In effect, we'd arranged for 10, but I'd thought it was 9, so I'd been sat around for fuck all.

Mary felt guilty about it though. Mwah ha.

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We booked some computers upstairs on the 2nd floor - the ones behind the bookshelves.

We hardly needed privacy - there was only about three people in the whole LRC.

I could have ran rampant and knocked over bookshelves with a baseball bat and got away with it.

(Given the chance, I would SO do that.)

Upon my admittance of continuing to maintain the standard of doing FUCK ALL - I had to change my pissing idea YET again.

So now I'm doing writing to inform - with NO element of entertain.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!

FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

What part of: "I CAN'T DO INFORM/PERSUADE/INSTRUCT" don't you get Mare-Mare?!!!

So, I said to her: "Why don't I write a leaflet about MY CONDITION?"

She thought I meant depression - I could tell by her face.

I said: "NOOO... NOT DEPRESSION... ASTHMA."

Her face then PROPER changed, lmao.

She said she was going to post me some leaflets.

I hoped she'd just put them through the letterbox, rather than knocking on the door.

(When I accquired them later - it wasn't just SOME leaflets. It was about FIFTEEN leaflets in a brown envelope. PROPER heavy.)

Even so, if I ever get this shitty leaflet done - it'll be shite.

I can't write reviews. I can't write leaflets. I can't write newspaper articles. I can't write instruction manuals. I can't write editorials. I can't write persuasive letters.

In effect I can't write ANYTHING currently - but all I CAN write (and by "CAN", I mean write it WELL) - are pieces to entertain.

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I walked back into town as soon as Mary was finished ragging my ear off.

I went to Home Bargains - Shelly was coming round when I came home, so I got us some bottles of Pepsi,  some packets of cheese & onion crisps, a Crunchie for her and a Snickers for me.

Then I returned to the BUS STATION.

Oh, the bus station. How I have missed it.

Lmao, in effect, I have.

There's only so many weeks in a row you can sit in a clear plastic box on a hard metal bench staring at emos in the park opposite, shitty adverts on your left and weird old people on your right.

And there's only so many weeks in a row you can sit and wait for FORTY minutes if you miss a bus.

Ah, the ol' 64. Or the 64A.

The bus drivers may be cunts and the busses are in shitty condition - but at least they come every 10 minutes.

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I got home and Shelly came shortly after.

Mam and I had arranged earlier that I was going for a haircut - so I dragged Shelly along with us.

I supposably had LAYERS put in.

I had layers in previously, but they've grown out.

I can't see any layers mate. Either because my hair is too heavy or because it's generally shitty - but if there's layers, I can't see them.

Oh, and I had my fringe straightened - AT LAST.

Now all I need are my roots sorting out. Then I'll be sexy.

Well, maybe not that far.

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When we returned - despite my mam wandering around downstairs - we turned randy as per usual.

We cuddled and kissed for a long time - then Shelly put her hands down my trousers.

They didn't stay on me for very long.

She sat on the edge of my bed and I knelt between her legs. She put her hands on my head and squeezed me tightly between her thighs so I couldn't escape.

I like being dominated - and she likes to dominate - so that works out rather nicely.

I also like the word domination. Dominate, Domination, Dominated, Dominating, Dominator - DOMINOES.

They're all good words. :D

But rofl - as this were - we were almost caught in this position.

When mam came in - the obvious signs were that the lights were off, because we'd been that interested in each other, we hadn't turned them on yet. Shelly was sat sheepishly on the end of my bed, her jeans ragged up to her waist proper quickly and her clothes rumpled.

Oh, and the most obvious? I was sat on the floor. Though, I'd tried to look like I was doing something - I was knelt at my PC - dragging random files around on my desktop. :D

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Mam went out to ASDA shortly after this - so we took advantage of the time alone together.

Shelly took off all my clothes and tied me to my bed by my wrists.

I was face-down in my pillows - so she gave me some rough anal play. I was almost screaming at parts. To the point where it sounded like I was actually in pain as I was enjoying it so much.

Afterwards, we were cuddling together, half-clothed - I was crying in happiness (Don't ask, it's something I've only recently started doing. Shelly calls it 'spontaneous happy crying') - and I finally got the courage to ask Shelly if we could become a couple.

I'd casually said to her on the phone last night "If I asked to go out with you, would you say yes?"

I knew she'd say yes - but I still had a large part inside me telling me she'd decline me.

I asked her three times - and on the third time, I was bawling into her shoulder.

She held me tightly in her arms, comforting me. She gets really confused when I cry in happiness. She looks upset, but happy at the same time.

So, now we're officially an item.

(I'm not thinking ahead to the future - but if we break up, I'd still like to be friends with her. She's always been a good friend to me, from the time I met her until now. I know, I know - we've only just gotten together, we shouldn't think about things like that. I'm going to enjoy the time we have together.)

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Mam came back from ASDA with Easter eggs and cans of deoderant, for some reason.

I think the deoderant was on offer. Impulse tempataion, it is.

She gave Shelly a Kit-Kat Chunky Easter egg and one of the cans of Impulse.

She looked proper confused - looking from one hand to the other - LMFAO.

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Before Shelly left - we did something I've always wanted to do with someone I really loved.

Take photos of us intimate together.

By that, I mean kissing.

I think they're pretty good photos.

Quite emotional, to say the least. :D

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Dixie currently feels:

 Neutral

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Blog #75

Funniest comment from a chav EVER... 

My original plan for my HOUR OF NOTHING before college started was to go to the LRC.

I'd either do some sketchbook work, or I'd update unfinished blogs in the ground floor computer suite.

But as per usual, the college is a cunt - there was a big fuck off notice on the door: "LRC OPEN FRIDAYS: 9:30."

Fucking NICE ONE, so I had to sit around for an hour for HALF AN HOUR in the LRC?

Fuck that mate.

So I retreated to the tables and sulked for a while - until Ashleigh and Danny came in.

I sat with them for a while, then we went up to 4th floor when it was the time.

I printed out some more contact sheets of the photos I'd taken on Wednesday.

We only have a week to finish our sketchbooks. Panicking a bit like.

Not as much as I'm panicking about English coursework though...

At least I'm almost finished my Media Studies. Damn, it fucking paid to be ahead of myself earlier in the year. :D

Saying that, I proper wasted today's lesson.

I spent the entire time unplugging Ash's mouse every time she went to the printer.

And when I wasn't doing that, I was plugging my mouse into the back of the Mac and moving the cursor every time she went to click on something. :)

Ash was not amused - but it was quite fun. Tee hee.

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We ventured into town afterwards - ate our lunch infront of PRICLESS SHOES.

The sign makes me piss.

Just the word SHOES written in white letters on a red background is hilarious. :)

It was really cold outside today - my arse went numb from the metal bench.

We returned to college, only to find that both B and D block Media Studies was cancelled.

On top of that - I'd gotten a voicemail message from Mary just after my phone had died saying B block English was cancelled too.

I could have went straight home, but we went into the alcove near the vending depot - on the tables you can NEVER get at. I waited with Ash for her taxi. Shelly nicked off her B block lesson and waited with us.

ROFL, there was some chavs from construction sat on the tables opposite us.

It was proper silent, then all we heard was one of them yell:

"OW, DROP YOUR SNICKERS AND I'LL GIVE YOU A BOOST."

Not only was it funny - it was even more funny seeing Ash's face at the mention of Snickers. :D

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Dixie currently feels:

   Depressed

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Blog #37

Thirteen of Fine...

9:00 - 22:00

For these thirteen hours, I was fine. It was what happened after the hour of 10 that got me depressed. 

I spent the day with Ian. I'd been looking forward to it for a few days.

Normally I don't get to spend much time with him because he's working or Sean takes it in his stride to come on over. He's not YOUR brother, Sean.

Though it fucking feels like they're blood related. Ian didn't take me to see Iron Maiden. Ian didn't take me to the WWE. Ian doesn't play football with me. Ian doesn't have me over at his house constantly.

We spent the day playing World Tour and GH3 - scraping together a few achievements as a duo.

My Expert skills caused much cash increase and someone to be impressed. There aren't many games that I can beat Ian at. There's a few, but he can beat me at more, usually.

He made us both double cheeseburgers for lunch - with edam cheese - *melts in lust*...

Then lmfao, he states: "Oh, there's a Snickers on top of the microwave for you."

Thinking back to the fucking mental dream, I had to try hard not to piss. :)

I'd never seen The Simpsons movie until today. Ian likes it more than I do - he's got all of the series boxsets on DVD. So we watched that and scoffed shitloads of bacon flavour Skips.

It's pretty good - nothing less than what I was expecting. :)

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Due to fucking boredom when I got home, I caved into desparation and created a new account on Neopets.

*Raises gun to head*

...Repeat after me Dixie...

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.

Either way, I've gotten a bronze trophy for Snow Wars and made about 10,000 neopoints playing my favourite games. I like the fact they've increased the amount of times you can send a score daily from 3 to 5.

I mainly played Meerca Chase, Destruct-O-Match, Extreme Potato Counter and Defender Trainer - my main favourites.

I've won a shitload of shitty snowballs from Snow Wars too.

I'm not sure on whether to donate them to greedy scroungers or sell them for peanuts.

I could do with some peanuts though. The Snickers was immensley enjoyable, but I couldn't get the image of Ashleigh out of my head - pmsl!

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Shelly rang me at about 8 - we talked for a while. She didn't upset me.

She never does - but that was just a comparison to a certain other phone call that did.

I was just playing another round of Snow Wars at about 10 when Adam rings me.

I knew he was at a party tonight - and I answered the phone to him being drunk.

He amused me at first, but when I heard how happy he was, how everyone else around him was enjoying themselves so much... Well,  just got the craving to start cutting myself.

I'll never be invited to anybody's house party. I don't have the confidence to get drunk with people.

I never fucking enjoy myself, I never fucking will.

I don't even have anybody else to enjoy myself with.

But fucking believe me - I'd rather have nobody than have Emily. (And I don't have NOBODY.)

Thanks to quick realisation shortly after a long conversation with Shelly at the start of the week - all has become clear to me.

I'm better off without her.

I can do without cunts in my life.

Cunts who continually go out of their way to upset me.

I noticed a trend with how often I cut myself. I'd noted it down for a few years on a word document.

After I met Emily, it tripled.

Now Emily's gone - thank fuck - it's decreased to less than once a fortnight again.

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Dixie currently feels:

 Neutral

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Blog #34

Expert fingers do you well!

Although the green sarcastic smiley says I'm neutral - I'm bordering on depressed.

That smiley really does look like a sarky little cunt. I can't actually find one that looks neutral.

I awoke after the funniest fucking dream EVER.

I often have weird dreams where Ashleigh does mental shit - but never as bad as last night's.

(I've had two dreams where I've killed her before - but comedy deaths, rather than cold blooded murder.)

We were all in college - the three of us, Shelly, Ash and myself - standing with a group of lads.

They were daring us to do mental shit. One of them dared me to stick a candle in my arsehole and light it.

...Oddly, I did it and seemed quite pleased with myself.

But then they turned to Ash - handed her a Snickers bar and dared her to stick it up her arse.

She didn't look amused - but she put her hand down the back of her trousers and did it - I watched the bulge of it sticking out slowly disappear as she fully inserted it.

Then they made her jump up and down and jog on the spot until she was really sweaty. By this point, the chocolate had melted inside of her - then they dared her to eat it.

So there she was, dripping in sweat, scraping chocolate from her backside and eating it.

I woke up and fucking pissed myself laughing.

I need to stop having such mental fucking dreams!

And the sick thing is; it's given me a craving for a Snickers. :D

I won't ever be able to look at Ash eating one the same way again. ROFL.

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I started my day by cleaning my teeth, tidying my room and thrashing away some Expert & Hard vocals on World Tour.

After I'd gotten dressed and brushed my hair - I decided to start on the drums career.

Dixie only went and got three 100%s in a row.

Easy shall not be a hard task for me.

Once I have mastered it - which doesn't look to be difficult at all - I shall move on to Medium gladly. :)

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Shelly turned up at half 12 - we played through a few songs on band quickplay - her on bass guitar and me on lead.

I picked some really stupid songs - ones I barely ever play, so I wasn't doing as well as I normally do.

LOL - 98% on Expert - terrible. :P

I then moved on to Wi-Fi - time to thrash the daily n00bs at guitar battle mode.

Shelly only seems too pleased to watch me on Wi-Fi - which is a bit weird. Not that I'm arsed like.

I'm just not the sort of person who can watch someone else play Guitar Hero.

I can watch Shelly and Ash on co-op mode - but only for around 5 songs, then I'll get a craving to play too.

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It became apparent after an hour or so that neither of us were as entertained by Guitar Hero as we normally are.

I was expecting this to happen of course...

We made out for a while on my bed - then I knew it was my time to repay her for what she did for me on Sunday.

The fact she was laid on top of me didn't quite fit with my initial plan - so I had to sort of re-arrange myself so I could take her top off.

I had a bit of fun fondling her breasts - squeezing them, licking them, sucking them - the like. She seemed to like this, so I moved on further down - undid her jeans and started to reward her.

Now yes, I was terrified at the aspect of giving pleasure to another - oddly, more so than I was accepting it.

My fingers are incredibly short - her little finger is the same length as my index finger - for a size comparison - but it seemed that they were working pretty well.

Either way - I made her come. I didn't think I'd done her justice; for you see, everything I do isn't good enough for anybody at all. ...Still, she insisted to me enough that I'd done better than most people do on their first time.

I'll have to take her word for it, I guess...

Hey - my fingers may be short, but just watch me thrash away some Expert guitar solos. Just watching my fingers moshing on the fret buttons will make you moist. :P

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Of course - I was satisfied with making her satisfied, but she wanted to have a go with me again.

I let her, of course. Lmfao, I be a bit of a whore sometimes. :P

So she felt me up, I took my clothes off - she started with my breasts then went down.

Wasn't bad. I will admit yes, better than Sunday.

She went a lot deeper, a lot harder - I enjoyed it a whole lot more.

She licked me a lot more too. This made me feel pretty honoured - I'm not comfortable with giving oral yet - and apparently she's only given oral to one other person besides me.

I wanted anal too though.

I'd even provided baby oil - but she was scared to. She asked me to show her how I did it to myself.

Now this was pretty embarrassing to say the least - but I did as she asked, had a little bit of fun with myself.

Just as she was about to take over for me - my mother only came in the front door.

DAMN IT WOMAN.

I had to put my clothes back on pretty quickly - rofl.

Though the panic did nothing to arouse me less. :P

Oh well, there's always next time. :P

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Once I'd cleaned myself up and gotten dressed again - I went and bought some chocolate - a Toffee Crisp for me (my 3rd favourite) and a Crunchie for Shelly (her favourites).

I got the usual bread and milk staples for mother too.

Came home - made up some egg mayo sarnies for myself and meatballs and chips for Shelly.

We watched The Simpsons together - always a great chill-out time is 6PM on channel 4. :)

After returning upstairs - we laid on my bed together, basking in the scent of the pillow mist I take great delight in spraying every several seconds.

I enjoy lavender more than I enjoy anal. Lmfao. Just imagine them both together. :D

But damn Shelly and her ways - she got me aroused YET AGAIN.

So fucking easily as well - so she ended up giving me some more.

Tee hee, the second time was so much better.

Despite the fact I had to try so hard not to make a great deal of noise, as my mam was downstairs - she went so hard with me and I almost reached a climax.

Most people only reach climax during masturbation though, so I'm not bothered. :)

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I've spent the rest of the night messing around on YouTube, playing with the trailer clips on Movie Maker and listening to my "NEW PLAYLIST".

It rules - it's a combo of 5, 4 and 3 star rated songs; the ones I'm currently listening to the most, ones I like on any occassion, my all-time favourites and some overlooked classics.

I very rarely skip a song when I listen to it. :D