Smashing Pumpkins @ MindSay

muscles and groans, the only thing we're really attracted to...
are more muscles and bones. - music.


wow, it's been such a long time since I've posted.
more stupid life stuff has been happening, although there has been a bunch of fun stuff in there, most of it's been annoying, boring, "grah! I wanna kill myself", junk. - overview.


I thought I had completely cleared you out of my mind, until Tuesday morning, when I woke up and I had a really bad memory of you, I mean, for once, this time I was actually thinking of how strange it truly was.. not just how funny. oh well, whatever! you've given up on me and I'm left her wasting my time on what "could have been", because I suck like that. - relationship status.

that being said, I've given up on relationships, I'm kind of out of the whole, 'looking for a girlfriend' part of my life... in fact, I've kind of given up on girls, for now at least, they just like to take your muscles and bones, just to leave you with blood, skin and groans... well, at least the females of my interest, I always have to pick the frickin' weird ones, the ones that make people say "wtf?".
I think the next one needs to be one of those crazy Animal Activists, that'd be fun!
but more serious... I think I'm screwed as far as that stuff goes - thoughts on relationships.


I've been messing around on the guitar, trying to figure some stuff up, as some people know, I don't have any clue how to play the guitar! awesome, right? well, maybe not, but! I'm learning some stuff and going to work it into my already, super confusing... music... stuff... hopefully it'll workout well. if not I'll just learn how to play guitar and not worry about sound effects. - stuff that doesn't dump, screw you over and make you feel like crap afterward!!!(or months later)

Tonight(if it were still Wednesday night in the PM, I saw Smashing Pumpkins LIVE! at the Tennessee Theatre, which was SUPER FREAKIN' AWESOME! I love the show, it was about 2&1/2 hours long, but it was so much fun, I don't really know what to say, besides, I loved it and it was phenomenal! - Fun Life stuff.
I'm also looking forward to school, it should be fun; mostly because I'm learning German & Japanese... - Yeah... School!


I also realized during a 'Choir Retreat', that almost every night as I lay down to go to sleep, 85% of the time falling asleep I think of really sad or depressing things, which by the way, isn't really helpful when trying to sleep. I've realized that I've done this ever since I was about 8, which, if nobody else does the same, it REALLY SUCKS. other than that, the Lake House was fun and we did a bunch of stuff in the lake the next day, now I just gotta work on these thoughts before sleep, I usually try to replace all of these bad thoughts, with all of the people that I've liked, but they've totally blown me off, ignored it, straight up said infront of me that they aren't interested or like somebody else...- unFun Life stuff.

so, overall, life is pretty top notch and I... enjoy some of it! some of it makes me hate myself.
I hope everybody is doing good and having a good last few weeks of Summer!

until next time,
yeah, I still suck,
Later!

Jason.

Believe that life can change
That you're not stuck in vain
Were not the same, were different tonight
Tonight, so bright...

Funny it is my thoughts during this time in history. I feel as if the little person inside my head just opened fire with a shotgun to see if anything would be hit...

And I'm well aware that for each and every topic that I have written about over the course of the past two weeks could be and entry unto itself with a full 250 words minimum devoted to my thoughts on the subject. And yet I find it extremely difficult to focus on one item at a time, so the shotgun approach is what works until the hyperactivity within my skull goes to a more normal pace...

Like there are some things in this life that I find ironic in a funny sort of way - at least they are funny to me. For instance for those who have read this Blog in the past and discovered that one way in which I acquire wealth is through machining metals. This is a highly skilled profession, and yet it is a dying skill in this area. I work the graveyard shift, and I am the second youngest person on this shift by a little over 6 months, which is no small feat for I am by no means young. So I know quite a few older Americans. I know a lot of Vietnam Vets, I also know a lot of people who were in the counterculture including one who was pictured (that was featured in Time or Life magazine, I forget which) upon the steps of the Lincoln Memorial during an anti-war protest and one who was one of the very few paid employees at Woodstock (the original one back in '69 and not one of those ones that tried and failed to relive a specific moment in time that will never happen again)...

Anyhoo, I know a lot of people who are older than myself and represent both sides of the argument in the late '60s and early '70s. What surprised me in an ironic kind of laughing to myself way was that I was talking to two of this multitude over the past few days about Earth Day and much to my dismay (I'm being sarcastic for that is what I do best) the Vietnam Vet cut down a pine tree on Earth Day and the person who didn't serve limbed a pine tree on the very same day. It just struck me as oddly ironic, but it was the first weekend of the year whence one had the opportunity to do any sort of yard work. And still I giggled inside...

Yep, I am in some serious need of a good night's sleep and a bit less activity during the day, but I am happy in my nearing burnout phase...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

Awesome!  Smashing Pumpkins' "Today" just came on, and I love this song.  I can't even remember the last time I heard it, it's been that long.  I love that something as simple as a song can just make your day. :)

I'm watching the movie Cast Away right now.  They're showing it on tv.  My favorite character is definitely Wilson, the volleyball that Tom Hanks draws a face on and talks to.  Good thing they created Wilson, or it would just be Tom Hanks talking to himself.  As much as I like Tom Hanks, that would've gotten old quickly.

There's no connection to myself
I'm your lover, I'm your zero
I'm the face in your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when you're really gonna need 'em...

Oh the glories of winter! A look out the door here at my place of employment, the world appears to be encased in a thick coating of glass - glass that is covering styrofoam...

The weirdest thing about today - if things could possibly get any weirder looking than they already appear - was the trip into work. The way the old automobile was parked led to a thick coating of ice on the driver side only that gave me difficulties seeing anything coming from the left side. After driving a bit and before I entered an area of heavy traffic, I tried to rectify the situation by winding down the window. I wound and wound until the handle stopped turning. And ya know what? I still couldn't see anything...

So I pulled over, and I thought to myself that this was a strange situation. So I had to touch the window to see if there was something wrong, then I quickly discovered that the window had indeed gone down complete and there was replaced by one of ice...

This investigation led to the ice window's collapse resulting in a portion of it falling, falling directly upon the worst possible location for it to fall being that it was heavy and cold...

This was not a fun moment in my life...

But I did survive the entire adventure and finally arrived at my place of employment so that I could type about my adventure...

And dry my pants...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight...

And so I have survived another day spinning through this universe on this here big ole blue marble. And now what?

Do I sit here at my primary place of employment writing about subjects that are of interest to me at this point on the time/space continuum? Shall I write of all the great mysteries that I find in the world that surrounds, and my ideas on all the great answers to the questions that the mysteries bring with them?

Do I journey forth into the vast wilderness looking for the Truth so that I will know without a doubt the Meaning of all? And once discovered shall I venture forth and proclaim the Truth to all who are willing to hear? And for the rest shall I open their minds so that they will receive the message?

Shall I sit and write of my experiences the work that will change the literary world forever with movie offers to follows? A work of such epic proportions that courses will be taught in all major colleges and universities so that the future youth will have a deep understanding of all that is me - the life and times of this particular individual and the world that he lived in?

Shall I contemplate the future of all things and plot a course for the future me and all those within my sphere of influence? Shall I take command of this ship and set sail for parts unknown?

Nope, I shall not do any of these things for it is time for another cup of coffee and when the coffee calls me, I hear and obey its commands for this is what must be done and I shall not disappoint the gods of work who have provided me with the sacred ambrosia...

This is my plan, and this I shall do....

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word...