Slob @ MindSay

If you're all wondering where I've been, and I am sure all of you give a rat's ass, I went to Lake Tahoe to the family cabin for some R&R. I layed around alot, read some books and newspapers, and I ate until my heart was content. I even gambled, and I won again. I never lose. I won $800.00 on Keno, and I won $4,200 on Blackjack. The ex and I drove up together, and we finally decided to have a go at it again. She layed down the law though. These are the rules I have to live by if "I want things to work out this time".

Rule #1. No farting in bed, or at the dinner table.....the ex said the last time I farted on her hard wood dining room chair that it sounded like a loud siren going off, and she "found splinters in the chair the next day".

Rule #2. No eating in bed as she doesn't like crumbs all over the sheets.

Rule #3. I must lose at least 40 pounds because she doesn't want me to be "unhealthy".......I think that's her kind way of saying, "You're a fucking Lardass, lose it, or lose me".......

Rule #4. No snoring during sleep.

Rule #5. No drinking beer every night of the week.

Okay, so if she can make rules, so can I, and here they are as follows.

My Rule #1. I can fart at the dinner table, in elevators, in the car, at the grocery store, and especially in bed where I like to fart the most. I also told her I should be allowed to hold her head under the covers after an especially smelly fart.

My Rule #2. I will eat wherever the hell I choose, and she will serve me when I am hungry.

My Rule # 3. I will lose 40 pounds if and when I choose to lose 40 pounds, not when someone tells me I should for "health reasons". I love to eat, and I will eat when I want, and as much as I want.

My Rule # 4. I told her I would try not to snore if she tried not to breathe.

My Rule # 5. Beer, give it up? No fucking way Jose!

So I guess the ex and I won't be getting back together afterall, unless she can live by my rules. 

Ok, so yesterday I had lunch with Sable and 2 women that she used to work with. I made friends with them when I started working near the Capitol. I was in her office all the time. Anyway, I haven't seen them in almost a year. It was great, they're so funny. They gave my shit about my tattoos, I knew they would! :) But they didn't even notice my nose ring which is good. We ate at Wolfgang Pucks and I had a pizza with HUGE pieces of garlic and pepperoni. It was so good! Anyway, I guess after I left, they told Sable that I "look so happy". Whatever that means...

I hate working. I need to marry rich and quit working all together. I would be perfectly happy being a "housewife". Cooking, cleaning, laundry,etc. That would be kind of nice. I have totally changed my mind about being really clean lately. When I lived in my parents house, I was a slob. My room was constantly trashed, my car was a disaster, I was just a slob. My house in Elk Grove wasn't any better. In fact, it was probably 100times worse. My roommate was a slob so it was easy for me to be a slob too. They house was a pig pen and looking back on how we lived, it was just plain disgusting. I had to clean for a whole day before I could even have anyone over, this included opening all the windows and dowsing every inch of the carpet and furniture in Febreeze. She had a dog and 2 cats so it had a tendency to get a little stinky. The sink was ALWAYS full of dished, there was moldy "stuff" in the fridge, the garage was full of beer cans, soda cans, and ton's of bottles. The place was plain gross.

Now, I like being clean. I clean my room almost every day. I do laundry all the time. I even vaccuum! I know - this sound kind of crazy - but yes, I vaccuum! I dust, I run the dishwasher, I take out the garbage, I clean out the fridge, I do all that stuff, and I don't mind doing it. I never thought I would be like that but I have to admit. It's nice to be able to have people over without being embarrassed about how you live. I would have to say the only good thing about being a slob was when people came over, it didn't matter if they spilled a drink or dropped some food, the place was a mess anyway! :)  

I can't wait til my birthday! Only have like 53 more days! I am so excited!

Today's Horoscope:

Try not to let yourself get sucked into participating in idle gossip, dear Sagittarius. There will be rumors flying today, and you would be best advised to take cover. While it is true that there is some truth to the gossip, the embellishments to the story have blown everything out of proportion. Feelings are likely to get hurt. If you do not want yours to be among them, then steer clear of the water cooler at work.