Sleep Deprivation @ MindSay 
sleep
Camping report
Last night was interesting. Some parts were great; others sucked.
Great part #1 I ate s’more (yeah!).
#2 The wind was minimal.
#3 I saw a lot of my closest friends. They are the kind of friends you don’t see all the time but matter the most.
Less great part #1 Random people showing up at our campsite, keeping me up till 3:30 AM.
#2 One of my overly dramatic acquaintances being, well, overly dramatic.
#3 Sleeping in my car was probably the worst option for my back.
The plus side is that all-in-all the positives out weighed the negatives and I had a great first camping trip for the summer. Now I need to roll up my sleeping bag, bike seven miles to lose the calories I ate last night, and take a shower.
I really want to just go back to bed…
Time For Some Changes
Well, there are definitely going to be some huge changes. Yesterday, my friend, Crystal, and I drove to downtown Atlanta and rented out a very nice apartment complex called the Darlington Apartments. (This was all due to the fact that my parents had kicked me out the night before - yadda yadda, I don't want to go into it.) I decided that I needed to just get my shit together and start a new life. The apartment complex has 24/7 security, a nice pool, fresh paint - the works. It's very nice and was relatively cheap, only $630 a month. We'll be moving in this Monday. Of course, I'm still unemployed, but Crystal has a nice new job. I feel very jealous. I just feel like such a child next to her. Hell, I don't even have my G.E.D. or driver's license yet! Thank God that I have a large sum of money in my savings account.
There is seriously something wrong with my brain. I can't remember anything! I can barely remember twenty minutes ago. I mean, I can remember the events, but I can't remember how I was feeling or what I was thinking. It's like my mind is a fucking blank slate! And it seems like if I try and put something on my "blank slate," it just tilts itself over a bit and lets the memories slide off and onto the ground. That's the best analogy that I can come up with. It's like my brain can no longer hold onto memories of my emotions. It's horrible! It makes me feel so lost in this world. If someone talked to me they'd say I was clinically depressed, but it's mostly that I don't know how I'm feeling. If I try and think of what I'm feeling at the moment, it's like the feeling slips away from me, like the feelings slip away from my brain before my brain can grab onto them. I don't even have a fucking sense of time anymore. I don't know what the hell day it is, my nights and days are all turned around.
Anyway, before I before, let me just tell you what happened in Atlanta yesterday. We went to Underground Atlanta. Three separate times we were bombarded by homeless people! It's fucking annoying! And you know, Crystal, got all emotional about it and felt sorry for them even though it is so obviously clear that they're bullshitting you. Some homeless guy tried to tell me that he was a 17 year, born HIV positive, who had come from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina had drowned his mother. Yeah... how fucking stupid. But Crystal felt bad and made me give him a couple dollars. Whatever. I don't care. It's just money, right? I would've given him money anyway - he didn't have to fucking lie about it. Idiot.
I haven't had sleep in like 2 days. I've done this sort of thing before. I mean, deliberate sleep deprivation. It gives me something to, I guess... "achieve." The last time I did this, I made it about 3 days. I was so damn sick. I literally ate a huge container full of instant coffee grounds and then swallowed it all down with a 12 pack of Mountain Dew. Sleep Deprivation and large amounts of caffeine do not mix. I know what I'm doing is stupid. I know that I'll probably get sick. I mean, fuck... I look like hell right now and it hasn't even been 5 days! But whatever... it'll give me something to do. I can document my fucking progress or something. Sleep deprivation makes me draw some fucked up shit. I have a huge notebook full of weird, crude drawings I did for those 3 days without sleep. My only complaints about doing this is that it's fucking boring and my eyes get sore. I can fight off sleep, but I can't fight off fucking boredom! Being bored drives me crazy. I think one reason that I'm doing this is because if I fall asleep, I won't wake up until almost 24 hours later. Since I stopped taking my medication for my ADD, I can't seem to wake up. My parents can't even wake me up! Hell, I don't remember them ever trying to wake me up! I just hate sleeping all day and then waking up at like 8pm and being bored the whole night and early morning. Obviously, I can't do this forever. The world record for staying awake is 11 days. Scientists suspect that more than 11 days without sleep would kill someone. I doubt I'll make it past 5 days. Am I rambling? I feel like I am. God, I look like shit.
Let me tell you one more thing! It's fucking funny!! I was super tired last night and was up at 3 am talking with my friend on Yahoo. I was thinking about death and this idea popped into my head. I was thinking about toxic shock syndrome which is a fatal "disease" you can get if you don't change your tampon too often. I mean, no one sits around with their daily planner and has a set scheduled time when they're going to change their stupid tampon. It's just not that big of a deal. You just change it when you feel like you need to. But you know, from such a small, insignificant event, you could fucking DIE! It blows my mind! Ok, so I said to my friend, "Dude! You can literally DIE from neglecting to pull a piece of cotton from your snatch!" Apparently, he didn't see what I was seeing. Obviously, what blew my mind away, didn't do anything for his. So, he came back with the most bad ass thing ever! It literally made my night! He said to me, "Wow... pretty exciting life, you've got there... thinking about tampons." LMAO! WTF? That totally makes me smile and laugh when I read that!
Anyway... I'll wrap this shit up. Bye!
There is seriously something wrong with my brain. I can't remember anything! I can barely remember twenty minutes ago. I mean, I can remember the events, but I can't remember how I was feeling or what I was thinking. It's like my mind is a fucking blank slate! And it seems like if I try and put something on my "blank slate," it just tilts itself over a bit and lets the memories slide off and onto the ground. That's the best analogy that I can come up with. It's like my brain can no longer hold onto memories of my emotions. It's horrible! It makes me feel so lost in this world. If someone talked to me they'd say I was clinically depressed, but it's mostly that I don't know how I'm feeling. If I try and think of what I'm feeling at the moment, it's like the feeling slips away from me, like the feelings slip away from my brain before my brain can grab onto them. I don't even have a fucking sense of time anymore. I don't know what the hell day it is, my nights and days are all turned around.
Anyway, before I before, let me just tell you what happened in Atlanta yesterday. We went to Underground Atlanta. Three separate times we were bombarded by homeless people! It's fucking annoying! And you know, Crystal, got all emotional about it and felt sorry for them even though it is so obviously clear that they're bullshitting you. Some homeless guy tried to tell me that he was a 17 year, born HIV positive, who had come from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina had drowned his mother. Yeah... how fucking stupid. But Crystal felt bad and made me give him a couple dollars. Whatever. I don't care. It's just money, right? I would've given him money anyway - he didn't have to fucking lie about it. Idiot.
I haven't had sleep in like 2 days. I've done this sort of thing before. I mean, deliberate sleep deprivation. It gives me something to, I guess... "achieve." The last time I did this, I made it about 3 days. I was so damn sick. I literally ate a huge container full of instant coffee grounds and then swallowed it all down with a 12 pack of Mountain Dew. Sleep Deprivation and large amounts of caffeine do not mix. I know what I'm doing is stupid. I know that I'll probably get sick. I mean, fuck... I look like hell right now and it hasn't even been 5 days! But whatever... it'll give me something to do. I can document my fucking progress or something. Sleep deprivation makes me draw some fucked up shit. I have a huge notebook full of weird, crude drawings I did for those 3 days without sleep. My only complaints about doing this is that it's fucking boring and my eyes get sore. I can fight off sleep, but I can't fight off fucking boredom! Being bored drives me crazy. I think one reason that I'm doing this is because if I fall asleep, I won't wake up until almost 24 hours later. Since I stopped taking my medication for my ADD, I can't seem to wake up. My parents can't even wake me up! Hell, I don't remember them ever trying to wake me up! I just hate sleeping all day and then waking up at like 8pm and being bored the whole night and early morning. Obviously, I can't do this forever. The world record for staying awake is 11 days. Scientists suspect that more than 11 days without sleep would kill someone. I doubt I'll make it past 5 days. Am I rambling? I feel like I am. God, I look like shit.
Let me tell you one more thing! It's fucking funny!! I was super tired last night and was up at 3 am talking with my friend on Yahoo. I was thinking about death and this idea popped into my head. I was thinking about toxic shock syndrome which is a fatal "disease" you can get if you don't change your tampon too often. I mean, no one sits around with their daily planner and has a set scheduled time when they're going to change their stupid tampon. It's just not that big of a deal. You just change it when you feel like you need to. But you know, from such a small, insignificant event, you could fucking DIE! It blows my mind! Ok, so I said to my friend, "Dude! You can literally DIE from neglecting to pull a piece of cotton from your snatch!" Apparently, he didn't see what I was seeing. Obviously, what blew my mind away, didn't do anything for his. So, he came back with the most bad ass thing ever! It literally made my night! He said to me, "Wow... pretty exciting life, you've got there... thinking about tampons." LMAO! WTF? That totally makes me smile and laugh when I read that!
Anyway... I'll wrap this shit up. Bye!
Happy Wednesday
So last night I don't think I made it to bed until sometime after midnight, and I didn't fall asleep until 1.40. This may not sound too bad, except for that I had to get up at 3.00 to drive jewfroart to Logan Airport in Boston... her flight was supposed to leave at 6.05. Actually, her flight did leave at 6.05 but she wasn't on it... even though we showed up at the counter at 5.20, they didn't have enough time to get her through the screening. For some reason, she always gets tagged for a special screening (I think it's the hair... plus, she was carrying two carryons and no checked luggage) and this time they had to wait ten minutes for a woman to come do her patdown. Apparently, it wasn't even an in-depth patdown... no flashlight, rubber gloves, and makeshift TSA-approved stirrups or anything that really neccessitated a woman for the screening. But rules are rules, apparently.
Just got off the phone with her. Because United made her miss her flight to DC and her subsequent connection to San Juan, they put her on I think Delta to JFK in New York and reserved her a seat on an American Airlines flight to San Juan. Of course, she got patted down and inspected again, and then when she got to American, they showed a reservation for her... but no ticket. Of course, the ticket that she had was for United, but they needed something that actually said that they were being paid for the flight. After an hour of the AA clerk trying to get word from United, she was finally told to go back to United... which is in another terminal separated by a commuter-type subway. She was almost at the United terminal at 12.20 and her flight leaves at 13.30. Wish her luck and I'll update.
Oh yeah, and in about ten minutes I have to drive to another airport... Providence... and pick up another friend who's flying back from a two-day 'not-a-date' with a friend in DC. Yes, I'm getting gas money (and coffee money) for these things, but I'm just about ready to curl up under my desk.
So... more later.
Sleep Deprivation - Part 4 - How to sleep
When I tell people about polyphasic sleeping (not that I yap about it all the time, but sometimes it comes up in conversation), the most common reaction I get is people shaking their head and saying, "I couldn't do that, because it takes more than a half hour for me to go to sleep."
If you are part of that group, allow me to give some suggestions. While this may seem like a problem to you now, if you skip your normal sleep cycle for a few days, I guarantee that you won't have any trouble falling asleep at the drop of a hat. In fact, after the first couple of days, your biggest issue is trying to stay awake.
Getting to sleep quickly is easy if you follow a few simple rules.
1) close your eyes. I know that sounds obvious, but I've spent many sleepless nights staring at the ceiling, and it really does help if you commit your body to sleep by refusing to open your eyes. No matter how awake you feel, if you close your eyes, it will help you get to sleep.
2) Stretch big. Lie down on your bed, get comfortable, then stretch every muscle in your body. Reach for all four corners of the room, really push your body to stretch as far as you can, hold that for a few seconds, then let go. Let the relief flood through you, and do your best to go with that feeling. It will feel like floating, and it helps if you imagine that you are floating.
3) Think about all your muscles. This is something I picked up from studying hypnosis as a child, but it still works if you want to go to sleep. Go from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and think about every muscle in between. Relax every one of them individually, and you will end up relaxing the whole body. For instance, there are a series of muscles in the scalp that are tied at the top of your ears. If you close your eyes, you can feel them tensed. So, think about them, picture those muscle groups, and deliberately relax them (this will feel like relaxing your ears). Also, there are dozens of muscles around the corners of the eyes, in the cheeks, around the mouth. As you picture them, relax them, and you'll feel your whole body relax. Then, work down to the neck, find that point in the shoulders where you're always tensing, and relax that. Work your way down the body.
4) Don't think about anything interesting. This is harder than it sounds. When I try to go to sleep, I have a tendancy to think about cool new ideas, or work through a problem that I'm having in my job. I run through movie quotes in my head, and picture new dialog for stories I've come up with. I don't do it deliberately, it's just what the brain does.
In order to combat that, I chant in my head. Seriously, I know how stupid it sounds, but in order to clear my head, I will actually think the word "Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmm" like some kind of yoga or something. I try to hold the note in my mind for as long as I can, until my brain gets the message that we're not trying to solve problems right now.
Anyway, in other news, I'm on day four I think (I started this latest course on Saturday 1/21/06 at 6:00 AM). I'm getting through the nights just fine, I feel a little bit tired all day and all night, but it's entirely manageable, and they tell me that will go away eventually as well.
Oddly, I have the greatest amount of trouble from my 6:00AM and 10:00AM naps. Once I lie down for them, I just can't seem to get up. I wake up extremely groggy, and have just enough energy to set the alarm for another 30 minutes. So, my 6 and 10 AM naps have run an hour apiece, rather than a half hour. I've got to find a way around that. This is one situation where caffeine has failed me. I'm thinking about making myself get up and walk around. In the past, when I've started walking around, I've been able to shake off the wobbling grogginess. Or maybe situps and pushups or something.
Other than that, though, I'm doing fine. I'm getting lots of work done, I have time for reading and playing video games again. It's just generally cool.
If you are part of that group, allow me to give some suggestions. While this may seem like a problem to you now, if you skip your normal sleep cycle for a few days, I guarantee that you won't have any trouble falling asleep at the drop of a hat. In fact, after the first couple of days, your biggest issue is trying to stay awake.
Getting to sleep quickly is easy if you follow a few simple rules.
1) close your eyes. I know that sounds obvious, but I've spent many sleepless nights staring at the ceiling, and it really does help if you commit your body to sleep by refusing to open your eyes. No matter how awake you feel, if you close your eyes, it will help you get to sleep.
2) Stretch big. Lie down on your bed, get comfortable, then stretch every muscle in your body. Reach for all four corners of the room, really push your body to stretch as far as you can, hold that for a few seconds, then let go. Let the relief flood through you, and do your best to go with that feeling. It will feel like floating, and it helps if you imagine that you are floating.
3) Think about all your muscles. This is something I picked up from studying hypnosis as a child, but it still works if you want to go to sleep. Go from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and think about every muscle in between. Relax every one of them individually, and you will end up relaxing the whole body. For instance, there are a series of muscles in the scalp that are tied at the top of your ears. If you close your eyes, you can feel them tensed. So, think about them, picture those muscle groups, and deliberately relax them (this will feel like relaxing your ears). Also, there are dozens of muscles around the corners of the eyes, in the cheeks, around the mouth. As you picture them, relax them, and you'll feel your whole body relax. Then, work down to the neck, find that point in the shoulders where you're always tensing, and relax that. Work your way down the body.
4) Don't think about anything interesting. This is harder than it sounds. When I try to go to sleep, I have a tendancy to think about cool new ideas, or work through a problem that I'm having in my job. I run through movie quotes in my head, and picture new dialog for stories I've come up with. I don't do it deliberately, it's just what the brain does.
In order to combat that, I chant in my head. Seriously, I know how stupid it sounds, but in order to clear my head, I will actually think the word "Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmm" like some kind of yoga or something. I try to hold the note in my mind for as long as I can, until my brain gets the message that we're not trying to solve problems right now.
Anyway, in other news, I'm on day four I think (I started this latest course on Saturday 1/21/06 at 6:00 AM). I'm getting through the nights just fine, I feel a little bit tired all day and all night, but it's entirely manageable, and they tell me that will go away eventually as well.
Oddly, I have the greatest amount of trouble from my 6:00AM and 10:00AM naps. Once I lie down for them, I just can't seem to get up. I wake up extremely groggy, and have just enough energy to set the alarm for another 30 minutes. So, my 6 and 10 AM naps have run an hour apiece, rather than a half hour. I've got to find a way around that. This is one situation where caffeine has failed me. I'm thinking about making myself get up and walk around. In the past, when I've started walking around, I've been able to shake off the wobbling grogginess. Or maybe situps and pushups or something.
Other than that, though, I'm doing fine. I'm getting lots of work done, I have time for reading and playing video games again. It's just generally cool.
Sleep deprivation as a way of life
Okay, so I was reading about something called Polyphasic sleep. Basically, it's just a way to train your body so that when you lie down for sleep, you go instantly into REM sleep, and you can get by on far less overall sleep.
It works like this: six times a day, you take a nap. You nap for 30 minutes, then go on about your day. For me, I take naps at 2, 6, and 10 (both AM and PM). That means, I've got 3.5 hours of waking time in between 30 minute naps. It also means that I will be living on 3 hours of sleep per evening.
The practical upshot of this is that, if it works correctly, your body will adjust itself to the short-nap cycle, and it will drop into REM sleep a lot faster. The other cool thing is that, you can live your life with a 20-hour day.
I'm on day two now. In the past 48 hours, I think I've had around 6.5 hours of sleep. I can't speak for how this will feel in the long term - or even how it will feel next week. But I can tell you that I'm awake, lucid, and I've been able to work for far longer than I had ever thought possible before. It's really pretty cool.
There is one odd thing, though. I'm starting to lose track of time. I mean, I know what time of day it is (because I have to get my naps), but the days all start to blend together when you don't have a big sleep cycle to separate the days. I know I went to the gym recently, but did I do it yesterday, or this morning? I honestly don't remember.
Anyway, I'll keep you guys updated on this, in case I start going slowly insane.
It works like this: six times a day, you take a nap. You nap for 30 minutes, then go on about your day. For me, I take naps at 2, 6, and 10 (both AM and PM). That means, I've got 3.5 hours of waking time in between 30 minute naps. It also means that I will be living on 3 hours of sleep per evening.
The practical upshot of this is that, if it works correctly, your body will adjust itself to the short-nap cycle, and it will drop into REM sleep a lot faster. The other cool thing is that, you can live your life with a 20-hour day.
I'm on day two now. In the past 48 hours, I think I've had around 6.5 hours of sleep. I can't speak for how this will feel in the long term - or even how it will feel next week. But I can tell you that I'm awake, lucid, and I've been able to work for far longer than I had ever thought possible before. It's really pretty cool.
There is one odd thing, though. I'm starting to lose track of time. I mean, I know what time of day it is (because I have to get my naps), but the days all start to blend together when you don't have a big sleep cycle to separate the days. I know I went to the gym recently, but did I do it yesterday, or this morning? I honestly don't remember.
Anyway, I'll keep you guys updated on this, in case I start going slowly insane.
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