Sisters @ MindSay

I was sitting at the kitchen counter, happily eating a bowl of rice, when my sister called down to me from her upstairs bedroom. "Phirefly, did you give me money?"
I briefly considered the financial paradox between the two of us^_[1], but offered only, "No?"
"'Cause there's a twenty on my pillow...and I didn't wish for it." The last was delivered in a puzzledly whimsical tone.
Busy with my noms, I was fairly unconcerned. "Probably from Mom. Ask her about it."
She came down the stairs to report, "I haven't lost any teeth, either." She's grinning - both of us are rather significantly of age and proud of it.
After a moment's contemplation, I swallowed my rice and pointed out, "Y'know, the most we ever got for a tooth was maybe a dollar when we were little. Pretty sure it was just a quarter. For twenty, you must have lost something a lot bigger - have you misplaced an ulna recently?"
My sister chortled, "The ulna fairy?" We enjoyed this a moment. "That's gotta be more interesting than the rib fairy.^[2]"
"Yeah. If you lose a rib, you just get a wife."


_{[1]Save for a brief period when she was eighteen, it's been a long-standing phenomenon between the two of us that I'm the sister with the drive to work, who hates being unemployed, and manages more world-responsibilities, and she's busy with music and doesn't have time for a job - but she's the one who always has more money.}
^{[2 I may have mixed up my family legends, but I believe the rib fairy is a cousin of Ursula Vernon's "ham fairy," derived from Phirefly's preteen point of pride about being able to finish a full rack of ribs, and a deep and abiding love for barbecue sauce.}

Rogue's one of the people who reminds me of what matters to me when I'm not thinking about it.

The other night, I was on the phone with him, and I did something without really thinking about it at all. My sister and I were driving together, he'd done a bit of a reckless job passing me, and that spirit of competition got into me. He turned off to his road a few minutes later, but I always want to prove that I can do things just as well as the guys can.

What happened was that I took a 90-degree turn at 55 on a gravel road. I don't drive any kind of performance vehicle, either - my car is a family sedan. Didi was completely elated - I managed a full 180 (actually, more like 270), but I seriously freaked Rogue out.

Admittedly, I'd expected to get quite a bit of slide out of that one, but not nearly that much. This is usually the kind of thing that makes any of the guys freak. By standards of driving experience, I'm still a kid learning the limits. By standards of how I should be acting, I'm a legal adult, the oldest (role-model is a position I've found thrust upon me, and I wish I were better at living up to it).

I'm still kicking myself, because I had Didi along with me. I'm aware that if someone else had done something like that and my little sister had gotten hurt, I would have a very hard time forgiving them, and probably do something rather rash and stupid in reaction long before forgiveness came. If that's how I feel about someone else taking care of my sister, it's remarkably hypocritical of me not to be taking care of her when she's with me.

Interestingly, it's occurred to me that it's also, in some way, hypocritical of me not to take care of myself. I think both of my sisters care for me in the same fashion - for that matter, Rogue's made it clear that he does the same. If I care for them, I should be concerned with protecting their sister/friend, or at least making sure that she doesn't get killed. This is kind of a new concept to me - it's been explained before, but there are words you understand with your head that don't quite make it into the deeper part of you, because they haven't been translated into your own thought-language.

I'm not actually this gloomy about myself. But no one really knows about this place yet, so it's like a place where I'm free to write without caring what anyone's reaction is. I can be not just open or honest here, but open and honest. This is what I think, what prompts me to write something down.

Whoa. Rogue is really upset. This didn't just dissipate. He's still upset with me.

It's a fact that I like to try to elicit worry out of the guys, or used to. Most girls have some variation on this - about as common is trying to make the guy jealous. We want to know that we matter, but the guys don't make that as clear as they think they do (I've asked). So, we try to elicit some reaction to indicate that we do.

Somehow, the guys who make no secret of their devotion to us...really just annoy us. Perhaps it's their methods.

Really, I begin to pity guys for having to deal with us.

But I've made a commitment to trying NOT to do that anymore. No more making the guys jealous. No more making the guys worry when everything is just fine. There's no point to it.

So, when I freak out Rogue without even trying to, mere days after coming to this conclusion...it weighs on my mind rather a lot.

I leave tomorrow for Germany, i'm still not totally packed =/
I'm going on the trip with my mom and baby sister. I say baby as if shes a small infant. But shes 15.

As some of you already know, I'm going to see my sister. Her husband is in the military and their stationed their currently.
She should have already had her second child, but is now past her due date. I love my sister. Even tho shes quite a bit older then me i've always felt very close to her. She's never talked to me like i was a "child" even when i was. I always felt listened to. I'm so thankful i dont have one of those really annoying bitchy sisters growing up, that always wanted you to leave their room and stay away from their friends. Sure their were times when i got in her space and she wasnt happy, but i mean thats going to happen with siblings.

So i wont be on here for 2 weeks. I'll miss you guys.
Write me while i'm away :D
♥!

You know what? I'm sick of them telling me what to do and what not to do.

 

Like the past few weeks. I've been forced to dance. I don't like dancing at all. Full-stop. And when I really do my best to impress them, they start to criticize and hurts. It hurts like hell.

 

The most irritating thing is that they don't even follow by their own rules that they give to us. Talk about being lazy, they just get mad when we take a break. Is it because they're 16? And they go ask mum for more money and all.

 

Never mind. I hope they change.

 

Keeping my fingers crossed,

Sky