Single Life @ MindSay

....get excited!!!! :)
Sweet little M and I have decided to start blogging again lol, even though we're probably way too freaking old for it. But hey, we figure that we forget so much about what goes on in our lives over time that we might as well write it all down and remember it! :)
Hmm, let's see....what's new in my life? I am newly single, and absolutely loving it! Let me just say, having been in some sort of relationship or other since I was seventeen (SEVEN YEARS!), being single again is simply glorious!
Other than that, work is fabulous. I am loving my job more and more every single day, although sometimes I wish I had more free time and wasn't always so flippin exhausted! Missing my girlfriends, can't wait to see my Margie when I head down to Atlanta next month. That's all for now, but keep checking for updates!!

HEY EVERYONE .. I AM JUST NEW TO THIS .. BUT I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD WRITE THIS CUZ I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TELL THIS TO. SO YEA .. I HAVE JUST COME OUT .. I AM BI ... AND SINGLE ... BUT RUMORS ARE GOING AROUND MY SCHOOL SAYING THAT ME AND MY BEST FRIEND ARE TOGETHER.... BUT THAT NEEDS TO FUCKING STOP ... AND MY LIFE ISNT GOOD AT ALL .. I LIVE WITH MY SISTER AND MOM ... AND NOBODY TO TALK TO ... I JUST WANT TO HAVE SOMEONE TO HOLD .. AND TO TALK TO WHEN I AM LONLY ... I ONCE WROTE SOMETHING DEEP .. IT WENT LIKE THIS

 

 I GO DOWN TO MY BASEMENT

 I PULL MY KNEES UP TO MY CHEST

AND I LET MY TEARS OUT .

I CRY FOR ALL THE THINGS BAD IN MY LIFE

I CRY FOR THE BITS OF HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE

I CRY FOR ALL THE PAIN IN MY LIFE

I CRY FOR NOT HAVING ANYONE TO LOVE

I CRY FOR MYSELF.. IN THE LIFE THAT I LIVE ..

I JUST CRY

NOBODY SAVES ME FROM MY SORROW .. I JUST SIT THERE

I AM LONLY ... NO SOUNDS .. NOTHING

NOBODY TO LOVE .. TO HOLD ME .. FOR ME TO HOLD

I AM SAD

I CRY

ME

 

 

SO YEA  .. THAT WAS DEEP .. FOR ME ANYWAY.. I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS ..

 

WELL I AM GOING TO TRY AND KEEP THIS UP .

IT FEELS GOOD VENTING .. I HOPE PEOPLE READ THIS 

eh life is life i suppose.

I seem to attract the wrong type of guy. ive had 2 boyfriends in my life, and both turned out the same. LAzy asses who dont give a shit about ANYTHING ( barely even me!). Both ive had to end myself, and both react in uhh not so fantastic ways. first one ended ok, he was mad for like 2 days and got over and we became friends. The secound one reacted...by the next day getting a new girlfriend. A girl who was once my friend untill i got tired of the knives she kept stickin in my back, ironic eh? So right now, screw love im happy bein single xD

 In my latest picture, im actually smiling (omfg)! i aint to shabby if i say so myself

 ~LAtest music craze: KATANOIA PWNS!!!! along with DEATH..they rock too :D!!!!

and this upcoming friday im turning 15! taking 3 friend to The Simpsons Movie, it will be fun fun. =)

PEople give me good metal bands. im bored and have nothing better too dooooooo

Listening to: Shu- Coccoon

 

I have been 18 for a whole day and I just can't believe how great it feels! I have been partying for the past 24 hours in non-stop mode and I feel like passing out any second now. Tonight we are going to be celebrating once again!!

 

I have this weird  feeling in my stomach.. i don't know if it's just my hangover speaking... or if I'm actually getting this nostalgic flashback of something I have experienced before but I think I'm in love again.I know- it's so fast and irradical- but what started out as a fling over easter weekend developed into something much deeper and now my world can't stop spinning. I've never had a friendship with someone so upredictable and funny in my life!It's based on the randomnest conversations ever!

 

Maybe single life isn't all that it's cut out to be.. I think I have entered a new realm of understanding on this aspect- and if this does turn into a relationship I won't mind at all.

 

I'm off to bed now! Recooperating before tonights party starts again..

 

 

I've been thinking a lot which why I haven't really posted anything recently. Besides, my life as been one bad Alanis Morrisette song lately anyways, not as interesting as usual. Just repetitative.

 

So, I've been given the same unsolicited advice recently: "You'll find him when you stop looking..."

Uh no shit! Kinda know that already.... I wasn't looking for anyone when I met the two loves of my life thus far. Nor am I looking for anyone right now...okay that's a lie. I mean seriously, who isn't subconscienously looking for someone that might get them a little bit? You'd be lying if you said not me and you're single. LoL

So, after the Buckeye fiasco, I've decided it's not that deep. I mean, yeah it would be nice to meet someone that's on my level, but I know I'm not at least in AZ. So, I refuse to settle for the inbred ex-Meth users and boardline sexual deviants that I meet. Although, alot of them have been non-ex-Meth users and dead sexy. More than likely I'll end up a single parent by choice....the ultimate last resort.

 

As I said, I've been think about my life since I've moved here since I'm trying like hell to leave. I can't figure out if I grew as an adult out here or if I just got bittter LoL. But then again I was pretty jaded when I moved here. Go figure. I think I just take less shit than I used to and I'm more sarcastic. And I am me.  I don't apologize for being the Bitch that I am anymore. I do what I want to do without any remorse. And I've been telling people all year, uh didn't you get the email last December? I don't those game anymore.

 

My friends think I've been dating like mad over the last couple of years because I'm looking for someone. Naw.... can you say for Entertainment purposes? LoL Well, no for 2004 , it took a minute to get over Idiotboy. However, this year it's like whateverthefuck.

You have to understand is I meet a lot of guys who want a fuck toy. Where do I meet them? The Internet and why you ask? Because Men here do not hit on cute Blk chicks in AZ on the street or in clubs, supermarkets, car washes, gas stations etc like normal people. Hell, I've tried to hit on cute guys on the street here and at clubs here, they're clueless and useless. So unfortunately, the way this city is set up....no matter what you're looking for it's online. Seriously, I just found out that people in AZ are dating off of craigslist. It's fucking sad but it is what it is. So, I fill my time going out with hot but fucked up on the insided individuals. Should make for a great book one day. I rambled all of that to say ....

I really do think this shit we call life is predestined. I think it's done in a way where there are only so many choices per situtation and only so many alternate endings but essentially you end up the same person and at the same place in life no matter what. From time to time I get homesick and I think about my old friends and an old boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder what would my life would have been like if I had've stayed. I can not even imagine it.