Sickness @ MindSay

well, again I haven't written in awhile...
After I last wrote, we were getting ready to go see my mom in Jacksonville,NC where she is in a nursing home...That morning we got up to a flooded basement...so, we had to stay,, called insurance, and plumber...Both came out that day and next day...with the insurance check we got we made an extra house payment..God works in mysterious ways! now we are only one month behind...but they continue to not want to help us..just this week we were again denied for the loan mod...they told us as long as we were behind and in the hole each month we would never qualify!! What??makes no sense...we were told that was why people like us could qualify for it..job loss, behind on payments,etc...That's what Obama said!!  its so frustrating!! Our second mortgage co. gave us a loan mod in 2 days!!! and we were behind with them too!! what's up with that??  who do you contact to find out if your mortgage co is jerking you around??/ they have to report to someone do they not?? sigh----
Good news is I got a job yesterday...Its part time like I wanted, no nights and no weekends..and only about 3-4 hrs a day, but every bit helps..I'm on Emergency unemployment now and my understanding is that that runs out in Oct... so we are still fighting to save our house as it stands now... oh and our first mortgage told us we needed to pare our bills down since we are in the hole every month..ok, well, we went to a credit manager and He told us there was no where to cut back!! we are paying only what we have to right now-utilities,insurance,gas,food,stuff like that that you cant pare back.. other good news, my husband  and my daughter got some help to be able to go to Doctor and get meds now...Ours is no cost to go to Doctor and daughter has to pay $5 each visit.Husband is diabetic, so he got his meds for free and my daughter is on a couple of meds that are free now too..that is a big help there..and our past doctor bills were covered and paid also which was almost at $1000.00.....now just owe the dentist $500.00...dont know when that will get paid...as no extra money at all. And here in NC taxes went up!! are they trying to kill us??? Our property taxes we owe this year are almost $2000.00!!!!! and sales taxes went up too... and now Duke Energy is wanting to raise its cost??? great...people are struggling..what do they want?our blood??? Christmas this year will be bleak..I just basically want my family together.. still trying to figure that out..with property taxes due right in Jan. that kills us..Christmas isnt about getting anyway..its about Christ and his birth.. we love each other and have fun as a family..that's what matters..The Black Friday list has already come out...those that have $ to spend-have at it...we don't.... yesterday in the mail we get 3 different letters from the county ..we owe $5 per cat we now have ..taxes on our animals!! I thought we came to America to flee Taxes on everything !! and for Religious freedom!!  good grief... tax this, raise this, what next???
have I said enough??? No wonder I was depressed earlier this week...
I was going to leave for the beach today with 3 good friends. they were going to take care of me so I could go.yesterday evening we get a call from one of them, my really good friend(I call her my Sis!) and her Dad was in ICU.. She had to call 911 earlier as he fell twice...so weak.... he had been sick all week but thought he was getting better... he was so dehydrated that they had to use a force bag to get the fluids in him. he took 4 bags I think..anyway, the rest of us told her we were not leaving her behind to go on to the beach..She wanted us to go on..can you believe that??She is so unselfish..I told her to shut up!! we were staying to be with her and the beach would still be there whenever...She couldn't help it that her dad got so ill...they weren't even sure he'd pull through last night! and she wanted us to go on.. No way!!my husband and I went over to hospital after she called and stayed. we took her to get something to eat. she went to be with her mom last night. her mom is diabetic and confined to the house..She has to be carried several times a week to receive dialysis. And she needs constant care..my friend is an only child so everything falls on her. She is a wife, and mother to two teens herself and works.. talk about having a full plate.. she does..
anyway I talked to her about 9 this morning and her dad stablizied during the night. they want to move him into a room out of ICU and regulate his meds. he lost so much weight...Will find out more later this afternoon..

my daughter started College in late August and she has adjusted well. Its our local community college, but she is doing great!! She has already aced a couple of tests! next fall she will transfer to UNCC. She has a new "Boy friend" lol says she doesn't want to be involved with anyone right now and they are just friends. I like him he is very nice.
Son has new girlfriend this year at Appalachian. he loves his apartment and having his own room!
I'm glad they are both settling in well.
well gotta run for now..maybe I will post again before another month rolls by! or two!

I started school again last week. It felt like forever since I had been in a classroom, so it was actually nice to be back. I decided yesterday that I am going to enter a contest to have a piece of my writing published in a magazine. Cool, huh?

 

Anyways, health failing all around me. Literally. Good thing the government doesn't yet run our health care or the ones I love would be waiting for the critical care they need to stay alive.

 

My grandfather on my mom's side has pnuemonia again...her mom is sick with bronchitis, her brother has terminal cancer and is dying.

 

My dad's dad has more fluid around his brain and has been taken off of his blood thinners again that are necessary for the health of his 86 yr old heart.

 

My husband's grandfather in Chicago is having diabetes complications and might have to have a leg amputated. He is on oxygen, can't really breathe without it and is having open heart surgery tomorrow.

 

Whew...Got it off my chest.

 

My good friend is still struggling with a narcotics addiction, my marriage is pretty rocky... And that just about sums it all up for me right now.

 

We are supposed to go to St Louis this month for our anniversary and we are genuinly BROKE...I mean, literally no money.

 

If we have to fly to Chicago to see hubby's grandfather, I am not sure what we are going to do.

 

Life is hard. I have been filled with tears every morning for the past several days. I have to hold on to the only source of hope that I have, Jesus. He says not to give up, to put all my worries and cares upon him. Pray, Pray pray and keep on believing. It is all I have.

 

I have my son, he is amazing and a true gift from God. I worry about the future. Pray, pray pray is all I can do.

 

Cocktails anyone?

                 E walks in today and says, “Guess what… D is in the hospital”.  I was wondering when he came in what  he would say, depending on whether or not Nichole called Shawna or not.  Apparently, that’s a yes.  A few minutes later, Nichole called to tell me that she’d spoken to Shawna so we’d have a heads-up that E might be effected by the news.  She called last night, E was already asleep, so Shawna said she’d tell him in the AM.  He was very okay with it.

                While we were playing Yahtzee for warm-up before his MCAS test(when A issued the phrase above), E and Parker were talking about the situation, and E said, “I talked to him last night” and Parker started to engage him in that.  UNTRUE.  E hasn’t really lied to us since September, when he wrote that AMAZING story about going to the Yankees/Red Sox game and mom was like ‘uh, his father and I are divorced, we don’t go on vacation together anymore’ and he said, ‘well, I saw it on TV!’, but he definitely lied today.  Very interesting; I wonder if he misses D so much he’s trying to emulate him.

                Rest of day = not memorable.  E was SO MUCH better for his test; got stuff wrong, but I realized it was stuff we never taught him, so that’s more MY fault than his.  What he knew he really knew.  That makes me happy.  Lunch I ate at a table with E, A, and Lloyd, Cy, Austin, Chester and Michelle and Cori… very strange.  Sample conversation: Lloyd:  Do you have a boyfriend?  Me:  No Lloyd:  Well, get one!  Me:  Where?  Lloyd:  Go cruising at the mall!!!!  ..........Absolutely hilarious.  He then pitched his brother for me.  His brother is apparently 16.  Very sweet of them to try, but…not lookin’ for jail time.

                At recess, Kiarah, Emilly, Tori and Olivia (and later, Bri) were sitting around, talking about dreams they had.  Ki said she had a dream about me … married to Parker … and we had 2 kids… and the 2 kids were E&D  (sharing a body), and A&Doug (his cousin).  Wow.  What an interesting life that would be.  Not necessarily a GOOD interesting.    Whatev.  The afternoon was spent me in reading group, them watching a movie (HP3), and then Claudia felt so sick she left at around 2.  I went to drop work of with Larry for JW and LF-M, but he said they did hard work all afternoon and needed a break, so I let it happen.  Larry says, “The sweatshirt is the ONLY thing bright about her”.  ouch.  Parker apparently missed Claudia’s departure.  That was kinda funny.  We’ll se what tomorrow brings.

R.I.P. “DOT”, the beautifulest fish in the front pond.  You were always my favorite.

My wife became ill with pneumonia. I was afraid for her life. Docters didn't know the cause. She spent five days away from home in the hospital. I began to think about our life together and what it would be like if I lost her.

There ia a post in my archives concerning that time.

 

I hold her very dear.

I want to be to her as Christ is to the church. 

 

I must say; it's going to be hard to quit smoking weed for a while.

Lately, whenever I smoke, my eyes roll into my head & I faint.

 

Don't worry; I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday.

But I'm scared, what if there's something wrong with me??

What if it's fatal?

 

Anyways, I'm stuck at home by myself.

Jesse is up at the mountain working; I neeeed a new job; ASAP.

I have about $20 to my name right now, how sad is that?

I rarely ever have money lately.

 

Earlier today I was thinking; I DON"T WANT TO GROW UP.

But i need to right?