Sick To Stomach @ MindSay

I hate being sick, I have been feeling like crap all week and i tthink its getting worse.

I cant sleep and I cant stand to watch tv b/c i dont know where the remote is and I dont want to get up each time a show comes on I dont like.

I am going to try to eat some luch but I dont know if I can stomach it....

THIS SUCKS!

I hope everyone's weekend is going better than mine....

P.S. I went to see Ghost Rider yesterday.....It was good,I liked it......(Even though after the movies I felt sick again.  I went b/c Mike was having a really bad day and so was Michelle, so I sucked it up and went.  It was worth it....)

Most of the time I love my job but days like today absolutely drain me.  I assisted with an autopsy on a (stillborn) full term infant. We don't get many of these but when we do I literally get sick to my stomach.  In truth any type of autopsy gets me thinking about the deceased: "What were their interests, were they happy, how are their loved ones coping, did they accomplish the things they dreamed of?" Alot of my colleagues are "desensitized" but it's hard for me not to humanize them.  Of my job duties, assisting with autopsies is my least favorite.  I remember my first one.  It was like an out of body experience yet comical at the same time because I was standing on a stool since I'm so short.  Lots of people look at it & say "It's the circle of life" and I know that nobody on this Earth lives forever but nonetheless it still saddens me.  I guess I need to have a thicker skin & not be so sensitive.  If nothing it reminds me to try not to sweat the small stuff & live life to the fullest because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.  Sometimes it's easier said than done, at least for me it is.       

i am so sick to my stomach right now. i keep on seeing dalton with that girl and it just makes me ill. i havent ever had that effect from a guy before but i do now and i am wondering what that means. i just cant stand that fact that he is an asshole and i love him. he was cussing me out over the computer sunday night and he was like i hate you bailea. and that just killed me. i have gotten over most of the nightmares but still it hurts me. i know that he is making a mistake but if he ever decides to come back to me then i have to tell him that he cant have my love anymore because of what he did. i gave him chance after chance but he refused them all. i have the feeling that something is going to happen to his relationship like he will grow tired of her or something and expect me to be there waiting for him like i will take him back after all the crap he pulled and after all the lies he told. i am just so sick.

on the other news... i am a state finalist in the jr. teen texas compitition! i am trying out for one of the leading roles in the new play Chicago ERR at my school. i am also trying out for cheerleader for next year! yall wish me luck with it all.

well i enjoyed a restless night of sleeping. falling in and out of sleep, with an upset stomach, then i started to throw up at around 6:55am. so i'm home from school for the day. but it was not at all fun, and my stomach's still a little queezy...

at 12:00 noon, today i have an doctor's apointment. i'll probably be on again, when my mom leaves for work (i think it's about 2ish) so i'll see ya then.

Peace Out,

 The Jester

Listening to...Nothing