Sick And Tired @ MindSay

You ever just get sick and tired of being sick and tired? Tired of being looked over, rolled on, walked on, walked over, beat up, taken for granted, and taken advantage of??? I am in that mood RIGHT NOW... My brain is on the overload for the things that people do.

I am:

a) dying my hair again.

b) watching "He's Just Not That Into You" because "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" won't play for some pathetic reason.

c) doing laundry.

d) beginning my hunt for a job and a studio in the greater Sacramento area. I'm so tired of living here. I'm so sick of the only things to eat in the house being frozen, leftover crap, or canned food. I'm sick to death of working my piece of crap job for zero respect and minimum compensation. And I'm sure as hell sick of there being nothing to do but get into partying, heavy drugs, or church.

e) All of the above.

Well Grandpa, who's a terminal cancer patient, fell two nights ago when he was up in the middle of the night going to the bathroom. Grandma couldn't get him up by herself, so she called Melissa and Dan (Melissa is their daughter, Dan is her husband ((aka my aunt and uncle)). And now Grandpa's in the hospital. My mom, being in healthcare, decided we should just put him in a nursing home. He's beyond Assissted Living.

 

My Grandma agreed. She is tired. Not just physically, but mentally. I don't think she can just sit here and have to watch him every single day. She can't go anywhere. So I think, she's been wanting him to go to the nursing home for a while, she just didn't want to be the one to make that decision. And now that my mom finally said something, she's relieved.

 

Ya know, I used to pray that he'd be okay, and live for a long time yet. I guess I couldn't stand the thought of not having him around, being I never had another grandpa growing up. Truth is, Grandpa was expected to die a year ago already. Why he's still alive, beats the hell out of us. But honestly now, I almost just wish he would go. I know that he's sick and tired of always feeling...well, sick and tired. And I know Grandma is too. He's always in a lot of pain and he's nauseated (did I spell that right?) every day. I would rather see him just go, than to have to see him go through this every day.

 

So I do believe, it's time.

So, I totally fell asleep today out of boredom.
My hours are completely screwed up. Most night I go to sleep between 1am and 8am..
And if by chance I get to sleep before midnight, I am awake by 6am, and exhausted again by noon.
I am tired of being so bored all the time.I never have anything to do except think.. ALL FRICKEN DAY!
Another thing.. 6 out of 7 days a week, I get a massive headache. Pills don't seem to do any good anymore. I'm tired of that too..

I'm just plain sick and tired lately.

Every day Chuck puts in, 9-10 hours at his job.. I feel like it is putting a real cramp on our relationship.  I brought it up once, and I ended up feeling like a douche.

He is working so hard because he wants to save to get married, and to buy a car and a house..

BAH!

It is brutal outside today.  I do not so much mind the cold, or the snow or rain or any other weather discomfort that most people who live in the northeast bitch about.  Yeah, the same people that know it is coming and can goddamn move if they hate it so much as opposed to complaining about things they can't control.  However, this wind today is ridiculous.  It is making it feel way colder than it really is, and all this sand and salt from the winter roads is blowing all over the place and getting in my eyes whenever I get out of my truck.  I almost lost my hat as well.  Screw you wind, I'm sick and tired to be sick and tired.  30 miles per hour.  if you're gonna blow, blow hard or don't blow at all.  Come back when you can top 70 or more, or else just go home.  I wonder where all this sand and salt goes; do they just sweep it into the sewers.  I should look into this.  I wonder if they are screwing up the salinity of these salted areas.  Have they dont long term pH testing on the environment?  Probably have.  Someone (Tim) will probably scold me on my ignorance of this subject.  It is what it is.