Showers @ MindSay

This song was before my time, but my older sister Julie used to suffer from it.  Boys would fall on their knees to her singing, "Julie, Julie, Julie, do you love me?"  I had to look it up because it was going through my head, which is what always happens the day after I talk to her.

Anyway, we're trying to figure out whether we're all going to her daughters' (yes, plural) showers:  one is bridal and one is baby. It should be fun, seeing all the family, especially for Emma, who knows Nelson's side of the family better than she knows mine.  But that's another story.

Tossin' and turnin', and freezin' and burnin'
And cryin' all through the night, yeah yeah

Julie, Julie, Julie do ya love me?
Julie, Julie, Julie do ya care?
Julie, Julie are you thinking of me?
Julie, Julie will you will you still be there?

The bride asked for something practical.  I decided to be very practical (as she is getting married in hurricane season here in SW Florida) and start her hurricane-preparedness  kit with a brand-new, first-class first aid kit (in a waterproof case).

So, to all who go to these things, what are some favorite gifts you tend to give at wedding showers?  Do you always go where the bride and groom are registered and buy from a list? Do you have a classic favorite? (One couple I know always made sure to include garden hoses in their wedding gifts, another couple always included Christmas gift wrap.)

What would be a favorite gift to receive for such an event?

Hello everyone!!

I am not the author of this, but it was so funny I almost fell off the couch laughing. I instantly wanted to share it with all of you...

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.






How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your as * .

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

F--t and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you!


Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

Evidently, Yale University has a bit of a problem with its students having sex in the showers.  One of the professors has had to step in and ask the students to refrain from the behavior:

"Several times since the start of the spring term some Hounies have come across a couple having the time of their lives in a shower stall," the e-mail stated, referring to the nickname for college residents. "Last night, the shower flooded and the bathroom could not be used for over 90 minutes. To the as yet unidentified couple, this may be pleasurable and exciting for you, but it is a violation of community standards. Please stop."

Right now I'm staring out the window and dreaming of taking a long, hot shower. I love showers. I love the hot water rivulets finding new pathways down my body. I love the clean tiles and the echoes of off-key humming that bounce from them. I love the smell of my Philosophy Coconut Milk shower gel as it permeates the warm steam around me. I love my shower head.

All this shower talk reminds me of the absolute best shower I ever took in my life. Yes, there is an actual shower I can look back upon and think, "Yes, that was the very best shower of my life."

But anyway... We won't go there...

My grandpa just told me a silly story. Since I'm lazy, I'll just summarize it. My grandpa grew up at the end of the Great Depression in Kentucky. It was difficult to scrape up food, even on a farm. I know a lot of times my grandpa and his siblings went without shoes in the winter... Anyway... They lived next to a crazy old drunk man. This man really was crazy... One fall, when chopping firewood, he spotted a flock of magnificent geese (at least four dozen by his estimation) flying closer and closer. Poor man, I can imagine how he felt! Free food!!!! He hurried as fast as his arthritis would permit and quickly located his double-barrel shotgun and a fist-full of bullets. He arrived in the front yard just in time. He suavely loaded his weapon and took aim just as the flock was passing over... Later in the day he told my great-grandpa about the birds. My great-grandpa figured that he would of at least brought down 2 or 3, but it was wishful thinking... "No," the old man said regretfully, "but I managed to round up a bushel basket of geese feet."

It's silly, but hey!! I laughed!!