Showers @ MindSay

Hello everyone!!

I am not the author of this, but it was so funny I almost fell off the couch laughing. I instantly wanted to share it with all of you...

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.






How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your as * .

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

F--t and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you!


Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

Evidently, Yale University has a bit of a problem with its students having sex in the showers.  One of the professors has had to step in and ask the students to refrain from the behavior:

"Several times since the start of the spring term some Hounies have come across a couple having the time of their lives in a shower stall," the e-mail stated, referring to the nickname for college residents. "Last night, the shower flooded and the bathroom could not be used for over 90 minutes. To the as yet unidentified couple, this may be pleasurable and exciting for you, but it is a violation of community standards. Please stop."

Right now I'm staring out the window and dreaming of taking a long, hot shower. I love showers. I love the hot water rivulets finding new pathways down my body. I love the clean tiles and the echoes of off-key humming that bounce from them. I love the smell of my Philosophy Coconut Milk shower gel as it permeates the warm steam around me. I love my shower head.

All this shower talk reminds me of the absolute best shower I ever took in my life. Yes, there is an actual shower I can look back upon and think, "Yes, that was the very best shower of my life."

But anyway... We won't go there...

My grandpa just told me a silly story. Since I'm lazy, I'll just summarize it. My grandpa grew up at the end of the Great Depression in Kentucky. It was difficult to scrape up food, even on a farm. I know a lot of times my grandpa and his siblings went without shoes in the winter... Anyway... They lived next to a crazy old drunk man. This man really was crazy... One fall, when chopping firewood, he spotted a flock of magnificent geese (at least four dozen by his estimation) flying closer and closer. Poor man, I can imagine how he felt! Free food!!!! He hurried as fast as his arthritis would permit and quickly located his double-barrel shotgun and a fist-full of bullets. He arrived in the front yard just in time. He suavely loaded his weapon and took aim just as the flock was passing over... Later in the day he told my great-grandpa about the birds. My great-grandpa figured that he would of at least brought down 2 or 3, but it was wishful thinking... "No," the old man said regretfully, "but I managed to round up a bushel basket of geese feet."

It's silly, but hey!! I laughed!!

How 'bout a nice little survey about showering habits?
Yay!

In The Shower
BASICS
Shower: Day or night?:	Either one, pref. during the day.
Soap: Liquid or bar?:	Liquid - I just bought some called "cocoa and shea butter" smells soo good.
Shampoo & Conditioner: 2-in-1 or seperate?:	Ew, yuck, seperate.
Brush your teeth in the shower: Yes or no?:	No, I'd try but I keep my toothbrush in the bathroom upstairs
Shaving: Standing or sitting?:	Kind of standing - I usually prop my leg up on the wall.
Singing: In your head or out loud?:	Out loud!
Washcloth: Yes or no?:	No - I use one of those bath scrunchy-poofy thingies.
Shower Entrance: Curtain or sliding door?:	I have a curtain, but I wouldn't mind a sliding door thing.
Shower Layout: Just a shower or bath/shower combo?:	Just a shower, I always fall in those bath/shower combo things.
HAVE YOU EVER...
...fallen asleep while showering?:	Nope
...taken a call while you were showering?:	No, I talked to my cousin once on speaker phone while she was showering. :P
...showered in your swimsuit?:	At the beach, at the pool, on vacation after the beach... So, yeah.
...showered with a member of the same sex?:	Yep, when I was little. My cousin and I used to call her shower a "mama mia shower" because we could say it really loud while we were in there. Like our uncles, and Mario. :P
...showered with a member of the opposite sex?:	Yep, again, when I was little. Probably only once or twice.
...showered with a sibling?:	Again, when I was little.
...showered with a pet?:	Err, no.
DO YOU...
...share a bathroom with someone?:	Yes
...have one of those dettachable "massage" shower heads?:	No
...sing in the shower?:	Yes
...listen to the radio in the shower?:	Yes, I have a shower radio.
...wear a shower cap?:	No
...wash behind your ears?:	I guess I never really thought about it before.
YOUR THOUGHTS
Describe your shower in 3 words.:	Small, cluttered (I'm a total product junkie), er... white?
Now describe it using three words that all start with the same first letter:	Ugh, too hard.
Three words using the same last letter.:	What the heck?
If you could change your shower in some way, what would you do?:	I'd make it bigger.
What would make shower time a better time for you?:	Salon products, everlasting hot water
What celebrity would you like to shower with?:	Uh, no one.
What celebrity would you NOT like to shower with?:	I don't know... Ellen Degeneres?
If you could watch a movie while you showered, what would you watch?:	I don't know, anything. That'd be nice...
If you could read a book while you showered, what would you read?:	Pride and Prejudice. 8)
If you could design your own rubber duckie, what would it look like?:	It'd be hot pink, with teal spots and a black beak.
What's one thing you absolutely can't shower without?:	My conditioner
What's the oddest thing that's ever happened to you during your showertime?:	Uhh... I fell. A spider fell from the ceiling.
What would be the color/design/pattern on your ultimate shower curtain?:	Some type of neat turquoise and brown flower design.
If you could paint your shower any color, which color(s) would you choose?:	Uh, I don't know
Anything else you'd like to share shower-wise?:	I always use up the hot water.
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