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Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

 

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Blog #102

FAFF FAFF FAFF

 

I lost a bet with my mam yesterday.

We agreed on this - if I could find a pair of shorts I liked, and that fit me - I'd wear them to college today.

In effect, she did find me some. Khaki green cargo shorts with massive pockets.

So yeah, I went to college in shorts.

 

And since my jacket looks BEYOND weird when accompanied by shorts - I just wore my Anarchy T-shirt.

Oh, and my green Converse. Green Converse look so sexy with white socks and khaki shorts.

 

 

When the college bus was pulling into the clock tower car park - there was two infront of us - so three all piled up. Ash's taxi couldn't pull into the car park, so he had to go drop her off at the other entrance.

I was much amused.

 

I said this to her when she came up behind me.

She spent about 5 minutes smiling at me, upon realising I was wearing shorts.

(Don't even ask about the "Hey Man, Nice SHORTS" joke.)

 

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In English Language, we were doing the basic wodge of texts again.

Analyising them, mainly just feature-spotting.

 

One of them was a Captain Pugwash comic - and Mary read it out in a Scottish accent.

PISS LIKE...

 

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After we'd came back from town - we'd been sat on the green metal benches for AGES because it was warm outside - we went into the LRC.

Of course, this was to "do sketchbook work", but I couldn't be arsed.

I was mainly drawing random shit on my folder and sharing Lisa with Ashleigh.

Ash loves Vortex - this shitty game that came with my iPod.

It's similar to Crack-Up on the Atari, but in a circle, rather than straight.

So I let Ash play that and we listened to my NEW PLAYLIST.

I told Ash about my mam's suggestion for Saturday.

Shelly started to get upset.

And I don't just mean upset like she normally does.

I could understand fully about how she felt left out - but when she turned around and started saying STUPID things like Ash and I hated her and how she doesn't want to see us on weekends anymore - I started getting really angry.

I'm getting good with my anger now - when I got pissed before, I'd just scream at people.

Now I can actually structure my sentences, speak calmly, but with this proper evil tone - and I don't swear very much.

Shelly started jabbing herself with her sketchbook scissors.

I couldn't bear to watch that - and I could see Ash was starting to get really upset.

Ash was taking her anger out by chewing on the lid of her Tesco glue stick - proper DESTROYING it.

Then I saw a few tears drip out of her - so I squeezed her hand and put an arm around her shoulders.

I know if you cuddle Ash when she's upset, she just bawls - so I keep my comforting close, but not TOO close.

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When we went up to Photography - Shelly barged through the art rooms and went to sit in the 4th floor toilets.

She was in there for a good 20 minutes.

Ash and I didn't bother her - I assumed she wanted to be left alone.

Paul wasn't in, we'd all been set our own independant tasks.

I spent this time trying to calm Ash down.

She was at the stage where she'd just randomly stop and start crying again.

I myself was the only one who hadn't cried so far.

When I get THAT upset, I just CAN'T cry.

When Shelly came back - she'd been cutting herself with the scissors in the toilets.

She wouldn't let Ash see them - so she tried to hide them with her other arm when she showed me - but Ash still saw them.

Then she started off on the same rant as earlier - and I started to FUME.

Ash burst into tears again, and Shelly put her head on the desk and did the same.

I could only watch Ash cry so many times before I'd start as well.

I put my head on her shoulder and cuddled her.

I only cried a little bit.

I needed to hurt myself as well - and Shelly randomly produced a staple remover from her bag.

I was wearing shorts, so I just ran it up and down my leg a few times gently to feel the metal on me.

Nowhere near as deep as I would at home with my own staple removers.

Besides, I sharpen mine - so hers were TOO blunt to do anything with.

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Today it truly felt that Shelly didn't love me at all. :(

I felt really sorry for Ash. Ash hadn't done a thing and Shelly was horrible to her - made her cry about six times.

Saying that, I hadn't done anything either.

It wasn't even my mam's fault, if you think about it.

Nobody had said they hated Shelly - and neither me, Ash or my mam does.

She's just beyond paranoid.

If tomorrow is anything like today, I won't be able to stop myself from crying like I did today.

Febuary 2009

Top Movies this month:

1. Make Way for Tomorrow (1937) Pretty good. I liked it more than Tokyo Story.
2. Entre les murs / The Class(2008) (Theater)
3. Monterey Pop (1968)

The rest:

1. Fred Claus (2007)
2. Uranus (1990) I've never seen Gerard Depardieu act so mad!
3. Bella (2006) Okay movie.
4. Carnal Knowledge (1971)
5. The Secret Life of Bees (2008)
6. Actrices (2007) Valeria Bruni Tedeschi
7. The Black Cat (1934) A cute funny little nothing horror movie with a couple surprising twists that make it just about worthwhile.
8. Paisà (1946) (Theater)
9. The International (2009) (Theater)
10. Ples v dezju /Dancing in the Rain (1961) One of those surprising films. It was really likable and had those odd fantastical moments where you didn't know if the character was dreaming or was awake.
11. Way Down East (1920) Lillian Gish is always a pleasure to watch.
12. Deception (1946)
13. True Colors (1991) This movie rocked back and forth to being decent/watchable to being almost unearthly bad. Much effort was put into this I'm sure, but it just never felt right.
14. Brother John (1971)
15. City of Hope (1991) I had just watched Hoppers' Colors and City of Hope was so inferior. There were moments where I thought it might break through and be poignant, but that never quite happened. Colors is definitely the movie to watch about gangs and street-life in tough L.A.
16. Last Summer (1969) A movie that started out great and ended on a sour note (for me).
17. The China Syndrome (1979) This was much better than I was expecting. Jane Fonda usually gets on my nerves, but there was none of her usual over-acting, until the end. She is supposed to be clearing Jack Lemmon of his erratic behavior. She herself acts hysterical and there is no reason to listen to her, as she may be a crazed lunatic as well. To me, she is not a good actress, but she managed well until the end.
18. Wicked Stepmother (1989) Laughably bad, but Bette Davis' last movie probably not as bad as Joan Crawford's movie.
19. White Men Can't Jump (1992) This was probably wayyyy better than I was expecting. Wow, I dug it, even though I had put it off for months, and technically years, because I thought it would be dumb. Not so.
20. The Search (1948) This is an extremely rare movie by Robert Zinneman, and probably his best (that I have seen). Usually Zinny drives me UP THE WALL because he is SO BORING! Among the most boring. They showed it at UCLA recently, but I wasn't about to shell out 10 Bucks for Zinny. So TCM finally played it. And I must say that the relationship between the soldier and the kid (and trying to teach him English) was cute, funny, and sweet. I recommend it. It got to be a little cheesy at times, but consider that Zinny wasn't boring me for once, I thought it was fantastic.
21. Looking for Trouble (1934) (Theater) This was directed by William Wellman. I highly enjoyed it (as most of his movies are fantastic). He staged some great scenes: including a great fire one (he also directed the fire scene in Gone With the Wind) and an earthquake scene (so good). I've never seen Spencer Tracy so good or so young. This movie is incredibly rare. I took the day off so I could go to UCLA to see it (it was playing in the middle of the afternoon)! All in all, it was incredibly worth it. But I gave it a rating of 7/10 and it was probably more like 7.5/10. I was hesitant, but I almost rated it an 8/10. "Wild" Bill Wellman was just da bomb.
22. Anatomy of a Murder (1959) The first time I tried to watch this, I turned it off. Jimmy Stewart was more of a horn-dog than usual and that greatly disturbed me. However, I gave it another chance (around 5-6 years later). I liked it more this time. I had seen one of the dramatic courtroom scenes used at least twice in some specials on film, so I knew a little bit of what was coming. Oh well. I never got why people thought Lee Remick was hot, but I guess she was not bad in this film.
23. Tropic Thunder (2008) Not that great to me.
    
24. The Hawk Is Dying (2006) This movie could have been better, but it also could have been a lot worse. Certain people's relationships are hidden from us, and at several different points in the movie they are revealed. This might work, but we never quite figure out who Michelle Williams' character is, how she relates to anyone, and why Paul Giamatti is so interested in her, since she's in bed half the time and screws everything and everyone up.
25. Une parisienne (1957) A really entertaining Brigitte Bardot film. Brigitte plays a girl named Brigitte and is very flirtatious and FUNNY in this film! Every Monday night I try to watch something French, to improve my language skills. Didn't learn much, and older films aren't as helpful, because sometimes there are subtle changes in the language and some ways of phrasing have become out of date.
26. Love in the Time of Cholera (2007) I heard this film was terrible. No it wasn't great, but Javier Bardem was decent in it.
27. The Dresser (1983) This was a silly over-the-top movie about a theater actor (Albert Finney) who liked to throw fits. Really, it was not to my liking.
28. Coraline 3-D (2009) (Theater)
29. A Mighty Heart (2007) I'm not sure how Angelina Jolie's career could tank any further. I was sad to hear what happened to Daniel Pearl, yet this movie is really the laughing-stock of Hollywood. So bad it's hysterical, which is very bad.
30. Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? (1971) Pretty good for a movie of its time. However, it has a low rating on IMDB.
31. No Sad Songs for Me (1950) It's like Isabel Coixet saw this and used it as a template for My Life Without Me.
32. Handle with Care /Citizen's Band (1977) Jonathan Demme - Could have been a lot better, but it was okay.

Anne Hathaway Double Feature:

1. Get Smart (2008)
2. Rachel Getting Married (2008)
   Both Anne Hathaway movies were pretty dumb, but at least Steve Carell is cute, and saved the day with Get Smart.

Dennis Hopper Films:

1. Mad Dog Morgan (1976)
2. Colors (1988)
3. Land of the Dead (2005) George Romero is just beating a dead horse. There is nothing that interesting about this film, save a good performance by Dennis Hopper. Also Asia Argento isn't too bad in this. The storyline about the zombies just seems so tired and old though; Romero should give up already.
4. Easy Rider (1969) I was trying to think of movies that reminded me of this type of film. I came up with Two-Lane Blacktop and Winders' Kings of Road. Both of those came out shortly after Easy Rider and I didn't like either of them. Both were lame attempts to try to capture the spirit of the original ground-breaking film. Both failed miserably and didn't have "it" (for me). I have always wondered why. Now I know.
5. Word of Mouth on TCM (short/segment): Dennis Hopper (Actor/Director) - He joked about how having Jack Nicholson in his picture would ruin, but then he said, nah Jack was great. They went to Mardi Gras with like 16mm cameras (him & 5 of his friends) for a test shoot, and if it turned out well, they'd make Easy Rider. I guess the rest, they say, is history.
6. Hang 'Em High (1968)
7. Der Amerikanische Freund/ The American Friend (1977)
8. "The Twilight Zone: He's Alive (#4.4)" (1963) Dennis Hopper as a crazy character. It was pretty intense.

Bruce Conner Shorts (Theater):

1. Cosmic Ray (1962)
2. A Movie (1958) Rewatch
3. Vivian (1965) Rewatch - Used to be my favorite, but I remember different accompanying music when I saw it on youtube. I don't know what my favorite is now.
4. Ten Second Film (1965) Rewatch First rating: 5/10, Second rating: 7/10 (I was a little more amused)
5. Breakaway (1966)
6. The White Rose (1967)
7. Crossroads (1976) Rewatch
8. Mongoloid (1978) Rewatch
9. America Is Waiting (1981) Rewatch
10. Easter Morning (2008) Lots of lights swirling around flowers. Looks lousy on digital on the big screen. However, it is still a decent effort by B.C. and his last.

Shorts:

1. Love in a Hammock (1901) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhtFuh51fCo
2. Uncle Josh at the Moving Picture Show (1902) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PSMcqvbB7s
3. The Little Match Seller (1902) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu0t5mfGB_w
4. Foxy Grandpa and Polly in a Little Hilarity (1902) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49B3Znxi ... re=related
5. À bientôt, j'espère (1968) Documentary on a strike by Chris Marker.
6. The Sun and the Moon (2008/I)
7. Dada (2008/I)
8. Fear Tomorrow (2006)
9. Holodomor: Ukraine's Genocide of 1932-33 (2008) A real eye-opening experience about a relatively unknown even in history.
10. The Hard Guy (1930) This movie was endearing and features Spencer Tracy (I usually am not wild about him). I was reading part of Robert McKee's Story later that night, and he happened to talk about "Cheap Surprises". This film has one, but I still liked the way it was used. Screw McKee.

Partial Movies:

1. "Berlin Alexanderplatz" (1980) Parts 1-4 (have seen 5&6, just need to see parts 7&8, the way the VHS system works)
2. Pretty Baby (1978) I love Louis Malle, but this film just wasn't working for me at all.
3. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)It started out really good, zany, nice musical number. However, it got to the point where it was so stupid, and I had more than an hour left. Therefore, I felt like I was wasting my time and had to give up on it.
   

TV-Related:

1. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Mail Order Prophet (#3.2)" (1957)
2. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The $2,000,000 Defense (#4.5)" (1958)
3. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Murder Me Twice (#4.9)" (1958)
4. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Mrs. Herman and Mrs. Fenimore (#4.12)" (1958) I sort of saw the end coming, which means it was really obvious, because I usually never can predict these things. But all in all it was pretty enjoyable.
5. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Out There - Darkness (#4.16)" (1959) http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi482607897/
6. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Morning of the Bride (#4.19)" (1959)
7. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: I'll Take Care of You (#4.23)" (1959)
8. "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Touché (#4.35)" (1959)
9. "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: Night Fever (#3.28)" (1965)
10. The 81st Annual Academy Awards (2009) (TV)
11. "The Directors: The Films of Darren Aronofsky" (????)

I was looking at TMZ.com when I came across a picture of Britney Spears and youngest son Jaden James.  The whole purpose of the picture seemed to be to show that little Jaden actually does exist, because evidently he has been out of the spotlight.

My question, however, concerns the poor child on the right.  Could those shorts be any tighter?  They look like they're painted on.  Talk about a serious wedgie.