Seventeen @ MindSay

Blahh... so i just got back from playing beach volleyball and i am soo sore!!!! (OMFG there was the cutest lifeguard lol sorry) And it doesnt help very much that i only got 6 hours of sleep last night because i had to watch all these hyper screaming kids at this one camp. 

    but i guess the highlight of these last few weeks was winning some stuff from Cosmogirl magazine. I use to enter the daily contests in Seventeen and Cosmogirl about a few months back but i was getting mad that i never won anything.....sooo now im getting boxes at my door lol. So far ive gotten two shower massage scrubby things and two things of Cake satin sugar hair and body mist. 

 yeahh its pretty tight

well tomorrow i gotta get up at 6am soo we can start painting our new house

On valentinaxxx's blog divine asked a question " What were your dreams and plans when you were my age (I'm 17)?" I know nobody asked me anything, but the good thing about the blogging thing is that you can write what you want and nobody needs to read it if they don't want to. :p It's just that 17 was a really exciting age. It's not that anything had actually happened, god heavens, I was probably the most boring 17-year old ever lived, but the expectations of future! It's been 13 years since I was 17, and as it happens, I've got my 2 thick diaries here, that I wrote when I was seventeen. I wrote every day, and these 2 books were enough space for 6 months, so March unfortunately doesn't fit in here, so I can't tell you what I wrote on 15th of March '93. As you can tell from that, I had a lot of time in my hands, and a lot of things ran through my brain.

Let's choose a random date... Let's say November 3rd, 1993.

Ah. Our school was in danger. I went to upper secondary school (Finnish school about the same as High school) in a town called Vaasa. Our school building was this really beautiful old pinkish house, that used to be a girls school back in those days that girls and boys couldn't be left alone together for a second. In the 90's, the economy was in bad shape, and everything had to be cut down and slowed down and so forth and so forth, you all know how it goes. In Vaasa, there was several of these schools, too many to the town councils liking. Our fate was to be combined with another school, but how we would be required to go about it was the guestion. There was a change that we would be leaving our beautiful building and finish the school in the other school. We weren't at all into the idea. Their school was old, ugly, broken down and down right filthy, and we couldn't understand how anyone could even think about the possibility of that school being better than ours.

That day however, we were announced, that we would continue in our building, and The Others would come to our place. The bad news was that we were to change our name to a combination of both of the schools names, which we didn't like either, but the main thing was that we would be staying in our lovely school.

  ...................

Not that I was that into school however. Just that I suffered enough at school as it was, but if I had had to change building to the terrible place, I'm sure the last of my motivation would have gone down the drain. All I wanted was to get out and get to the music business and the faster I could pack my bags and move to USA the better. I had no trust what so ever in the Finnish music industry especially in the field of rock, heavy metal and gothic, little did I know that by the time I turned 30 Finland would be breeding bands like Him, Apocalyptica, The 69 Eyes, Nightwish, Sentenced and many more. If I had known, that some day I would be sitting around at the same bar as the world famous rock star Ville Valo, without even making an effort. (He's really cute irl too btw. A lot taller and more masculine than he seems to be in the pics really.)

I wanted so bad to be singing for a heavy rock band, that was the only thing I thought about, apart from writing maybe. I was desperately lonely - I had friends, but none of them really understood what I was all about. My best friend at the time though is still my best friend, so she's come through with me soo many things... However, I was convinced that at the age of 17 I was too old to start in a band. *Allow me to laugh warmly here*. As I started getting interested about things that my mother didn't introduce me to at a late age, and that being the case I was certain I had missed my calling, and there was nothing I could do about it anymore. Also I didn't believe anyone would take me in a band, as I was a girl - Nightwish hadn't born yet. I was taking singing lessons in the classical, and I hated it. And I loved it. I loved to hear my voice doing things noone I knew could do, but it certainly wasn't rock n' roll.

I wrote pages after pages about my "rock n' roll dream" as I called it, reviews of bands, things I wanted to do and aching for a connection to the world. I would have KILLED for something like the Internet, you 17-year olds today, you have no idea how lucky you are having this magical thing within your reach! I'm not trying to sound like one of those aunties you have who go like: "When I was your aged, I had to walk to school and it was all uphill, and then I walked back and it was all uphill..." We had it fairly easy, but getting connected with other people was done by writing letters.

I had tons of pen pals, that I had found through FB's, "Friendship Booklets". The idea was to make a little booklet and write your name and address in it, and send it to your own pen pal, who would add his or her name and send it on and on and on, untill it was full and would return to the person who started it. I don't really believe that one of them actually returned to the sender, but people on the way picked up names from the booklet and sent letters... I would get 2-3 letters a day, which is more than I get (real) email these days! It would be so cool to do that again, but quite seriously I'm not sure how many hand written letters I would actually get out before going: "Would you tell me your email address, this is so exciting..." (I've been looking for couple of English guys I wrote with online with no success. :( )

And then the boys... Oh geesh I was hopeless! First off, I refused to use make-up (which probably was a good thing in the long run) and ignored the fact I had a bad bad acne. The reason was, that I also refused to wear eyeglasses, and I litterally couldn't see the mirror right! I think I was 17 when I finally got myself a pair of contacts, and I was shocked to see myself as others saw me. After that I went out and got myself some powder, and since I'd been told all my life that I was dark in complexion (compared to other pale ass Finns yes) I bought the darkest shade... Oh man, I don't want to think about it. (I think I must add, that my mother hasn't worn make-up ever, so she couldn't help me here.) Oh yes, the boys. Now I've painted a picture that will probably clarify the reasons why I wasn't taken very seriously amongst the rocker guys I so admired. So I stayed a virgin for a long time too. (I didn't like it at the time, but since then I've decided it was probably for the good.) However, it was just before I turned 18 when I started to get the idea of it, and had some experiments in the area, but remained reluctantly virgin until I was 18.

Okay. That must be enough rambling for now!

The cake was a rich, moist chocolate morsel shrouded in sweet shadow frosting.  The icing itself, as prepared by grandma, was raised in the peaks of a miniature turquiose mountain range.  I found it to be positively delicious.

Unfortunately, the dog thought so too.

(As a result, there are fewer leftovers than previously anticipated.  Breakfast.)