Seven @ MindSay 
seven deadly sins
in this western movie the seven gunfighters have been beaten and told to leave and never come back, they just got their guns back and are left with a choice to run or fight.
i love old quotes but i was thinking is breaking really so bad? some of the most famous people in the world got that way because they refused to bend with the breeze and left a legacy that will never be forgotten, for example William Wallace, the liberator of scottland. Braveheart tells the story of his life and on his 'deathbed' he will not yeild because he believes in freedom and because of his courage Robert the Bruce finishes what William started.
ok sure William 'broke' at the hand of his enemy but as he says "every man dies, few men ever really live" so as i said, is braking really all that bad if it means that you can look back and say that you lived and have others remember you and know that when all is said and done you stood for what you believed in?
BTW, the Seven return to the village, some die, but the village is liberated, the seven leave a legacy the bad guy is finished.
"So clear this up for me...make me feel, make me real. Without You I can't see. Will You be my eyes?"
-The Less
Well, it's been about seven months since my last entry. But I took a look at this this morning and I thought the idea of a steady, free blog was delightful since my website went down in October ($$$$). I find the idea of primping up my layout and writing in this blog regularly absolutely amazing. Since my site went down, I've been floating between not blogging and blogging in notebooks and journals, but I can never quite articulate my thoughts as fluidly as on the computer, since my hand writing takes so much longer than typing.
So, I think I'll start this up again, and it will be très exciting.
So far high school isn't getting any easier. This year is, academically, THE HARDEST YET. Hopefully next year won't be as bad. At least I'm taking more classes of my choice than this year...I mean, technically I don't have to take French, or a science or math, but I'm going to. In that regard it won't be as easy a senior year as some people's, but I guess easy would get boring or something.
Anyway...socially, this has been a year (I should say last year) of many changes. I'm no longer best friends with my best friends; I formally called it quits and that has stuck for probably 4 months now. It's different, but right now I can't say I regret it. I should note, though, that missing something is different from regretting having done something. : ) Beyond that, I have drawn much, much closer to several people and grown more distant to others, whom I have before had loyally by my side. Having a part time job has also created new friend opportunities, and I much enjoy every single one of the people I work with.
I guess I don't resent where my life is right now, but as most people do, there are other things that I wish I did or didn't have in it.
ADDITIONALLY, I'M WORKING ON WAY TOO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW!
So with that I shall call this first of what will hopefully steady entries to a close and consider how to do my layout for here. :D
YAYYYY! ♥
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God is a Creator. He likes outlines and order, I'm guessing. He throws in the occasional surprise twist. (The platypus springs immediately to mind. Also certain political happenings.) He has an end, though. He knows how the story of all he has made will end. There is a plan and we are a part of it.
Which is why I'd love to see his DayRunner. Some folks have already been given tiny little glimpses, or general ideas of some of what is in it. Daniel is one of those special people.
The Lord God Almighty had already given Daniel visions of the future. Years later, we read in chapter nine of his book, during the reign of King Darius, he was given another. Daniel had been praying, you see. Extensively. Confessing his sins and the sins of his whole nation. He took a huge responsibility for himself. He begged God to look with favor upon the "desolate sanctuary" of the Lord, as his people had been exiled.
Daniel was a man who knew how to pray. He understood how to talk with his Creator. He knew how to be humble, for he was a humble man. He knew, too, that he could ask for things that were huge in the scope of the world, if it was something that would bring honor to God.
He knew these things because he had spent huge amounts of time with the Lord. This sort of relationship doesn't "just happen." People who demand from God and then curse him in their disappointment do not often have this kind of intimate communication, this humble understanding of the Great I Am.
Daniel's prayer was answered, in a way. Immediately.
20 While I was speaking and praying, confessing my sin and the sin of my people Israel, and presenting my plea before the Lord my God for the holy hill of my God, 21 while I was speaking in prayer, the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the first, came to me in swift flight at the time of the evening sacrifice. 22 He made me understand, speaking with me and saying, O Daniel, I have now come out to give you insight and understanding. 23 At the beginning of your pleas for mercy a word went out, and I have come to tell it to you, for you are greatly loved. Therefore consider the word and understand the vision. 24 Seventy weeks are decreed about your people and your holy city, to finish the transgression, to put an end to sin, and to atone for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal both vision and prophet, and to anoint a most holy place. 25 Know therefore and understand that from the going out of the word to restore and build Jerusalem to the coming of an anointed one, a prince, there shall be seven weeks. Then for sixty-two weeks it shall be built again with squares and moat, but in a troubled time. 26 And after the sixty-two weeks, an anointed one shall be cut off and shall have nothing. And the people of the prince who is to come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary. Its end shall come with a flood, and to the end there shall be war. Desolations are decreed. 27 And he shall make a strong covenant with many for one week, and for half of the week he shall put an end to sacrifice and offering. And on the wing of abominations shall come one who makes desolate, until the decreed end is poured out on the desolator.
Getting a prayer answered while one is praying has got to be absolutely heart-stopping. Daniel not only received an answer, but a vision featuring one of the very few angels we know by name in the Bible: Gabriel.
Gabriel did not bring him a letter and say, "God says YES!" He said, rather, that he came to bring Daniel understanding. A glimpse into that Divine DatePlanner.
The weeks decreed above are generally held by scholars to represent years. So there would be seventy sevens, or four hundred and ninety years all told "to put an end to sin, and to atone for iniquity, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to seal both vision and prophet, and to anoint a most holy place." Sixty-nine of those weeks are held to be accounted for, with Israel's history and the birth and death of Jesus (the Anointed One shall be cut off). That leaves one week.
One set of seven years.
Now, I have mentioned the concept of "seven" in God's book before. It really is not a random number. Gabriel here tells Daniel that a prince of the world will come and people will follow him and they will destroy much. And there will be desolation and war. People today seek peace...but we are going to have wars right until the end.
Then, this prince will confirm a covenant. A bond. A mockery, really, of God's bond with Abraham. This prince will be a creature of Satan and so will find great humor in mocking anything originated by God's holy promises. This covenant will be for a set of seven years. The last of the seventy sevens of Daniel. Daniel is told that an abomination that causes desolation will be set up in God's temple. This would be a high blasphemy, of course.
But Daniel is also reassured that the "decreed end" shall be poured on this "prince." Yes, there will be wars and strife and desolation. Yes, there will be --- count on it! --- a horrific time that the world has not yet seen. But yes, there will be justice. God's own justice. It doesn't get any better.
We are not told by Daniel how he reacted to this vision of God's Franklin Planner. He would have been grieved, I am sure, for his people. He wanted to see them restored, he asked for God's mercy to be granted to them...and it was, eventually. The people were allowed to return to Jerusalem and rebuild their temple and fortify the city. But Daniel knew that it would not remain.
It is a great burden to know what's coming. People ask for it all the time, though. We wish that we could just...know! That if we did, somehow we'd be better. We'd do better things, live lives that counted, spend our minutes more wisely. But knowing is not something we can handle, as a rule.
I routinely read the ends of books before I have fairly finished with the beginning. But that is just a work of fiction. I like to know how things end. I am thankful that God has let me know how it ALL will end. He wrote about it and has shown us. But he hasn't let me see all the pages of my life as he knows they'll be. And, I think, that's a good thing.
I live by faith that the pages will keep turning. I try to make sure I am on God's pages as they go by. And day by day, year by year, we will draw closer to the end of that Planner.
It is surely going to be something to behold.
Many parents out there know the feeling behind the human need to strangle their children. Or prehaps sell them to the circus. And if the parents out there that don't understand that feeling......count yourself's lucky that you don't have children that are overly inquisitive, overly confident, stuck on stupid, or just don't use their head.
What happened to me this morning will cause me never ever to close my eyes again........not even for *just a second* in the presence of my children ever again. Especially my daughter.
We wake up at normal time this morning. Six am. I get the kids out of bed, they get dressed and get breakfast. I do my normal routine and go climb back in bed till about quarter till 7, all the while listening to the kids. Everything goes smoothly. I get back up, grab a cig, make sure both kids have their bags, homework, and lunchs. Do my duaghter's hair. I sit down in my chair with a blanket becuase it was chilly this morning.
It was 10 till 7. I am still tired becasue I am working on 4 hours of sleep. I open my eyes back up at 5 till seven telling them to go to the bathroom and lets round up and go outside the bus will be going by here soon. I look around. No DeLaney.
"Coltin, where is your sister? Go find her and tell her to get going." said I. "Okay mom." says coltin.
Coltin looks all over the house and goes I can't find her. I said okay go outside she is probably waiting out there. Because she has done that before on me, I am in one part of hte house and she goes outside to do somehitng with out telling me; which is a big no no in my home-kids will report on every lil thing they do and that includes going outside. He comes back in and says I can't find her mom.
First thing is she went outside and got down by our landlord's horses and got stepped on or kicked! So I go outside and start yelling for her and was in the process of going towards the horse barn, when Coltin goes
"MOM! Her bike's gone!" Sure as shitten the lil animal I call my duaghter decieded to get a bug up her ass and ride her bike 2 and a half miles into town (not couting the number of blocks to get to her school) along a busy Panhandle Road! The first thing that went through my head was she is going to get killed by some trucker, rancher, construction, or late to work got to get the kids to school mom driving like dumbasses! Next thing that went through my head was Good Dagdha above! Some one could snatch her and her bike and we wouldn't even know where to look for her. She is a raraty intoday's world of few blondes and blue eyed girls! Then I thought Anu! She is just fine and a state trooper has her and they are going to take my baby away from me.
I kept call. Told her brother to go down to the end of the lane that the bus will be coming and stay off the road, I will be right back. I ran back inside grabbed my keys and my flip flops and tore the hell out of the drive. I took it slow down our streatch of country road and took my time along the hiway. Can you believe that lil feral female of a daughter, managed to get a good mile up the road! In less then 5 mins! I spotted her and I pulled a ways in front of her, just as a car was coming up behind us...........I almost had to jump in front of a car then because she saw me standing in front of her with the van and she almost swerved in front of hte car!
I yanked her ass off the bike and took her by the back of the neck........I so wanted to beat the shit out of her.....Fling her dress up and drop her panties right there and blacken her ass. But I didn't. I didn't yell, I didn't scream, and I didn't go off on her. I pushed her towards the van and said in a very deadly going to kill you later voice.....get into the mother fucking van.......NOW. Literally thew her bike into the back of the van it landed on the first set of seats and turned around and made it home in time to let her brother know she is fine. That he would be ridding the bus by himself and that I was very proud of him for not flipping out on mommy.
I told her to go straight to her room and I went and called her dad. It was either call her dad or me go off on her. Randy came home and by that time I had managed to get out of her why she did it. Want to know why? Are ya ready for this? Because I wanted to ride my bike to school! Did someone ask to see your bike? No. I just wanted to ride my bike to school. Are ya made at me? Don't ya love me anymore.
Thank gods I am not some guilt trip person, But that is when I lost it. Randy had to hold me back from her and shove me outisde and lock the door on me. And you ever do anything this stupid again I will beat your ass to an inch of your life. You could have been hit by a car and been seriously hurt or killed. You could have been snatched by some sick demented pervert and then mommy would have had to hunt you both down and kill the fucker. Mom and Dad are more upset because we were scared our baby girl could have been taken away from us if a cop found ya first, killed by a car, or snatched away from us!
I took away the bike. Randy loaded up all the bikes, hers, her brothers, and ours when he went back to work. He took them and put them in storage. Randy took away a weeks worth of tv and comp time. And we are going to discuss about taking away soccer.
I love my children very much and this is the first time at age seven that my daughter hit that right button where her father had to physically remove one of us from each other's presence. I always knew that we had confident strong minded kids. And I had an inkling even though Randy says, Colt will be our wild child, that in fact it will be our daughter that causes us the most grief even before she hits teenage years. With Randy's looks and his drama queen guilt trip behavior and my fuck it all attitude and Bugger all to authority behavior, DeLaney is going to make my heart keep jumping into my throat for years to come.
I immeditally called my mom and told her what happened and asked her if my siblings or I did anything like that and the answer was no. And I then apologized for allt he grief I had given them growing up and still sometimes do when I call them to talk because I am so frustrated over things. My mom started laughing and said wow......your oldest and one of your youngest uncles never got that until their grandkids got to be teenagers. Your sister won't even consent to say she deservers her sneaky lil back talking daughter htat she has......which is just like her. It only took you seven years of having a daughter that has the combo of you and Randy's over confidence to say it to me!
The moral of htis story? The moral is even though you may close your eyes for a few seconds or minutes and you think your kids know the rules of hte house......they can and will disappear on you in a heart beat. Either on their own steam or by someone taking them. And the fact is my daughter will be under lock and key until she turns 18!
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