Senior Year @ MindSay

So I haven't been posting much about my life since the funeral, but there's been a lot happening.

I went on a field trip ("Law Day") to downtown Detroit to see how court trials work.  I got to see Marvin Barnett, one hell of a lawyer (entertaining too), in court.  We were trying hard not to laugh;  he cracked a lot of jokes and was a very electric speaker.

I met a bunch of successful lawyers and judges after, all graduated from my school (go figure).  The most outstanding judge I met was Federal Judge Sean Cox (nice guy).  The lawyers and judges all gave us some advice: invent yourself to be yourself (we're only a group of 17-18 year-olds).

As of today my high school life is practically done (seniors get out early).  We had a senior barbecue. We ate steak (my friends got some crappy ones though...) and burgers, listened to a band play (my friends, not pros...still good though).  I also smoked my first cigar (not as deadly as cigarettes, so w/e), not bad.  Now, I'm not gonna start smoking them regularly, but if offered a cigar (not cigarettes), I would take it.

Ummm...senior graduation is later this month after my 3 AP's (I don't need to take 3 of my finals! I'm so happy! :D ).  Then I'll have the senior all-nighter (all night party at the school).

 And then...yeah college will be just around the corner.  It's surreal; the year just seemed to have gone by so quickly.

Wow.  I'm already almost two weeks into my senior year of high school.  You'd think it'd would be a little more exciting, y'know?  I mean, it's my senior year: this is do-or-die time, baby.  This is your chance to go out with a bang.  Become a person.  Define yourself.  Well, the funny thing is that I don't feel any of this.  I don't feel like a senior, and I definitely don't feel all extra special and whatever.

Now that I think of it, senior year is the year for lasts.  This is my last SHS volleyball season, this will be my last Homecoming, Winterball, Prom, Art Fest, Music Fest.  Last everything, it seems.  I need to make everything I do and everything I experience worthwhile.  I should go out of my way to do stuff I've never done before and have fun.  I think I should be more adventureous and take more risks (not like "Oh, I should go base jump or hike a volcano" or anything like that.  Just in everyday life).

Ever since Caite left, I feel like I haven't been doing any of that stuff.  Although I love her dearly and know that nobody in the world could ever take her place, I think it's time for me to move onto the next stage in my life.  It's weird not having a best friend that I know is going to be there all the time.  In a way it makes me feel a little vulnerable and awkward.  Don't get me wrong, I have many awesome friends whom I care for very much so, but it's hard not having your best friend there.  I never thought it'd feel so strange.

But the time for feeling sorry for myself is over.  I know I can get past this if I be myself and open myself up to different people and what they have to offer.  I just have to be ready and willing for these changes to happen.  We'll see how it goes.

So June 2007 has finally come to and end, and with it, my senior year. The beginning of the month seems years away...

 

The senior days were pretty fun, even our trip to Alexandria Bay. But that water is so cold, as soon as you jump in your whole body locks up and you get the wind knocked right out of you. Upon surfacing, my first words were, "SHIT! It's cold!" Then I tried to concentrate on breathing and getting back to the ladder while I could still feel my limbs. When I was changing out of my wet suit in the bathroom, I heard a couple girls debating amongst themselves about whether or not they should go swimming. I tell them, "Yeah, you guys gotta go in. It's the best swim you'll have in your life."

 

"Really??"

 

*snorts* "No, no, you're gonna die."

 

I also got to save a fish's life, thanks to the help of a rather large tree branch that was taller than me.

 

Then final exams, but those are hardly worth mentioning. Graduation practices with Sister Mary Nazi...I mean Nancy, were quite a show. I destroyed my only pair of uniform pants after my last final and was so tempted to find Sister Mary Linebacker *cough* pardon me, Sister Nancy and sort of go, "Watcha gonna do now, biatch? Put me in ISS? I don't think so!" Then run away before she could pummel me. Although the infamous day of ISS will live fondly in my memory.

 

Then of course Baccalureate and Graduation, and Project Graduation. I must say I had the most fun on Captain Bill's. At one point I got pushed into the break dancing circle, so what did I do? The shopping cart, of course. Project Grad was one of the rare times I ever felt truly connected to my class, and also the last time. I'm glad that I never have to associate with any of these people I've come to despise, but there are a few I will miss. My creative writing class, for example. It was such a small class, and I came to learn so much about the girls I had it with. There are so many awesome people that I wish I had met sooner, or had at least opened up to. In the end, it was me asking for their forgiveness, when after all these years I thought it should be the other way around.

 

Also, June was my birthday month! Eighteen is a very big year. On the 27th I turned 18, on the 28th I registered to vote and on the 29th I went gambling, legally, for the first time. I won $9.50 on a horse named Big Yawn. Actually, altogether I won around $27.

 

I also recieved my first "oh shit" gift. I mean, I love my boyfriend, but this gift was seriously freaking me out. To be perfectly honest, this is getting too serious for my taste. But then again, when was the last time I took anything seriously?

 

So June is finally over, and as my high school days end, my college days begin. I even have to register for classes today! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

 

 

My facebook status:

 

"Kaye is omigodohmigodohmigoddygodgod....SHIIIIITTTT!!!!!!"

I was flipping through the senior book I got today, a simple laminated and bound book of things every senior wanted to say or remember. I read Carrie's, Rachel's, Craig's, Aubrey's; Sam's and Jeremy's, Crystal's and Wayne's. None of them made me smile as much as Mar's did. None of them brought back as many clear, innocent memories as Mar's.

Hers was written about the beginning of last summer, the first day we got out of school, which also happened to be Craig's, Jeremy's, and Andy's birthday. We'd all decided to celebrate up at Mar's house and so, for a while after school (it had been a half day, if I remember correctly), I threw my clothes for Baccalaureate in the back of my car (I'd just begun to drive), and headed up to Mar's on Reservoir Hill Road. When I got there, everyone had arrived, and I immediately went in her house to change into my swimsuit and grab a towel. We went to the pond for hours, played in the water and the sun, hosting mock pirate battles and wars, each of us falling in the groggy water more than once, capsizing the boats, or being slain by a rather sticky handful of mud, courtesy of Wayne.

That was only one such time. I spent the beginning of that summer in wonderful bliss, and the summer before was similarly spent. I miss such times, when Mar and I were friends and everything was absolutely wonderful and there was none of this fighting, no possession charges, no pregnancy scares... everything was childishly conducted and no one minded. We were just kids, not... not young adults, heading into a life of our own.

I miss those days when I didn't feel so strongly for Matt, and when Mar and I didn't hate each other so.

This summer is going to be so different from any other. I know I'll be working more and more, working all the time until I have time for no one, not even myself. Five days of work await me this week, starting tonight, and I'm not looking forward to any of it. I simply want to stay home, sleep, enjoy my summer. I wish I worked somewhere other than Acorn, but alas. It's a shame I didn't get that job at Movie Madness. I would have liked it there...

All this nonsense is rather depressing. I'll go sleep for an hour before work.

Graduation is only eleven days away now. Today my high school career came to a near close, and that will be finalized on the 22nd.

so i keep having flash backs from close to the end of senior year, and people who were supposedly my friends saying things like, "are you turning your back on us?" because i was going away to school.  (oh and for clarification, i'm talking about the ones i hung out with all the time senior year.  so that would equal katy, geoff, bryn, kari, and justin.  i'm not including nate because he doesnt leave me in the dust or get mad at me for retarded reasons).  these are the friends that used guilt trips to make me feel bad for hanging out with others, made wild accusations about who i date, and blamed me for everything that went wrong senior year.  ok, as ive stated a million and a half times, i did some pretty stupid shit senior year.  that resulted into loosing some really close friendships.  but these people that ranted about how valuable how friendships are really have a shitty way of showing it.  (ok, well justin's friendship is on a totally different level, and i'm kind of glad we dont speak any more).  ok, this rant of mine is going no where because i'm only supplying half of the reasons why i am so upset, and im not quite sure how to articulate them.  all i know is that people are really dumb sometimes, and are very hypocritical.  i just wish i would have realized this in high school and not lost other friendships or been able to make new ones...ack, life.  im so emo...