Self Help @ MindSay

It‘s been nearly a year since I closed the last chapter of my life. I spent six horrifying years addicted to crack cocaine and connected to a life of crime. Crack put me in situations and made me do things I didn’t think I was capable of doing. The drug left me incapable of taking care of myself. I had to lie, steal and cheat to survive and would do whatever it took to get high. If you’ve never experienced the drug you would probably find it hard to believe the hold it can have over you. It’s not like other drugs that you can only do so much of. Something about crack wants you to do more and more until there’s no more or any way to get more. You’ll stay up for days at a time, do whatever it takes to continue getting high and forget about life’s other responsibilities.

Crack introduced me to a side of life I had no idea about. I met heroin addicts, prostitutes and various other forms of low lifes. Among them was a guy I met through one of the most ridiculous people I’ve ever known. Lloyd was a low life in more ways than one. He introduced me to “Rev” who had just been paroled on a murder conviction. It didn’t take long for me to realize that “Rev” had mental health issues. He also had nothing better to do with his life than continue creating havoc across the land. When I first met “Rev” he was hiding out at Lloyds after shooting up a few folks for robbing his drug dealer. Lloyd warned me to do whatever “Rev” said because he would kill me otherwise. Apparently “Rev” had committed a number of murders but only served time for one. I went undercover but failed to provide crime stoppers with any information they could use. Eventually the law caught up with “Rev” for parole violations and he went back to jail. I only mention this story to give you an idea of what my life was like.

Like I said Lloyd was one of the most ridiculous people I have ever met. I doubt he has or ever will work an honest day in his life. He lived from one hustle to the next, pausing to beat his fat, ugly, disgusting, so called wife. Just the same there was something about Lloyds personality that I could relate to. In a way, I even sort of liked the guy, although I would never admit it to anyone. I remember thinking if Lloyd could just improve himself in some small way the world would be a better place. It wasn’t like the guy was going to become an upstanding citizen any day soon so I thought even a subtle change would be good. That got me thinking about myself.

I’ve spent most of my life in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous and similar self-help organizations. My first experience with the 12-steps was as an adolescent after a series of drug related incidents that kept getting me into trouble. The school recommended rehab and my parents obliged. AA became my life for the next three and half years. In that amount of time I told my story over a hundred times at schools, church groups, 4H clubs and, of course, AA meetings. I was on TV on three separate occasions for being a success story. You might even say I was famous. The problem is once I returned to abusing drugs and alcohol after I graduated high school and turned 18 the program quit working for me. I haven’t been able to make a go of AA since.

It occurred to me that if I could start with something small and seemingly irrelevant like taking better care of my teeth that I might be able to change my life for the better. I started by no longer approaching strangers for change, what some people call panhandling but is more like stealing, and giving my change to charities like the Ronald McDonald House. Over time I added to the list of changes I was willing to make and eventually set a date to quit smoking crack. I quit smoking crack on that day and haven’t looked back. My life continues to get better as I continue to add to the list and stick to my previous commitments. I call it my Forward Momentum All Life Plan and am glad to report it’s working. The AA book contains a piece that refers to itself as a form of moral psychology. That’s what Forward Momentum is and why it continues to work and may work for others.

If you are or might know someone that Forward Momentum could help, I ask that you give it a chance. It might save your life or someone close to you. It doesn’t require drastic measures which is what makes it so attractive. I know there are lots of people out there who are desperate to change their lives for the better but either don’t know how or able to get programs like AA to work for them. Forward Momentum is for people like them. I know it’s for people like me!

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The author, Mr.  Andrews, is a noted inspirational, motivational speaker and conveys lifetime truths by way of riveting tales and examples.  If any of you have read it, it would be fun to discuss here somehow.  Anyone?

~ B