Secret @ MindSay

So this guy I like, that I was getting along not too bad with, now hates me and refuses to talk to me. He didn't tell me why, but he's told my friends. I wont tell anyone, but they told me. Each give a different reason. One I suspected, the other I did not.

The first was that I was being clingy. Maybe I wouldn't be so "clingy" if he'd respond every now and then. He kinda suddenly stopped talking to me.

The second is that my "friend" warned him against me. This I had suspected, because it was at that very time that the guy I liked started being cold, that I had just started talking to my old "friend" again. And he has admited, and it is true that he finds pleasure in making other people hurt. I think I will confront him, but I don't know if I have the courage.

I also know that they talked about me, because I owe the guy that I like money, from when he lent me some. I told my "friend" that I was planning on giving him 10$ extra. I didn't tell the guy I liked, this, but when the guy asked me for the money, he said the amount with 10$ extra.

Now, I think it's also stupid that the guy would believe him just like that! Fuck I hate people. I hate them so fucking much like you wouldn't believe.

I'm probly gonna confront my "friend", go to the guy and slap him, give him his money and say here's "10$" with 10$ extra, and say fuck you. Maybe add have a nice life. We'll see how I feel that day.

Wouldn't it be nice, if there was someone who could keep everyone's mind in order? If person A feels a certain way about person B, then person B will know how person A feels as soon as they feel it.....but ONLY if person B feels the same way. Seems like that would solve a lot of problems, right?

Yeah, it actually would just make life a lot more boring, but hey, maybe every once in awhile, yeah?

Anyway, I'd like to approach the subject of secrets and whether it's good to get them out there or keep them in. I guess yeah it really depends on the secret. secrets from childhood and things will make you feel better if it's just out there, even if it hurts a little at first. Secrets of the present could potentially cause problems.....and it would be nice for the situation to work just as you would like it to, but chances are it wont....and it really is just your decision of if the help it will give you overpowers the pain it will give others. and which is more important, and so on.


but what i wonder  is, what if every person in the entire world just didn't have any secrets? one day people pour themselves out into the world.....and every little thing was out there....how much would change?


i believe everything would

At least 3 people +myself (maybe more, and I'm not giving names) who I've been talking to, in some way or other claim to have some hidden part of them that they dare not show, or don't feel ready to... I wonder - could it really be that bad? I can't imagine it being much worse than some of the things I've seen come from less understanding people who don't even realise it (like my ex boss).

All these people seem good and genuine and I wonder if it's that they're ashamed of having a negative side in the face of their true personality (we ALL do), but they don't want to hurt anyone - I sometimes wonder if it has to be expressed to be dealt with, but there's also fear and doubt (understandably) of whether people would realise that it's just an issue for them and not their normal nature - I suppose people have to be prepared and hardened, and it's hard to know who to trust (even close friends and family might not go down deep enough). Without being able to show people our true mind, that trust and openness is understandably a hard thing to get - that I suppose is one of the conditions of life, although it does force us to look at people's true colours other ways (i.e. through behavioural patterns, speach, etc, it's all we have to go on, so must develop it)

To be able to look at ourselves critically deserves credit, not everyone can. Though don't be over-hard on yourselves :)

Today, if you get the feeling that something is being kept from you, you're right. Your usually strong intuition is stronger than ever now, and it's picking up on some seriously mysterious vibes. There is a secret being shared with everyone but you, it seems. But whatever's going on behind closed doors is only good news for you, so don't get too paranoid that things are going to change for the worse. On the contrary, things are about to get really good.


*let's hope that happens, ey?

Are you searching for something exciting and new?
Do you firmly believe it's there waiting for you?
When you sit and you ponder the "how" of it all,
Does it sometimes appear you're to answer a call?

 

>>A call?  Like a phone?  Are you nuts?  That's bizarre!
>>Yet it feels very much like it's not very far...
>>...like perhaps I'm just missing that one little piece,
>>That elusive detail, almost mocking, a tease.

 

You're creative; You know it.  Your life so attests.
But you cannot quite grasp that ultimate quest.
It's direction you seek, something firm, something true.
How will you know when you've clutched the right cue?

 

>>How will I know?  By the way that it feels.
>>When no longer is there a nag at my heels.
>>A calmness will come, bringing with it a rush,
>>A settling excitement, like a hug, then a push.

 

You know how to detect it.  You'll welcome the truth.
And you've known where to find it, e'er since your youth.
We're each one a creator, born with that gift.
The direction for none of us wanders adrift.

 

>>When I search from the inside, in quiet repose,
>>I learn secrets it seems that nobody else knows.
>>Why is it so easy to fall out of touch
>>With that innermost guidance that gives me so much?

 

And so you've recalled from whence it all comes --

Creative direction in all of its sums.

Nurture it, grow from it, bring from within

The wonderful wisdom...let vision begin!