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School @ MindSay


Little Lost Puzzle Piece

I feel like I’m fitting in pretty well at work, and people seem to think I’m a lot younger than I am (someone today guessed 19...dang). That gives me hope that maybe, just MAYBE, I will fit in at college, if I keep my age under wraps until people get to know me? I have to admit, I’m pretty self conscious about being what’s considered a “mature student” and being a few/several years older than most of the other students that will be living in campus. 


Fitting in has always been important to me because I was bullied so much when I was younger (especially in elementary school and junior high). Highschool wasn’t AS bad but I definitely noticed that I had a constant concern and awkwardness about being unliked or not fitting in. I think that’s why I didn’t do a lot of partying or anything in University, because I was so worried that I didn’t fit in, etc. My mom has it in her head that I’m going to live the Hollywood version of college life this time around, and seems to want me to. I think, I mean, I know that she wants what’s best for me, and for me to feel fulfilled but it feels like she will be pushing me towards socialization, and I’m not entirely sure that I’m comfortable with that notion, or at least, not in a major way. 


Time for an Update 2015
It has been way too long guys. Instead of me apologizing all the time, let me give you want you really want. A DAMN UPDATE!

Remember that last entry I had? All about foreign language? I passed all of my French classes woohoo! I still do not understand to this day on how an English major needs to have three semesters worth of foreign language. I'm most likely forgetting about about it unforunately, but with everything going on in France as of late, I've actually been catching things here and there which is a surprise. Just that closer to graduating.

Speaking of graduating. I never thought I see those words again or to be using it again. If everything works out guys, I'll be graduating by the end of this summer. I still can't believe I'm so close to graduating! There are a few problems. I still have to deal with school. I'm already so far ahead but I need to focus on what's happening now. I think this is the reason why I've come back to write this, to process my thoughts a bit more thoroughly. Senior seminar is kind of killing me. I feel like all my ideas are stupid and not academic enough, even the professor has been shootingthem down so I'm a bit scared on that class. Scared enough that I feel like I'm not understanding but too afraid to ask, I feel like a lot of stuff is just catching up and that I haven't learned anything at all. Prayers are seriously needed so I can get myself together.

Another big event here is I had to get my wisdom tooth pulled out. It ended up getting a chip aka giant hole in the tooth. And for me to be a poor ass college student wasn't helping. I paid out of pocket to get it removed. To tell you the truth, it's probably been some time, like ten years since I got my teach looked at. Hopefully with graduating that I can gt a job right after words. That's what's been running through my mind. I'm so close to finishing school and that's WITHOUT ANY DEBT. However things are starting to catch up to me, I'm so close guys so close to making it.

I've applied for a lot of Turner Broadcasting internships. Another reason I'm scared because it's been so long since I've been out of the real world work force. I've completely revamped my resume which I needed, it had been nearly four years since it was updated. It looks good but there's so much more I need to do. My brother found something for me and it's full time, but I'm not sure if I can take the job now though. IT's so frustrating having to see that. I mean making that job mine and turning it into a internship for my intern class would be great. I would walk into a full time job right as I take my final class (Internship), after that I would already be working in my job. Another set of prayers are needed for this as well.

Also isn't Valentine's day is coming up? I know everyone is either doesn't believe in it or is reminded by single awareness day. I just want to remind everyone that I'm sure there's someone you love and that loves you back. Spend it with a friend, a sibling, a pet, and etc. There's more to things in way than just being in a dating relationship. Speaking of relationships. Mine is still going okay in a way, but of course there's a catch. As Many of you may or may not know, my girlfriendis Korean. Unfortunately the Korean society is coming up a lot in this. You know te whole "1,000 years of pure blood" or carrying on the name. It's to where she can get excommunicated from her whole family. It's so sad, I mean to have my skin color cause so many problems. I've been worried about her and I'm not here to break up anyone's family. I'm not sure what to do and sometimes I worry about myself around other girls. You all know I love to court omen, ever since I can remember as a little kid, I love love love females. I've been staying out of trouble but I worry about being a typical guy. -bangs head-

Hopefully you enjoyed the update, let me know what's going on with you. I have so any people to catch up on.


Trying to make something
I have been doing free online bible school for a while now. The only problem with that is me forgetting to actually go and DO the work. It's not like going into medical assistant school, where you have stringent guidelines and a time frame in which to fulfill the requirements. Since it's so loose in its structure, I don't have to get myself in a tizzy over what's due when. I just do it when I can or when I think about it. I have learned a lot, while reaffirming much of what I have already known. Right now, I am doing two courses of study. One of them is the study of Jesus's life while the other is more about the Bible itself. I have made some real progress lately, but I did the same thing in 2008 when I started! It's been a long time, but I hope that I can keep myself focused enough to finish this time through.

I Survived!
Not only did I survive my first week of assistant teaching in school, I survived my first week of full time work in a few years (since the child arrived... most I've done is 30 hours a week I think and no paying regular work in the last two years), AND I've raised $1,805 using the online fundraising tool (see link in post below - the extra $860 not shown came from a private donor and is mentioned in the comments).

I've learned a lot in one week, and I know I have sooooo much more to learn. About child psychology (practical applications), about how to "follow the child" and encourage their interests, about how to tell the difference between working hard (even if not much is being done) and not trying at all.... Kids are cool, they are honest, even when they are being dishonest there is a level of honesty to it that we adults no longer have. They are still testing the waters, seeing how to make things happen. 

The coolest thing to witness is the Montessori method in action WORKING. Children coming into the classroom and gathering their materials and heading straight to work - because they WANT to be productive, they WANT to be busy, they WANT to be useful. When a child jumps up and picks up something someone else dropped without being prompted, it is a moment of pure beauty - that behavior,that compulsion to do what needs to be done, is something that will stick in their subconscious behavior forever. When a child sees another child struggling with their work and voluntarily steps in to give them a hand it makes my heart sing. I really love being able to allow children to become nice people, responsible people who feel like they not only should but that the CAN help each other. I also love that if a child has a deep interest in a specific topic, we can let them follow it. We give them MORE MORE MORE to feed their fire (yes, they still have to finish their regular work but they are inspired by the ability to dive into what really moves them to not only finish their regular work but to excel at it)/

My school is in crisis - we operate so close to the bone it isn't even funny. We will let pretty much anyone attend, though we are a private school, because we want to share. The problem is our current fundraising doesn't keep up with our needs. We give scholarships to ANY earnest parent who asks, but that doesn't mean we have cash to back it up. I've instituted a working scholarship style approach, which means the parents are putting in sweat equity but that still doesn't cover our costs in the big picture. Consequently, I've created a fundraising campaign to try to get some money in the coffers to cover our promises.

I am posting this with the hopes that those who have had or value Montessori style education might think it is worth tossing a buck or two out for the low income students we have so they can continue to enjoy it. I have loved everything about it so much that I went from parent to board member to staff member in two years. We charge the lowest tuition of pretty much any private nonprofit in the nation, we serve the poorest people in our state - and we really believe that teaching children positive stewardship and self-motivated learning skills are the best things we can do for them.

We have no political agenda, we just want our students to be kind and caring. If you think our mission is worthy, please share our link. We are one of many Montessori schools in our nation and world, but we are definitely in an underprivileged area and our community needs some help to sustain the school.

Thanks for your consideration, and for passing along the link even if you choose not to donate!


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