Scar @ MindSay

So I'm reading Scar Tissue- Anthony Kiedis Autobiography right, and here I am thinking that he had the perfect Hollywood lifestyle and everything, and I am totally... like... wowed by the truth in this book. I was like OMG at every page. It really made me sad. I mean, I was feeling sorry for him on the first couple of pages. I love Anthony, and if I ever see him EVER in my lifetime, I'm gonna go up to him and hug him. :)

 

I love this book. And I haven't even finished it yet. But I don't think my Pre Literature teacher would approve of me reading this. Ah well. She'll get over it. I LOVE THE BOOOOK. And no, Miss S, I am not reading Hardy and Dickens and other fancy authors. I'm reading SCAR TISSUE.

 

 

Love to all Red Hot Chili Peppers fans out there.

Lucky you guys to have lived through their era.

Some of us picked them up from 1996... :)

And I'm glad I did.

 

-loyalCONNIE

*bows down*

the red hot chili peppers have encompassed every music style from heavy metal to funk to punk rock to alternative to light indie.

this happens to be funk indie

this is Scar Tissue! sounds great acoustic

 

 

 

lol it was hard to get those high notes.. the bridge of my guitar cuts off at the 12th fret, and i had to hit some 17's...

dear sir,

so much.  it's to safety and to niceties and to a warm body that i clutch.  it would be so nice.  why not suffice?  puppies and laughing and domestic life.  being taken care of.  because it is not the fire, the fire and ice. the spark and the cold cold tired heart after the embers turned to dark, but still, remember that red fire arc, that rise, the eyes' blue-flame sameness and mine's reprise, the reddest-skies-kind-of-love. i am not obsessed with you, you are not my first and last thought.  it isn't for you that i cried.  this different love, is that all there is?  not the mark branded by caress or truest lies, by the mouth that hurts and hisses like the iron struck, red and glowing thunderfuck, insignia of kisses cauterized. if it doesn't burn, to where should i turn, or turn at all?  or do i only self destruct? where will i crawl if i should go? but i will go.  my memory to disembowel. the fallow fields to have only myself to sun-scald.  i am called.  i will run. when i do not fear my own unanswered howl, the hollow cold of leaving here alone.

and when i do not fear or hate the natural collapse and fade, from raw marrow and bone, hot blood, hollow feathers, wings are made, and birds are flown. and the sweet rot i will embrace.  and you, like me, will have to learn to let go.

until then, my deepest gratitude and care is shown.  sincerely, your friend and confidante, the fowl and flowered girl, Kelsey, the lover of hell and devils, pearly ghosts, the sensual, her own.

1
You need the untranslatable to watch.
You need to loiter a little among the vague
Hushes, the clever evasions of the vagueness
Above the healthy energy of decay.
You need the untranslatable ice to watch,
The purple and black to smell.

Before your horror can be sweet.
Or proper.
Before your grief is other than discreet.

The intellectual damn
Will nurse your half-hurt.  Quickly you are well.

But weary.  How you yawn, have yet to see
Why nothing exhausts you like this sympathy.

2
The Certainty we two shall meet by God
In a wide Parlor, underneath a Light
Of lights, come Sometime, is no ointment now.
Because we two are worshipers of life,
Being young, being masters of the long-legged stride,
Gypsy arm-swing.  We never did learn how
To find white in the Bible.  We want nights
Of vague adventure, lips wax wet and warm,
Bees in the stomach, sweat across the brow.  Now.
--_BROOKS

Warning

"....before you make that first cut remember. You will enjoy this.
You will find the blood and pain release addictive.
Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily...
They will get deeper.
They will scar.
They will take sometimes months to heal.
And years for the scars to fade.
IF you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again...
it will spread when you run out of skin.
Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame.
Even if you are the most honest person ever to live...
you will find yourself lying to the people you love.
You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison.
You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt or because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.
Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be.
Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100....Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around thinking about cutting ..cutting and covering up cutting.
And just wait till that first time you cut "too deep."
And you freak out because the blood won't stop...
and you are gaping....
and you feel yourself shaking all over.
You are having a panic attack and you are terrified but you can't tell anyone.
So you sit there alone...
Praying it will be ok, swearing you'll never let it go this far again...
But you will, and further.
Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper and avoid the ER.
And the better you get at treating your cuts the deeper they get.
You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find youself spending 20 , 30 or 50 dollars every time you go the pharmacy.
You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat everytime you go to the counter to ring up your order.
Butterfly strips...
3 or four different kinds of dressings...
betadine...
antibiotic cream...
medical tape...
scar reducers...
You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line will just move and no one will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things.
And at the same time secretly hope someon will notice...
someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies...
someone who understands but of course that never happens.
Medical supplies won't be the only thing you spend all your money on.
Be prepared to buy a new wardrobe...
longsleeve shirts in summer colors, bracelets, wristbands , boots... gloves..the list goes on and on.
You will start looking at everyone in a differnent way...
Scanning their bodies for any signs of SI...
just hoping that you might meet someone like you so you don't feel so terribly alone.
You wont even think about it ..
as your eyes scan their wrists & arms...
hoping just hoping they will be like you....
But they are not.
You will see their clean arms and feel terribly ashamed and alone.
You will start doing a lot of things alone.
You will always have to wash your laundry in private so know one sees the blood stains on your clothes and towels. You will always be cleaning up the blood..
Scrubbing your bathroom floor...
wiping the blood of your keyboard...
You won't be able to make it through a day without cutting....
Next thing you know you are in a public bathroom somewhere breaking open a scab with a sewing needle that you keep in your wallet for emergancies.
When you get really desperate anything will be a cutting tool ...scissors...a car key...a needle ... a paperclip..even a pen.
Doesn't matter what it is if you need to cut bad enough you will find something.
Say goodbye to things you took for granted.
Like wearing shorts or sandals...pedicures...sleeveless tops. A normal summer day at the beach or in a swimming pool will become a far off memory for you.
Get ready to itch.
Beacuase you will itch and itch ..."so much you will look like you have fleas or a skin disease."
You will become an expert on your body as you destroy it carefully..
You will dream about cutting...
you will dream about being exposed.
It will haunt you day and night and take over your life. You will wish you never made that first cut because while you absolutely HATE cutting...
at the same time you love it and can not live with out it... "