Saves @ MindSay

Group photo of last day of History before mock exams.

*By the way, my team won 4-3 against WAB yesterday. A little bit frustrated by the amount of goals conceded, but couldn't really do anything about them, as the coach hailed my performance as a "none of the goals were your fault."

Highlights of the game for me (in chronological order) was:
3-0 up when no.12 from the other team scored a spectacular top corner goal against me outside the box, think only Kahn or Cech could reach that, lol.

Clear offside not called by referee and I was beaten one on one by no.12, yet again.

Striker from the right flank (my left side) shoots from point blank range, I get my full right palm on the ball to stop it, but was powerless against the second shot as it bounced away from me, but another striker blasted the shot on the crossbar instead of tapping an easy goal in, got to thank luck and God for that one, lol.

Another attack from the right flank, another superb one hand save from point blank range, but this time, the defence were sleeping yet again and failed to catch up with the attack, and they tapped the ball in.

As she lays there on her bed in here dull room;

As she wonders if the world will end in a boom;

Does she know that there is someone at her door;

Or does she try to stay away from the roar of reality;

 

As the years go by and the nights come and go;

Where else can she turn but to the moonlight in the sky;

And as her eyes dry, and the day arises she lays in wait;

What is it she waits for, or what is it that comes;

 

Her 20th birthday today and no one in wait;

For she lays wasted till' day, for no way out;

or is it until no doubt, that her friend finds route;

And saves her for another day.

 

Sudden reliefe has come. Weight has been lifted. Every had that feeling that just when yours starting to handle things well the world decideds...as a joke...to crash on top of your head?! Describs my last month to a T. But I have recevieve comforting words from the ones I love. I have recieved compassion from thoes I don't know. I have been helped by a friend and been blesses by strangers.

Resolution comes in many ways. We must keep our eyes open and to the sky and all times. From above our salvation comes.

1 Thessalonians 1:10

'...his son from Heaven, whom he raised from the dead - Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath'

God, it's been so long since I've last posted; it's insane. SO much has changed, just from the summer 'till now. I have a little less than half of my sophmore year to go and it's summer again. I can't believe it's been that little a time, and there's been this much of a change.

 

Where to begin? I don't know. I guess, I'll just let my fingers and mind lead me to the begining. Not just everything else around me, has changed, but I have as well. I'm much more independant, I know what I want to do with my life, I have goals, ambitions, passion, I have so many things I want to accomplish, it just doesn't seem possible. I write, all the time, non-stop now, my art has developed immensly, I have my own style, techniques, I honed in on my skills and have improved so much! I wish I could say that about other aspects of my life. I'm still utterly un-organized, and, well a complete mess for the most part. I have things everywhere strewn all over the place, my locker in school, well lets not go there. And I'm still a hopeless romantic. I've been single for quite some time. I don't mind really, life's so much simpler, but lonelier, everyone around me ahs someone, but me. lol. It sucks hanging out with your friends, and their significant others..I feel out of place all the time.

 

My dad's girlfriend and her four children moved in. So the house is not as lonely anymore. It certainly has life, there's always light, always talking, always feet running up and down the hallway, fighting. It's fun. ^_^ I missed knowing the feeling of having siblings around, I've been seperated from mine for so long. I think because of all the changes, I've become inspired, and because of all the time I have to myself(kind of) since my friends are all pre-occupied; I've become very introspective, I've realized sides to myself I didn't before, sides usually others don't see. Alot of people think of me as fairly happy-go-lucky. And I am. However, I have a darker side. I'll go through randome, fleeting bouts of depression, any little thing at any moment will set me off. Usually they're spaced out. I'm not moody, necessarily, and maybe depression is too strong of a word. Melancholic suits it better. I'm not really depressed or suicidal, just a sense of sad longing. I feel like I'm wasting my time. I have all this passion to go and start my life, a sort of restlessness. I've felt this since I was 13 years old. I know my education is important, but because of my restlessness I slack off. I'm not stupid, I think of myself as a very bright person, I love learning, I love art, I love music. Art is my life. I live it, breath it, bathe in it, without it, I don't know what I'd do.

 

I'm a poet, and I use my words to my advantage, using them to cut through you, like bullets through flesh. I'm an artist using my images to spark emotion, light my way through the dark. Sling paint like mud, carve me soul out of plaster. Build myself through canvases, cardboard and tape.

 

I also contribute my sudden burst of over enthusiasm of art to Otep. I've been a fan for three years, but have just now found a greater appreciation for the band. And the woman behind it. I admire her so much! She's just, to put it simply amazing, not to mention beautiful. She's everything I could hope to amount to one day. Artistic, intelligent, strong minded and willed, she's over come the opsticles in her life that could have destroyed her. Turned her anger, hate, and sorrow into something SO much greater. My biggest fear in life, is to be consumed by my past, and amounting to nothing. Falling to the waste side, not living up to my full potential. My past is a troubled one. But the present is good, it's my future that concerns me. And the future of my siblings, more than anything else. I wish I could do my job as the oldest and watch over them. It tears me apart that I can't help them, that I only talk to them via e-mail and IM's, I want to physically see them, hold them, tell them that things will get better, but just because things worked out for me, doesn't mean it will for them. But my hopes are high, and one day we'll be together,I'll make sure of it.

 

Ok, I've rambled for too long, and sorry my writings all jumbled, but thats how my thoughts are right now. And I wrote it as it came to me.

 

 

Listening to-Rasputin-Dig Ophelia.