Sarcasm @ MindSay 
humor
copypasta from ED
PALIN ON THE ISSUES:
- Abortion: Palin is the perfect candidate for women given her strict stand on abortion and rape, having said she'd force raped girls to carry their rapist's baby to term. (<this is actually true)
- Corruption: Palin is currently under investigation for using her power to get her sister's ex-husband fired. (<also true)
- Family Values: "My daughter totally did not not not not not not get knocked up and that goofy looking arguement against inteligent design is totally my daughter. CASE CLOSED!"
- Guns: Palin is a strong supporter of the right to bear arms.
- Homosexuality: Like any good republican foot soldier, Palin stands for protecting the sanctity of traditional marriage against homo unions. This means McCain has to pull out and cum on her face instead of blowing his load in her ass.
- Religion: Palin is a professed Christfag and proud Creationist. But don't worry, Christian girls can still take it in the ass and it totally doesn't count.
- Environment: Fuck the environment, their be oil there.
- Missionary: She prefers doggy.
- Political Experience: She ran Alaska which is next to Russia
.That was a very informative email you sent me--warning me about the evil Muslims. You're so right! My ignoring their evil is just like the common German under the Nazi party or the common Russian under the communists. It's exactly the same.
.No, no, after this one email I've decided to put away all of my convictions and beliefs about religious rights, tolerance and acceptance and agree that Islam is obviously not a religion of Peace and the "fanatics" and "zealots" are in total control.
.And all of the muslims in North America must be in on it as well! Can you believe that? Right here under our American noses?
.I will choose to forward that email, Grandfather. I will do my best to make sure everyone in the world sees this email and "thinks about it."
.Finally, I can believe everything Fox News tells me.
"Sanctity of marriage" is another one of those phrases I hate. I hate it mostly becase "sanctity" implies "holiness". In theory, marriage is a bond between two people that should be valued and respected in society, what some people may regard as a "holy bond". That's just the problem with that argument-- it's in theory. The state is the one that authorizes marriage, and according to the good ol' Constitution, there is a distinct separation between church and state. So yes, in theory, marriage is a holy, sacred bond. In practice? It's a joining of two people by law.
And I don't even really think marriage is as "holy" as we make it out to be.
According to the Census Bureau, about 40% of all marriages ended in divorce. If we really want to get technical in "preserving the sanctity of marriage", why not go the old fashioned way and get rid of divorce? "Sanctity of marriage"? Wouldn't we be breaking that oh-so-sacred bond by getting rid of it? I think if we're going to protect the sanctity of marriage, we need to cover the entire spectrum, meaning us Heteros have gotta pick up our own slack and quit getting married for only 55 hours at a time.
Some people don't even get married in a church anymore! If we really want to preserve the "sanctity of marriage", let's just have everyone get married in a church from now on. That way, their marriage is 100% official because obviously it's holy if it was sanctioned by the church. Athiests? Sorry, not allowed. You gotta invest in the Lord if you want to be recognized as married to your partner, even if you are a hetero. How are you going to raise your children? As a bunch of Godless little hellions? Figures.
That brings me to my next argument-- child rearing. If children benefit the most from living in a home with both a mother and a father, then sperm banks need only be made available to couples who can't conceive (who, under the "Marriage is for babymaking" argument, shouldn't even be married anyway). If a single woman chooses to have a baby on her own, without the help of a man, then she is undermining the role of fathers in society and should have a psychiatric evaluation. She's also undermining the value of marriage, just like those homosexual couples that want to adopt a child and raise it in a good, loving home. It won't learn proper gender roles that way! It won't learn that girls play with Barbie and boys play with Hot Wheels! It won't learn that sometimes Daddy thinks it's okay to belittle Mommy and call her names! Proper gender roles, what the fuck is this, the 1950's?
In conclusion, we've got to go all-or-nothing on this sanctity of marriage thing, because frankly, it's not something you can half-ass without obviously favoring one group over the others.
Please not where and when I was being sarcastic.
Hannah, I already sent it, so don't even bother lecturing me on my attitude problem. I am completely aware of it.
Original Quote: My house is your house.
My Quote: My house is off limits.
Original Quote: A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
My Quote: A bird in the hand...will peck you and fight to escape.
Original Quote: Eat, drink and be merry.
My Quote: Eat, drink and get fat.
Original Quote: The early bird gets the worm.
My Quote: The early bird...needs to roll his ass over and go back to sleep.
Orinigal Quote: Never speak ill of the dead.
My Quote: Never speak ill of...the person who signs your paychecks.
Original Quote: I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
My Quote: I have always depended on ...air.
Original Quote: Idle hands are the devil's workshop.
My Quote: Idle hands are...doing nothing.
Original Quote: The love of money is the root of all evil.
My Quote: The love of money is...typical.
Original Quote: Justice is blind.
My Quote: Justice is...rare.
Original Quote: Love the one you're with.
My Quote: Love the one you're...spending the most money on.
Original Quote: Faith is belief in things not yet seen.
My Quote: Faith is belief in things...that probably aren't true.
Original Quote: It takes a village to raise a child.
My Quote: It takes a village to...make an outcast.
Original Quote: Repeating the same action and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
My Quote: Repeating the same action and expecting different results is the definition of ... politics.
Original Quote: Respect your elders.
My Quote: Respect your...limitations.
Original Quote: Can't we all just get along?
My Quote: Can't we all just get... a life?
Original Quote: You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
My Quote: You scratch my back...and I'll fall asleep.
Original Quote: What goes around, comes around.
My Quote: What goes around...can often be cured with penicillin.
Original Quote: Thou shalt not (insert favorite commandment here).
My Quote: Thou shalt not...quote scriptures at me.
Original Quote: Show me the money!
My Quote: GIVE me the money!
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