Sanity @ MindSay

Life is very psychological - behind all the physical things we do, there's always psychological reasons, and usually a psychological impact, our physical bodies are merely machines that our psychological mind can use to interact with a physical world, as well as housing the mind.

I have had my share of issues, I think nearly everyone does to some degree or another, but we work them out over time, they dissapear, and we get stronger and eventually less confused, and we use our own experiences to help each other out and get into a more sane state of mind altogether. Any attrocities that happen are a sign of the insanity of mankind (at least those in power), as is needing something bad (i.e. needing oppression, needing challenge, etc). Furthermore, emotions aren't logical, and we get a better grasp on rationality as we harden. Emotions also warp out perspective, and can create needs.
The compulsion for me to say this is probably a sign of my own insanity. It is the existence of insanity I don't understand - how or why it happened.

But anyway, for whatever reason, people start life on this planet with room for growth, they hopefully get better and might be let out at the end - or put through more mental training until they are ready. I know some pretty sane and good people though, they might have come purely (or more) for the intention to help sort things out - if they gave up their place in heaven to come here, just to help people, that is a very noble and respectworthy sacrifice, but even so, maybe there is a chance to get even stronger while here- might as well!
I think we all shift towards a role more like that as we become less the patient and more the doctor
The odd thing is though, the insane mind believes it's sane, hence you get people more sane than normal people stuck in mental institutions on this planet because they aren't understood, and the parents may be afraid

This is a little poem I thought of after visiting my therapist yesterday...wrote it for a laugh, altho many a true word is spoken in jest.

 

MAD HATTER

 

Sanity is a word, some say, meaning peace of mind

Insanity, on the other hand

Means no peace of ANY kind

 

Yet there is much to say 'bout all that's in between

Am I sane today, a little mad

Or just a drama queen?

 

When it's known I am crazy, I'll get by with so much

So, should I act this way or that

Or go for such and such?

 

"She's the one they say, tis sad; it's nothing unexpected

I bet she went around the bend

When her meds she had neglected.."

 

Here I go; since I'm a nut, I think I'll be quite daring

Give people something to talk about

Something well worth sharing!

 

Bonniegirl, February 28, 2008.

well as it now stands, the bump will be delivered via c-section on December 28th:D no one could be more happy about this than me (or marcus i should say due to my imbalance of hormones) I will be 36 weeks and seeing that he is already at 5 lbs, there should be minimum risk of any health problems. one of the reasons aside from my gestational diabetes that we are delivering early for, is the PUPPP. It is driving me crazy, almost to the point that if i took a cheese grater and ran it up and down my legs and over my abdomen and then poured alcohol over it, that still wouldnt be enough to stop the itching. luckily, it doesnt effect the baby and goes away soon after delivery. so i cant wait for it to be over with and GONE :D
As for other news, since I have to have a c-section, i will most likely still be in the hospital for new years, so we are moving the wedding to valentines day instead. I'll spend most of the day working on the notice cards and then order new invitations sometime in january when i get my sanity back.
so, with my itchy and sleep deprived body, im off to work for a bit of distraction. i feel all sticky because im lathered rather well in caladryl gel, but at least for the moment, the benadryl is working and i have a tad bit of my sanity to function with. everybody have a blessed and happy day full of light, laughter and holiday cheer!
~alisia

Alright, I'm back. Won't go into too much detail for you, since that may just bore you to tears, but to wrap things up, I started going back to a psychologist who said (a) you're one messed up little puppy and (b) we'll have you housebroken in no time. Learned how to knit and discovered that it's like crack, with the exception that I think crack is a little more socially acceptable. And I took a break from trying to sell my first novel and editing my third to write my fourth for National Novel Writing Month, something I'd wanted to do for the last three years. Already a fifth through, and I hope to hit 50K well before the 30 November deadline.

 

How's everything else going?

I am a person who has always needed an exorbitant amount of "alone time."  Where I can be in my own space, no one within arm's reach, where my brain can just go do whatever it is that it does when it has a moment.

Since my earliest years, I've been this way; it's just part of who I am.

I find myself, here with one more month 'til school starts, tending to list away from everyone else in the house.  If the kids are in the living room, I'll go to my room (always accessible, always with my ears open, and the bedroom is directly off the living room, anyway). If the Spousal Unit is in the bedroom, I'll come here to the office.  If I don't feel like typing, I'll hide in Cartoon Ranger's room and read or talk to myself. <smile> Yes, really. 

Not all the time, but more of the time as the summer goes on. 

I still answer questions, laugh at jokes, hear commentaries on whatever any of my guys is commenting on, but I do so from across the house.  We're not a "walk over here and ask me" kind of house, in general. Just a "make sure you call my name first so I know to listen" kind of house.

We'd probably drive some folks nuts.

This doesn't mean I am not an active mom. I was thinking about it, earlier today.  Trying to remember if Mums was always in the same space we were in, etc.  And then I remembered: We used to do something amazing when we were kids, in my house. We used to play outside.  We'd leave in the morning, run around with our friends (or go to their houses), play, eat lunch at home or  at a friend's, and then be home when the streetlights came on.  That was the rule.  As I got older, there was softball with the neighbors right down the street.  Bicycle riding.  Lots of activity nowhere near Mums. 

I remembered this with a sense of release of some residual guilt.  I am not a "bad mom" because I need and seek out my space where I can find it. I'm just a mom whose kids don't play outside because it's just not as safe out there as it was before. Or we're more aware of dangers than we were when I was a kid.  In any event, my children can't just go play as I used to do.

I've already started crossing the days off before school starts on the official school calendar put out by the district.  Sad? Yeah, but it keeps me sane.

Whatever works. :)