Salesman @ MindSay

I grew up in a small town.  Very small.  So small that there was no crime to speak of.  People didn't lock their doors when they went out, on their cars or their homes.  It just wasn't necessary.  And to alter a familiar expression:  You can take the boy out of the small town, but you can't take the small town out of the boy.  It was years after leaving home that I finally got into the habit of locking up.  But I never developed the kind of xenophobic paranoia that lots of people have.

Case in point, my neighbor Tiffany.  (Tiff, dear... if you're reading this, know that I'm going for the humor... please take it accordingly!)  Now, she's never lived alone.  Her adult life, she's always lived with someone, usually a boyfriend, but at the very least, a female roommate.  Currently, she's alone.  And her paranoia is heightened.  Like this past evening, for example...

I'd agreed to meet a friend for dinner at 6:30.  At about 6:00, just about ready to leave, my phone rings.  "Are you home?" Tiffany says in a whisper.

I want to say, You called me at home. I answered the phone... what do you think?  Instead, I say "Yeah. What's up?"  

She whispers, "There's a guy out in front of my door. I don't know him."  

I'm thinking, Yeah.  So answer the door and find out who he his and what he wants.  But I can tell she's scared, so I look out my peep hole.  Sure enough, there's a guy there.  I can see the back of his head.

"I don't like this," she says.  

Now, I'm not sure what she wants me to do, exactly.  So I say, "Hold on," and put the phone down. Then I go outside. "Hey," I say. "Looking for someone?"  

He turns, reaching under his arm, and pulls out something that makes my stomach knot.

Oh, shit!

It's a Sacramento Bee.

"I'm already a subscriber."  Four little words would have shut him the hell up.  But no.  I don't think to say that.  Instead, I say, "I read it at work."  A fair lie. But not a good lie.  

"You work seven days a week?"  

"Yes" would've been a bad lie.  At least I have sense enough to realize this.  "Well, no," I say, then proceed to sidestep all his arguments, as he deflects all my objections.

It's a solid, and I do mean solid, three minute pitch.  And in case you didn't know, three minutes is a looooooong time to listen to a sales pitch.  He eventually resorts to pity. "You don't wanna help me get my trip to Lake Tahoe?"  

Lake Tahoe is two fucking hours away. Get in your damn car and drive up there.  "I do, but I'm not gonna.  You're very persistent.  Good luck."  

He leaves, rather abruptly.  I go inside and get back on the phone.  "Boy do you owe me big time."  

"I didn't know you were gonna go out there!" she says.  Well what did she want me to do? Just stand there staring at him through the peep hole?  

By this point, I'm going to be late for dinner, so I tell her I'm about to leave.  "You are? Me, too! Can you wait just a second and walk me to my car?"  

Jesus.

"Sure."

A minute later, we're on the landing between our apartments.  "He knocked, and I thought it might have been you, so I said hello," she explains.  She locks her door.  And the deadbolt.  Tests the knob.  "When I saw it wasn't, I got scared."

I told her I understood, even though I didn't.  I'll never understand that level of paranoia.

Three steps down... "I locked my door, didn't I?  I locked my door?" 

At the office... had a massage that was truly wonderfully.................PAINFUL! ARGH..not my lovely relaxation kind of massage... OWIE. My neck is so far out of wack... I can feel the TP (Transverse Process)

My sales guy for the credit card company is STILL not calling me back.. .I am so not impressed with that.. and I think the next phone call I make will be to Clark Howard... and see what he says about this situation... see if there have been other reports of this kind of hidden 'fees'.... from a company that told me there would be no cost to make the switch. none... so why is my account zapped of nearly 500.00 as of yesterday? I just cant comprehend it.  Unless... the word SCAM?

I hate to think that... sheesh.

At work we are in the middle on construction, so a lot of people come and go.

A couple weeks ago, a fellow walked into the building and toured around a bit. We assumed he was with the contruction crew. Eventually this stranger walked up to the receptionist and asked who'd he have to talk to about the purchases. This triggered some alarms because he was selling something. I was drawn into the conversation.

We asked this man the nature of his business to which he pulled out a business card. He was selling light fictures. He must have seen the construction crew's vehicles and wanted to check this prospect. Or prospect this site. Or site the target. He must've thought he hit the mother-load.

I work in an office where certain employees actually require the lights to be dim for their work. (Yes, I work in a blood bank and we hire vampires to test the blood. Who else to check on blood quality but experts on blood!) To meet this requirement we have close to 80 flourescent tubes unscrewed.

He kept commenting on the dim lights, saying we needed to brighten the place up. He talked and talked about the quality of light in our work space. How poor the place looked. He made assumptions that lowered my esteem of him. One being that we were new to the place and moving in.

Finally, I stopped him and said that the flourescents were unscrewed on purpose. He paused, then with dogged determination he asked if I was the person that he needed to talk to.

I shook my head no, telling him who he needed to talk to. As is a salesman's duty, after I explained even further that I was sure we wouldn't require his services he said he would get in contact with Mr. Building Service Purchaser.

With a much heavier step he left and we haven't seen him since.

Of note: With the aforementioned construction there is also a reworking of the layout and all the employees are being shuffled about. The lights that were dimmed are now relit