Sailing @ MindSay 
"We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end. When we think to attach ourselves to any point and to fasten to it, it wavers and leaves us; and if we follow it, it eludes our grasp, slips past us, and vanishes for ever. Nothing stays for us.
Blaise Pascal (1623–1662)"
This is one of my favorite quotations. There seemed to be evidence of its truths in most things I saw, in different parts of the world I traveled, in different responsibilities and assignments that I had before having my own career. I found things to be illusory as it says. Thinking I had fastened on to this or that, only to find that it slipped away, even when I earnestly pursued it.
But not all things. On the first consideration, this seems a trueism, but it does not embrace affairs of the heart, or the desires of passion. Those things do not have to slip away, even though our hearts love takes a step back. I have no fear holding my love and my passions up to this saying. Love remains if its true, and she truly is the love of my life. Passion is not satisfied or failed, if there is even a fool's hope for its consummation. I am a fool perhaps, hers.
I hold up snapshots of my life lived, and the illustrations of the future I hope to see, like the finished sketches of a architech. I look to see what I will construct and know this image in no way compares to the flesh of reality.
Some things do last, our attachments are permanent and dear and they keep me going each day into a future that has only imagined images, but real flesh and affection. A new tract and perhaps The Pearl Necklace will be my solice I can share with my love, and our vessel that will contain us for the first of many passions, and adventures.
My former acquaintances have indeed slipped away, stranded to the past. They are in the part of my life that I'm disembarking from, sailing away. I am not a part of the past any longer, for it remains as fixed as does the shoreline, smaller as I move forward. Only my love exists in both the unchangable past and the future, and she always will. She is my heart's timeline. She is my heart's timeline.
But Pascal is talking about time.
Hot Rod Gang (1958)
I missed this exciting movie. I wonder what woman that graphic artist used as a model. Her curves look dangerous.
I do remember listening to the Beach Boys and their "Little Deuce Coupe".
I get rubber in ALL four gears. I wish.
My big brother had a hot 69 Camaro that I was lucky to drive a few times. That car could burn some rubber. Maybe I was more practical or just broke, but I had a used Pontiac Tempest and later a Vega (big mistake).
My brother and his friends got into drag racing. His friends got into the actual racing even more than him. He did drag race the car before the Camaro and won a trophy. If you don't anything about racing, one thing you should know it's expensive among other things.
A couple of times my brother and his friends were nice enough to let me tag along to the drag strip (maybe our parents forced him, I don't know). The nearest drag strip was near the small town of Oswego.
There, in the middle of soybeans and corn fields the roar of nytro powered funny cars was deafening. I thought the cool part was walking around the pits. There were some amazing machines being pushed to their limits.
Racing down this drag strip was open to anyone who paid the fee. I don't know the amount but it was reasonable. Back in the sixties they didn't even require you to wear a helmet. No special seat belts. When I recently asked my brother about it, he didn't recall even using his seat belt.
I don't know if the drag strips of today are as accessible. If you know, please share!
I found that movie poster picture on blog/podcast site that I found when I looking up info on
Drag Racing Songs.
Matt-the-cat does a Friday Night Cat Fight podcast that covers mostly classic rock songs.
Here's a clip of the US 30 Drag Strip commercial heard on the radio often in Chicago-land. US 30 was in northern Indiana.
Hello again everyone!
It's been a long few weeks since I've written so I'll try to condense it as much as I can into this email. In case you don't make it to the end, please just know that I love hearing from all of you! Please keep me in the loop on all the happenings in the US! The easiest way is obviously just to send me an email, but you can send me a letter at 32 Av de l'Estérel; Studio n°50; Juan-les-Pins, France 06160, or you even can call me at 011 336 47 78 12 00. Also if you can only read a few sections, check out Sailing at least because that is by far the coolest thing I have done so far!
Okay, on to the good stuff!
Ski Trip (Jan 15-18)
I went on a ski trip with Interculture, a student organization of CERAM, for a long weekend. We went to Val d'Allos, about a 3 hour bus ride from Sophia Antipolis. It was a beautiful ride, a scenic route through snow-covered mountains of the French Alps.
This was basically my first time skiing (I went once before in Colorado with the family, but hardly remember it). The first day was pretty hard for me, especially since I skipped the debutant slope and went straight to the top of a mountain. It was a bad idea- I eventually had to take the lift down (I know, I'm pathetic!), but I did get to practice my French while learning to ski. I spent most of that day either falling or trying to get up, but it was still a lot of fun and beautiful to be up in the mountains. The next day I stuck to the beginner slopes, so hopefully next time I go skiing I'll be a lot better!
All of us CERAM students stayed in a hotel/apartment building with 6 people to a room (about 80 students total). I roomed with 5 girls from Colombia and Venezuela (they go to school in Miami). The first night there were a few parties which were a lot of fun (like living in a dorm again!), but after noise complaints, we went to a discotheque the next night. I stayed in the last night- my body had to recover!
Inauguration ( Jan 20)
From what I could tell, most French people were pretty excited about Obama's inauguration. Kind of a funny story, actually – On Tuesdays I have class from 4-7, and Obama's speech started at 6 here. About 8 of 12 of the students in this class are AU students (the rest of my classes are diverse, but this one is a requirement for us business majors), and we all ended up leaving the class during the break at 5:30 to run home and catch Obama on TV. We were all so jealous of our friends back in DC who were there! Our professor was very understanding though- she actually tried to let us watch the inauguration in class together, but the internet wasn't working. Nevertheless, I got home just in the nick of time, only to find that live coverage of Obama's speech was dubbed over in French! I caught most of it, and could still hear him in English a little bit in the background, but it just wasn't the same. Although it was pretty cool I have to admit.
Monaco (Sunday, Jan 25)
I had a very long weekend (Thursday morning through Wednesday morning) because a couple of my classes were cancelled last minute, but I couldn't find any last minute deals for trips. Also I was a little unprepared and unsure about what to do for booking flights (I'm so used to flying standby!), and it's hard to navigate the TGV website for trains. I actually really wanted to go to Milan but couldn't find a cheap train last minute. It turned out that I caught a cold toward the end of the week, so I had to rest a lot anyway.
On Sunday, I decided to take a daytrip to Monaco by myself, just to get out! I tried to go a few weeks ago, but couldn't because the trains were on strike. It was a beautiful sunny day, one of the warmest yet (still chilly though). It's less than an hour train ride (€10) east of me, and I got to see many beautiful places through the window that I hope to visit for an afternoon (Villefranche-sur-Mer, Cagnes-sur-Mer).
A little info about Monaco: Only 0.75 sq mi, it borders only France and the Mediterranean. 30,000 residents, of whom 20,000 are super rich and live here because there's no income tax. It's independent technically but its state minister is appointed by the French President, and all the utility companies are French. Prince Rainier, married to Grace Kelly, died in 2005, and their son Prince Albert took over. "Princess Grace" and Prince Rainier are both buried there, actually inside the cathedral (which I missed). There are 3 main areas: Monaco-Ville (or Le Rocher), Monte-Carlo, and La Condamine. Monaco-Ville is mostly on a rock and includes the old town and the palace. From here are absolutely beautiful views, and I'm sure I could see Italy. Monte-Carlo is the other side of Monaco, which is where the famous casino is and the nightlife. La Condamine is the area in between (it makes kind of a U shape), which is the port with all the yachts docked, and lots of surprisingly cheap cafes along the water.
I got there around 11:15am just in time to watch the changing of the guard in front of the palace. I walked all along the rock (more like a hill), where there are beautiful gardens and pathways looking out onto the sea and the city. I went to the Musée Océanographique (the Jacques Cousteau Aquarium), which is on a cliff and was built in 1910 by Prince Albert I. Jacques Cousteau himself directed the aquarium for 17 years. Beautiful views, again, of the sea from here too.
After walking along La Condamine and eating at a sidewalk café for lunch and hot cocoa, I made my way to the casino. Only my second time to go inside a casino ever! To get into the super fancy casino costs money but there's a small part of it that you can go into for free off to the side with slot machines, so I went there and spent €21. Mom would be so proud! Apparently it's a new thing that you only have to be 18 (not 21) to get in, because all the signs still said 21 with 18 written over. I didn't get even get IDed though. As far as I could tell there were no coins at this casino: you just stuck your euros right into the machine and when you were done, it spit out a paper ticket with the amount you had left on it, and you could either use that as your cash out voucher or use it on another machine. After having some gelato I caught a train ride home around 7:30, after seeing the city a little bit after sunset too. I hope to go back to Monaco for a fancy night out, to go to a nightclub and gamble a little more. Also going to the Grand Prix in May would be awesome if I could find a way to get cheap tickets!
Sailing
Today I went sailing for the first time! If I stayed here for 4 months and never the left the apartment except for one day to go sailing, I think I'd be happy. It was by far the greatest experience I have had here yet. There were 7 students there today (there might be more next week), so 3 of us went on 1 boat and 3 on the other. As soon as we got there the prof (Nathalie) had us change into our wetsuits, and we immediately started putting together the boats! (I got my wetsuit a couple days ago from the huge sports store Décathlon, which was actually a hike from the bus stop.) We learned how to tie the knots (lots of 8s) and put up the sails. She spoke in French for the terms and English for explanations (we were all English-speaking), but also French sometimes and looked to me to translate for her! It's pretty neat because I'm definitely learning how to sail in France in French. Our prof rode in a motorboat while the 2 sailboats full of students headed out to sea. It was amazing. In the US I don't think we would have even touched the boat on the first day of class, but here we learn by doing, which is a lot better. Our objective was to learn how to steer today, but we also ended up learning a bit about the sails too. Turn into the wind, tightening and loosening the sails (la grande-voile et le foc), pull and push to steer… It was so amazing. Today we sailed from the shore to the cap, there and back 3 or 4 times, for about an hour. It took longer to carry the boat to/from the shore and set up/take down than anything else, but eventually we'll get it down. The water was so blue, and it was gorgeous weather (not too windy, thank goodness!). I can't wait to go out again next week!
Misc
I now have a library card, student ID card, bank card, and Carrefour loyalty card in my wallet, all from France! Oh, the library in Antibes is called Médiathèque not Bibliothèque, so I guess the language is evolving! Carrefour is like a super-duper-Walmart, except without all the controversy. It's bigger than Costco or Sam's but nothing sold in bulk and a lot more variety. Four aisles dedicated to wine, and lots of cheese and fresh meat, but then on the other side there are computers, mattresses, dvds, clothes, pretty much everything.. In the same building but outside of the registers are regular chain stores. You can pretty much find anything at Carrefour, and everyone seems to go there. Oh, you have to pay extra for plastic bags in grocery stores (usually like 3-5 cents), and at Carrefour they only have reusable bags (10 or 60 cents) that you can buy if you didn't bring your own.
As far as studying French, I'm still speaking it to all the locals and some students. I think I may be improving but I'm still way too far from becoming fluent. Classes are going well, I admit I haven't really studied much yet but there hasn't been much to do. Profs are really understanding about us exchange students wanting to travel and explore on nights and weekends, but by the end of the semester I will have lots of group projects due and more work coming up soon with midterms only in a few weeks. Also my spring break is the last week of February and I'm thinking about doing a trip to Rome and Athens- let me know if you have any suggestions though! I should be getting internet in my apartment next week, so hopefully it will be easier to contact me!
Food is delicious here, have gotten a few rotisserie chickens, tried soupe de poisson when I was sick, made steak and potatoes one night, and of course lots of wine and cheese. I found one cheese that is really delicious, but tonight I had one that is really disgusting and I might just throw it away if my roommate doesn't want it. Today there was a big strike all over France, which was anticipated all week. I think things should be running normal again tomorrow but half of the buses and trains didn't work today, and lots of schools (not CERAM) and stores were closed too. I love how powerful the people are here. If there's something they don't like that's changing, you're sure going to hear about it. I think people are too passive in the US and we let our government run too much. The government should listen to the people, not the other way around!
Okay, enough for now, sorry it is so long but this is also my record so I didn't want to leave too much out! Tomorrow I head to Brussels for the weekend with 3 other students. I'll keep you updated but please if you have any advice or comments, please share with me too!
Love,
Emily
It didn’t occur to me on Sunday morning. I had a list of clients and looking at a couple of the jobsites reminded me of the would-be solutions I thought I’d try. The beach was following the tide and our marine layer was pushing back the brighter part of morning for sensible people who slept late or indulged a desperate need deep under the covers with their love.
I had been up e-a-r-l-y and should have known that not being able to sleep was a sign. I made hot bread and then thought about which to choose . . . red or white for breakfast with hot French bread with melted brie and butter? If you must know . . . white, ice cold . . . “a charming light wine, with a delicate bouquet, and just a hint of fruit, aparagus and walnut” . . . it was buy one bottle and get the next for 5 cents sale at Bevmo, 88 pts according to Wine Spectator. Very tasty and finally numbing.
Berloiz joined me and an hour later the sun rose.
I thought of the jobsites again and thought back to the crime scene I just finished. There was damage and . . . .
It took me all night to put it back enough for the locks to hold it together and how proud I was when the doors shut properly and the locks snapped into place. The pay off was watching everyone just turn and walk away, knowing it was secure. I get “asked for” when it’s a mess. No one sees my work, or understands getting it square and level and smooth . . . with just the tools I keep on the truck and a quick run to the nearest Home Depot or Lowe’s.
I had enough brie and French bread where I could finish the bottle, or enough wine to finish the brie and bread . . . I called and left a message for Temptress . . . be there in two hours. I call the owner but I leave the messages for Temptress . . .
I knew he’d be there. Getting a crew is only phone calls away with the guys who travel and sail. I was the third man there and the mate envied my last few sips of breakfast. The cool wine flushed his face and he took my bag and alerted the cook. I checked my gear and radios and talked to Hector at the Coast Guard.
“How LONG have you been up?” He laughed and gave me a hard time with the reports.
“Crime scene, and then the next thing I know . . .”
“Jesus God . . . Get some coffee “G”
The Cook . . . came up behind me as I returned from the wine cellar and looked in my bag for the screw. Not who I thought it would be . . .
“Marta?”
“no!”
“hi?”
My Marta . . . reader-of-palms-and-astrologer, who made me soup and roasted “anything” . . . who had beautiful-blouse-full-of-breasts and long chestnut hair . . . was NOT standing there. I could tell this woman would never take the time to fully understand me like My Marta or tell my future the way I wanted to hear it with a happy ending.
“hi . . . I’m uhhh . . . I was wondering if you had some French bread, brie and . . . butter?
“Si” She took the bottle from me and turned around (red California pinot, after all it was almost 10:00 a.m.) and I thought she was going to put it back. She came back with a heavy porcelin mug, poured the wine and put her hands on her hips.
“Busy morning!”
“Se nombre . . . es . . .”
“No! . . . Por-tu-guses”
“Poached eggs, butter . . . and the bread?”
“ . . . and brie! Si”
“. . . uhhh. . . gracias? . . . thank you . . .”
My guy came down, and I was in luck. I recognized his “first mate” from the last trip . . . she smiled and I got a very-swell hug and kiss . . . (she kissed me then took her thumb, while smiling . . . and wiped the lipstick off my lips . . . and giggled . . .)
“ARE YOU listening to me??”
“no. . . I’m sure of that . . . no, I’m not listening”
“WOULD YOU m-i-n-d getting your shit together and giving me the plan by the time we get out of here. Have you filed yet?”
“Who ARE you? WHO is the cook? Where’s My Marta? The cook doesn’t like me . . . I can tell . . . I think I still have some lipstick you missed . . . ”
“Focus and file the plan!!! I own the boat. Your Marta is traveling and this is Riesa, who does like you, or you’d have your throat cut by now and she asked to meet you specifically . . . and Quit kissing MY first mate . . . “
“Riesa?” She came in with my poached eggs and some bacon as a bonus and re-filled my mug and sat a larger cup of hot hot espresso closer to me.
“Yes. I have a shower for you, after you eat. My brother is crewing.”
“Thank you, very much . . . uhhh? . . . your brother is screwing? Can he be reached by phone? . . .
“C-R-E-W-I-N-G. You have met him. CREWING . . . You will talk later ”
“Don’t take the wine!!!”
I’d had several bites and then remembered to file our plan and check headings. I popped topside to a “look” from captain, crew . . . waiting for the headings . . . more than a few raised eyebrows. I called them out and handed the sheet to the Captain . . . blue water and as much wind as I could find . . . and I felt Temptress take her first plunge and felt her kiss . . .
G.
P.S. Miss you every day . . .
i was still 19 and found myself on a carrier “setting sail” and about all i knew was that i was entering a new world and i wasn’t attached to the one i remembered anymore anyone anymore
checklist: my aircraft was squared away, gear and armament and when the time came there wasn’t any going back and whatever it was i faced , i’d deal with it. did i have a purpose?
no
it was something expected of me trusted to me that i would when the time came
i figured out how to be comfortable, how to be at home anywhere to extract singular things tastes sights and fragrance the most precious touch touch and be . . .
fingertips lips at once warm wet soft and smooth how a curve fit my hand and hers how the exhaled breath of satisfaction felt on my cheek the sweet words how eyelashes felt flitting on my neck and lust oozing and how sexy it makes you feel
once the ship was under sail it seemed like everything from that moment was just ahead of my highbeams finding someone holding me anchored me in the moment until I was made to leave
moments giving back two for one each release each breath fingertips touching lips sweeter words promises
so much you can let go of the world so much of and no purpose or ambition that is so important if you lose the touch of fingertips those two sweet exhaled words the feeling of time stopped (a bouquet in the air) and the familiar warmth of love returned
g
p.s. after all this time setting sail on Temptress reminds me nothing is more important my love i was always so proud of you
p.p.s. we're sailing to "two harbors"
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