Sacrifice @ MindSay 
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Laurie and I went to a little, new church on Saturday night in an area of our city that’s called West Central. It’s not a great part of town. But the pastor, a friend of mine, believes that God has called him there to bring hope to those who are “the least of these.”
It was fun. Clunky. Holy Spirit inspired.
There weren’t any musicians—he doesn’t have any, so we sang along with worship music on CDs, as the words were put up on the wall. But the Holy Spirit was there. He always is, when we worship the Lamb of God, who was slain before the foundations of the world.
What did my friend talk about? Living dangerously with and in Jesus. An apt topic in this environment. “Saddle up your horses,” Stephen Curtis Chapman sings, “we’ve got a trail to blaze, through the wild, blue yonder of God’s amazing grace.”
There is no better life to be lived on this earth than one that is given fully to Jesus. Is this experience talking? Sure. But this is Jesus talking, too. “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.”
Mehdi Dibaj was an Iranian Christian convert from Sunni Islam, pastor and Christian martyr. Dibaj became a Christian as a young man and joined the Jama'at-e Rabbani Church, the Iranian branch of the Assemblies of God. In 1983 he was arrested and imprisoned without trial in Sari and systematically tortured. He was finally tried by an Islamic court in Sari on December 3, 1993 and sentenced to death on charges of apostasy.
This is his confession before an Islamic judge who called him to renounce Christ.
“With all humility I express my gratitude to the Judge of all heaven and earth for this precious opportunity, and with brokenness I wait upon the Lord to deliver me from this court trial according to His promises. I also beg the honored members of the court who are present to listen with patience to my defense and with respect for the Name of the Lord.
I am a Christian. As a sinner I believe Jesus has died for my sins on the cross and by His resurrection and victory over death, has made me righteous in the presence of the Holy God. The true God speaks about this fact in His Holy Word, the Gospel (Injil). Jesus means Savior ‘because He will save His people from their sins.’ Jesus paid the penalty of our sins by His own blood and gave us a new life so that we can live for the glory of God by the help of the Holy Spirit and be like a dam against corruption, be a channel of blessing and healing, and be protected by the love of God.
In response to this kindness, He has asked me to deny myself and be His fully surrendered follower, and not to fear people even if they kill my body, but rather rely on the creator of life who has crowned me with the crown of mercy and compassion. He is the great protector of His beloved ones as well as their great reward.
I have been charged with ‘apostasy!’ The invisible God who knows our hearts has given assurance to us, as Christians, that we are not among the apostates who will perish but among the believers who will have eternal life. In Islamic Law (Sharia'), an apostate is one who does not believe in God, the prophets or the resurrection of the dead. We Christians believe in all three!
They say, ‘You were a Muslim and you have become a Christian.’ This is not so. For many years I had no religion. After searching and studying I accepted God's call and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to receive eternal life. People choose their religion but a Christian is chosen by Christ. He says, ‘You have not chosen me but I have chosen you.’ Since when did He choose me? He chose me before the foundation of the world. People say, ‘You were a Muslim from your birth.’ God says, ‘You were a Christian from the beginning.’ He states that He chose us thousands of years ago, even before the creation of the universe, so that through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ we may be His. A Christian means one who belongs to Jesus Christ.
The eternal God who sees the end from the beginning and who has chosen me to belong to Him, knew from the beginning those whose heart would be drawn to Him and also those who would be willing to sell their faith and eternity for a pot of porridge. I would rather have the whole world against me, but know that the Almighty God is with me. I would rather be called an apostate, but know that I have the approval of the God of glory, because man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart. For Him who is God for all eternity nothing is impossible. All power in heaven and on earth is in His hands.
The Almighty God will raise up anyone He chooses and bring down others, accept some and reject others, send some to heaven and other to hell. Now because God does whatever He desires, who can separate us from the love of God? Or who can destroy the relationship between the creator and the creature or defeat a life that is faithful to his Lord? The faithful will be safe and secure under the shadow of the Almighty! Our refuge is the mercy seat of God who is exalted from the beginning. I know in whom I have believed, and He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him to the end until I reach the Kingdom of God, the place where the righteous shine like the sun, but where the evil doers will receive their punishment in the fire of hell.
They tell me, ‘Return!’ But to whom can I return from the arms of my God? Is it right to accept what people are saying instead of obeying the Word of God? It is now 45 years that I am walking with the God of miracles, and His kindness upon me is like a shadow and I owe Him much for His fatherly love and concern.
The love of Jesus has filled all my being and I feel the warmth of His love in every part of my body. God, who is my glory and honor and protector, has put his seal of approval upon me through His unsparing blessings and miracles.
This test of faith is a clear example. The good and kind God reproves and punishes all those whom He loves. He tests them in preparation for heaven. The God of Daniel, who protected his friends in the fiery furnace, has protected me for nine years in prison. And all the bad happenings have turned out for our good and gain, so much so that I am filled to overflowing with joy and thankfulness.
The God of Job has tested my faith and commitment in order to increase my patience and faithfulness. During these nine years he has freed me from all my responsibilities so that under the protection of His blessed Name, I would spend my time in prayer and study of His Word, with a searching heart and with brokenness, and grow in the knowledge of my Lord. I praise the lord for this unique opportunity. God gave me space in my confinement, brought healing in my difficult hardships and His kindness revived me. Oh what great blessings God has in store for those who fear Him!
They object to my evangelizing. But if one finds a blind person who is about to fall in a well and keeps silent then one has sinned. It is our religious duty, as long as the door of God's mercy is open, to convince evil doers to turn from their sinful ways and find refuge in Him in order to be saved from the wrath of the Righteous God and from the coming dreadful punishment.
Jesus Christ says ‘I am the door. Whoever enters through me will be saved.’ ‘I am the way, the truth and the life. No-one comes to the father except through me.’ ‘Salvation is found in no-one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.’ Among the prophets of God, only Jesus Christ rose from the dead, and He is our living intercessor for ever.
He is our Savior and He is the (spiritual) Son of God. To know Him means to know eternal life. I, a useless sinner, have believed in this beloved person and all His words and miracles recorded in the Gospel, and I have committed my life into His hands. Life for me is an opportunity to serve Him, and death is a better opportunity to be with Christ. Therefore I am not only satisfied to be in prison for the honor of His Holy Name, but am ready to give my life for the sake of Jesus, my Lord, and enter His kingdom sooner, the place where the elect of God enter everlasting life. But the wicked enter into eternal damnation.
May the shadow of God's kindness and His hand of blessing and healing be and remain upon you for ever. Amen. With Respect,
Your Christian prisoner,
Mehdi Dibaj”
When I was at Ft. Stewart last month, one of the highlights of my visit was the afternoon spent walking through the Iraqi Freedom Memorial Garden. This is a place to show respect and appreciation for the ultimate sacrifice made by these brave soldiers. I walked with my daughter. We replaced windblown flags and momentos, brushed away storm debris, and spoke each name aloud. We read poems left by comrades and loved ones, examined photos, and silently ... or not so silently ... prayed for the families of the fallen. Each tree in these photos represents a life given.
The cause may not be a clearly defined as some would like. War has never been nor will it ever be a pretty thing, but there are times it is a necessary thing. Is this one of those times? Perhaps ... but that doesn't negate the sacrifice these men and women ... along with their families ... have made on our behalf. Over the years, so many have died ... even more have suffered in numerous ways. This is a day to remember them ... not to judge their service or methods ... not to evaluate the causes, but a day to remember.
My heartfelt and deep thanks
to all past, present, and future members of our military family.
~ B
When I arrived home I looked up the story of Bodhidharma and Huiko in Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, the slender anthology of Zen stories and Zen koans compiled by Paul Reps. There the two stories of the teacher Bodhidharma and his disciple Huiko are combined into one. The postulant Huiko stands in the snow and offers his arm, his turmoil, and his question to the teacher Bodhidharma. But in Zen Flesh, Zen Bones the story is followed by this comment from the medieval monk Mumon:
“Bodhidharma remained years in China and had only one disciple and that one lost his arm and was deformed,” says Mumon.
“Alas," Momon concludes, "ever since he has had brainless disciples!”
The master acknowledged me.
“Nonin,” I said, my voice thick and unsteady with entreaty, “you would not want Joe to cut off his arm as evidence of his commitment. If Joe cut off his arm and brought it to you as an offering you would be aghast. I know you! You’d say, Joe, what have you done, you moron! How stupid!”
The master listened calmly to my scenario. He seemed unimpressed. He remained silent for several seconds before he responded.
“No,” the master replied contemplatively, “I don’t know how I would respond.”
The master and I looked over at Joe sitting directly across our semicircle from me. Joe returned our gaze, blankly, and then looked down at his hands resting in his lap in the mudra.
Joe remained silent.
“You mean cut off his arm as a metaphor,” I said. “As metaphor it makes sense.”
The master thought about this.
“Kyoki cut off her arm,” he said. Kyoki was the master’s first and so far only dharma heir.
“Metaphorically you mean,” I said.
“Kyoki cut off her arm!” the master repeated.
It was clear that this was the master’s final statement on the matter. I understood that the master would make no concession to metaphor.
I was silent.
We all were. We all understood that Kyoki had given up her life, that is, the way she had previously lived, to study with the master. In that sense, yes, she had given everything, I could acknowledge. But all of us who were present knew that she had not cut off her arm. From his cushion the master gazed out over our small assembly to see if there were more questions.
There were none.
I didn't press the matter. The master was immovable, adamant, stubborn, defiant, in the mode I would call borderline insulting. One more question and the master, I felt sure, would call it or me or both stupid.
Had Kyoki cut off her arm?
No, not if my language meant anything at all. But perhaps the master intended to break the language or somehow to demonstrate its limits.
I was hung up.
Kyoki had given up everything for the teaching, yes, she had. Had she cut off her arm?
No.
It was all so interesting. I wanted to ask the master about the medieval Christian monks who had castrated themselves for God but the time wasn't right.
The Dharma Talk was over.
The master placed his palms in gassho, I struck the big rin, the keisu—gatsu!—and we all recited the simple eko and the four Vows of the Bodhisattva. In front of the main altar the master offered three full prostrations as we watched. I rang the inkin and we all bowed in shashu and I rang the inkin and we all bowed once more as the master left the room.
We brushed grit and the hair of the Temple cat and dog from our zabutons and we fluffed our zafus and stacked both mats and cushions neatly in their assigned spot in the corner of the Buddha Hall. The shoten had prepared the pastry, tea, and coffee which waited for us now in the kitchen. As we strolled to the rolls and doughnuts Joe pulled me gently to the side. He grinned and, feigning confidentiality, his eyes twinkled.
“Why did you have to choose my arm as your example?”
We laughed.
Over our pastry and beverages we made small talk of Christmas and Christian prejudice and in general of holy days and their observance.
That afternoon I received an email from Esther.
"I admit I was too chicken to speak up after the way the master responded to you,” Esther wrote. “Neither did I understand how cutting off an arm proved that the monk had the right stuff to study under the teacher. Huiko, though, certainly did get his attention! But the master never did explain in what way Kyoki had cut off her arm yet the master also said that the cutting off of her arm was not symbolic."
In my three years at the temple I had heard more than a few people say that because they felt intimidated by the master they had not said or not asked what they had wanted to say or ask. More than once the master had let me know that he himself knew this was true. Yet the master seemed to interpret their intimidation as a sign of weakness on their part; and it seemed to me that often the master’s response to such weakness was increased contempt. When I got home from the Temple I sat down at my computer and recorded my thoughts of what had just transpired.
Had Kyoki cut off her arm?
No!
A thousand times no!
But still I had learned, as I always did, from the master’s answers.
Every Tuesday I served as doan at evening zazen and every Tuesday night we ended zazen by chanting the Fukanzazengi, the Universally Recommended Instructions for Zazen. Near the beginning of the text is this passage:
“Therefore put aside the intellectual practice of investigating words and chasing phrases and learn to take the backward step that turns the light and shines it inward.”
Then—just a few lines further on—this:
“Put aside all involvements and suspend all affairs. Do not think good or bad. Do not judge true or false. Give up the operations of mind, intellect, and consciousness. Stop measuring with thoughts, ideas, and views.”
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