Runaway Bride @ MindSay

For some reason when the sun starts to go down i get vexed. I hate the sun too! But I seem to be at a loss. It's as if i've lost something, or am missing something. Nothing changes my mood either, untill darkness falls that is.

 

I finally watched the new Doctor Who. The Runaway Bride. It's not new actually, but to me it is. I still can't get over Rose. I hated the bride at first because she seems to have a big mouth, and she was allways yelling about something. By the end of the show however, I was used to her. I need to find some more of the new season. I'm not quite sure how to search it though.

 

Here's a song that's stuck in my head.

 

Can you see me going down
I am screaming out loud
And the fear of god is in me now
Dissolve
In the moonshine
I leave no trace
My visions have gone
Far away from this place
They've dissolved
Can you see me going down
I am screaming out loud
And the fear of god is in me now
Dissolve

I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night, you see
I was falling into love
Yes, I was crashing into love
Oh, of all the words you sang to me
About life and truth and being free, yeah
You sang to me
Oh, how you sang to me

Girl, I live for how you let me feel
So I question all this being real
'Cause I'm not afraid to love
For the first time I'm not afraid to love
Oh, this day seems made for you and me
And you show me what life needs to be
And you sang to me
Oh, you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me, I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you, this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

Just to think you live inside of me
I have no idea how this could be
Now I'm crazy for your love
Can't believe I'm crazy for your love
The words you sang, you sang to me
And you show me where I wanna be
You sang to me
Oh, you sang to me
 
All the while you were in front of me, I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you, this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

All the while you were in front of me, I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you, this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

All the while you were in front of me, I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it
When you sing to me

How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you, this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it
I can't believe it
Oh, but I feel it


-Marc Anthony

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Another song I rather enjoy. Driving home at the end of the day by myself and singing. This one makes me think of Syn.

Last night at plunge the message was about truth. The corner was a set of trash cans, we were asked to throw out something that would symbolize what is holding us down. I thought for a long time about it. I have a lot of things that hold me down, but there are lots and they're vague. I thought back to a period of my life that one of my friend's calls a "self destructive" period... ie a sinful period.

 

I was at home alone, and I had just finished trying to deal with the effects of my actions on another person's life. Unfortunately I don't live in a vacuum, so what I do, affects almost everyone around me. I felt horrible, broken down, beaten and like I had no way out. I didn't understand why I was doing all these things. It was like I was trying to fill a hole that I didn't understand how it got there. I picked up my cellphone and called a friend, when she answered, I immediately burst into tears and told her everything... not just what I did, but how I felt, how I didn't understand, how I couldn't come to terms with myself, or worse, God.

 

Instead of telling me I was stupid and to stop (like I secretly hoped she would). She started to tell me about how she knew. How she could tell that something was different. She told me about how what I should be running from is what I'm running to to fill the hole. Instead of  exercising my freedom, I was locking myself up. She said I needed to stop looking for something else to fill me and to realize what was already filling. It was from this conversation that I developed my runaway bride theory.

 

The bible says that Jesus is our bridegroom. This would make me his bride. In the movie Runaway Bride, Julia Roberts plays someone who keeps trying to marry someone to have something to hold. Thing is, none of the people she marries are what she actually wants, yet, she keeps running to them. When she finally meets Richard Gere, and eventually gets engaged to him, she runs from him as well. There's a point in the movie where she says something along the lines of "I run from my other fiances because I realize that they're wrong for me... I ran from you because you were right". I (and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one) have this same problem. I'm walking down the aisle to the only One who can fill me and yet, I get scared and turn around and run.

 

The item I drew to put in the trash can at plunge was a pair of running shoes. They looked more like sausages with a scribble on them but I know what they are and God knows what they are. I made a vow to stop running away. To stop holding myself down by running in the oposite direction.

We delivered in Miami yesterday, came back to Nashville today, and now we are headed to New Jersey. Looks like they are going to charge the runaway bride with a crime. We think they should. She hurt alot of people. It was premeditated too because she bought the bus ticket ahead of time. They may not need to throw the book at her but she should at least have to pay for the investigation and do community service or maybe spend a few nights in jail.