Rudolph @ MindSay

'TWAS 2007

 

'Twas the night before Christmas

and all down the pike

little traffic was stirring

this Christmas eve night

 

The full moon was hung

from the stars with such care

in hope that Saint Nicholas

might soon be there

 

The Bimmer was hummin'

barely slowing for tolls

as I raced to my stocking

probably filled with coals.

 

The sunroof was closed

and the temperature cold

when the banging above me

sounded like someone had bowled!

 

I lifted my finger

and opened the hatch with a clatter

and was bombarded by damn Rudolph's

frozen poopie matter!

 

Up above in the sleigh

That fat man called out

"tried to trick me this year did you?

taking a new route?"

 

"I looked for the red truck,

the white and the blue,

never guessed a hick trucker

would be caught in a BEE EMM DoubleYOU!"

 

Sorry old man,

I replied with a holler,

There's a toll comin' up,

you got a dollar?

 

Then leave me alone

just this once won't you please?

This year I'm pulling a double

on Christmas eve.

 

Got no time for no sleigh ride,

no time to give you a hand,

made the party in Pittsfield

now its back to Maryland!

 

Besides that Santa :

I'm more and more like you

I can't do it all night

it now takes all night to do.

 

I'm talkin' about drivin'

get your mind out of the gutter

I got 300 miles to go

I got no time to putter.

 

"OK Big B"

He shouted back in the wind

We'll give a pass just this once

So enjoy your little spin

 

But remember next Christmas

when back in your truck

that it was Old Saint Nick

that lent you that buck!"

 

He tossed down the dollar

damn Rudolph tossed something else

I'll get that cursed reindeer

and feed him to elfs!

 

Thanks, Santa, I replied

I'll see you next year

Enjoy the time off,

and next time, curb your reindeer!!

 

 

 

Merry Christmas to all

and to all a good night

from the off-duty trucker

speeding into the morning light.

 

 

 

 

 

WOO! Thanksgiving is tomorrow! Me and Nicole and Sally have planned what will be known as "The Flat 7 Thanksgiving". Most of the flat will be there plus Neil (a friend of Bryan and Matt) and Lauren (a fellow American from Texas). We're doing a "potluck" type deal so everybody (well, not everybody because then we'd have 16 dishes, lmao) is bring food or drink.

And I'm making the turkey. Oh no! I'm excited and scared all at once because I have no idea how it will turn out. I mean, I've gotten pretty good at cooking stuff without recipes (you should really try my sauteed mushrooms, they're the best :P hehe) and I can make pumpkin pie and green bean casserole no problem. It should be interesting... I'm thinking of getting like a cheap table cloth too to make like Thanksgiving at home. OH! And we're all making turkeys out of construction paper by tracing our hands, like we did in elementary school! Right now, the people most excited about it are Sally (drink), Dan (mashed potatos), and Neil (cranberry sauce). I'll be sure to take loads of pictures so ya'll can see how it turns out :)

Next - Christmas! Me and Sally went to the pound shop yesterday to get decorations. We spent 3pounds each plus the 1.25 we spent each to split a small 3ft tree. We're waiting to decorate until after Thanksgiving but I want to put up the decorations now! I've been listening to Christmas music everyday and I have an "icicle" garland hanging in my room and we're making paper snowflakes for the windows and it's just going to be the BEST. I'm so unbelievable excited and happy that I've been hugging everybody, lol.

I just cannot wait!

YAY FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON! And a happy winter to you all, however you may celebrate :)

The time when he had begun the graying process in his life has long past. But the end of the period has not yet reached. He has a ponytail, all men like him has one. He is also going bald, which simply compliments the picture in my opinion, many disagree. His glasses were never quite in fashion, just like his brown suade jacket and faded blue jeans.

He sits down at his desk, and old rickety thing who'se desktop has not been seen in over thirty years, and is reported as being missing in action. He moves away some papers to reveal an old mic, which he pulls towards him. He lights a cigarette, pulls out a bottle of red wine from his bag, which he opens with a cork puller found on top of some papers. The pulled cork gets placed with absolute care in one drawer, with hundreds of others, a sort of unique calendar, open spaces an indication of his absence on the day.

With a quick readjustment of his ponytail and a deep drag from his cigarette he places the open bottle on a pile of papers and switches a button labelled "on".

Mister Rudolph is, to put it frankly, listening.

Not many people listen. Everybody is speaking, sometimes all at once, and always with varying degrees of sense, usually the lack thereof. Nobody ever listens, not truly in any case. The worldwide suicide statistics is a true memorial to this fact.

There is one person who is listening. Who will never say a thing untill the speaker has finished, and even then his words will be short and curt, but that is not the point. The point is that he listened, and then afterwards aknowledged this with some words, usually a "thank you". This person is mister Rudolph.

Why is he the only one? why is he the only one who cares? Why does he enter his small and musty basement everyday at four, almost without cease?

Mister Rudolph is a person who has devoted his life to depression. He has sworn that he's life will be describable by one single word....depressed. He is intent on not being happy.

But, that is not how the maker has made us to be, and one can never be able to pull off an entire lifetime of sorrow and misery. Not even the most poorly off person can achieve this. Everyone, at some point or another, will walk out into a bright sunny morning with pretty butterflies and singing birds. Everyone will see it raining while the sun shines ( even in a dessert, although they wont actually see the rain since it evaporates before reaching them. ) and realise that the world is not so bad after all. Drug addicts see that everyday, even if it is for only a short time, and they have to be dropped on the run at the nearest hospital afterwards.

Mister Rudolph realised this early on in his career as a professional depresive. He found that the solution to the bramble in his path was to listen and absorb what people had to say. It is as much a known fact as people not listening that when they speak they hardly have anything worthwile to say and will never pass up the opportunity to say ill of his fellow brethren. By truly listening and absorbing their words, he ensures that he will be miserable and depressed for a long time to come. Through repetition he should eventually be able to kill the joys of being human, and instead replace it with the sorrows of being human.

I say should, because nothing ever really truly works out 100%. It will sometimes work out, but never 100%. You may ask why this is said, after all, he ensured his success, and yes he is very successfull. Which means that it works out for him. Which means that he is happy.

happyness has this habit. It has this habit of sneaking up on you. usually when you least expect it. Sometimes, and in mister Rudolph's case definitely like your wife coming home early one thursday afternoon.

This will now end abruptly and unfinished. I am not mister rudolph. You would know because this blog would be empty. I merely wanted to describe the character, and it was never my intention to delve too deeply, because i am sadly convinced that the person above does actually exist. in plural.
I have tried depression, and found happyness instead. Somewhere, at sometime you will meet an unexpected person and find that maybe shit is not as bad as it seems, and maybe you have wanted to settle down all along.

I am for the third day so far this week, entirely consumed by energy and excitement. For what i cannot say, even less for why. But here i am, bouncing like a little kitten with all of the cuteness included.

My recommendations for music to listen to in moods like these. Cake. good stuff.

Ladies and gentlemen, i now bid you adiue ( with spelling mistakes and all ) and will now take my leave from you with haste upon the cover of supporting the economy of our country, or rather those of higher posture as i.

bye bye now and dont forget to take a sweet on your way out, the last one to please shut and lock the door. chuz