Roundhouse Kick @ MindSay

>The Great Wall of China was
>originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
>
>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is
>based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and
>when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned
>karate.
>
>Time waits for no man. Unless that
>man is Chuck Norris.
>
>Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake
>before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
>
>When Chuck Norris falls in water,
>Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
>
>Chuck Norris doesn't actually write
>books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
>
>Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
>
>When an episode of Walker Texas
>Ranger was aired in France, the French
>surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
>
>When Chuck Norris talks, everybody
>listens. And dies.
>
>Wilt Chamberlain claims to have
>slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
>Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
>
>Contrary to popular belief, there is
>indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
>
>Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks
>himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck
>Norris
>
>Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with
>his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
>
>Little known medical fact: Chuck
>Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way
>out of his monther's womb.
>
>Chuck Norris once ate an entire
>bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
>
>Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
>
>Chuck Norris is responsible for
>China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and
>all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
>
>Some people wear Superman pajamas.
>Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
>
>When Chuck Norris does a pushup,
>he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
>
>One day Chuck Norris walked down
>the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
>
>Chuck Norris does not own a stove,
>oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
>
>Chuck Norris can slam a revolving
>Door.
>
>Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and
>craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he
>uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this
>as the "Circle of Life."
>
>The Sherman tank was originaly
>called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough
>to be associated with him.
>The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to
>develop a weapon more fitting of his name.
>
>There is no such thing as global
>warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
>
>Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome
>in a day.
>
>Once you go Norris, you are
>physically unable to go back.
>
A man once asked Chuck Norris if
his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply
stared at him until he exploded.
>
We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
>
Chuck Norris is the only person in
the world that can actually Email a roundhouse kick.
>
According to Einstein's theory of
relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
>
In a recent survey it was
discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck
Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
>
Chuck Norris invented a language
that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris
is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to
tell you he likes your hat.
>
Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris
let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them.
>
When Chuck Norris goes to out to
eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
>
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of
Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
>
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he
turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
>
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks,
You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that
Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever...

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in
the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the
Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the
Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.

chuck norris doesnt sleep. he waits.

chuck norris put the bop in the bop shoo wap shoo wap

ps i got this in an email from morgan! love you!