Rough @ MindSay 
For those who have been following my blog, this I tell you guys keeps my pen feverishly working overtime – thank you for being there and making it all worthwhile, you all know what happened in December last year. My family lost a husband and father to diabetes complications. He was only 63.
Life indeed is not a bed of roses no matter how hard you work at it to make it so. Yes, you may get comfy and content sometimes happy for awhile but round the corner life will rear its ugly head seize you down and try to keep you there.
Is that a pessimistic view of life I’m taking? Not really. I’ve written so much on positivity and a can-do attitude towards life that being pessimistic so suddenly is quite absurd. But it is a realistic view of life ---as presented by life itself.
If indeed life isn’t a ‘bed of roses’, where therefore shall I plant my --- Rose Garden?
If life does not promise me joy and happiness, where therefore shall I search or go looking for that?
There hadn’t been many a time in the history of this old lady here (yea, I’ll be 62 in June) where I would wish to stay forever in utter bliss. To make a long story short, the rough beaten path or the so-called road less traveled (not the book) was the one laid out for me to journey through. I’ve got scars to show for having gone that way – in the mind, heart, and soul.
And another one, this time a bigger one, bruised me deep last December.
Looking back at all that transpired then now pins my heart down with a heaviness ---one which I think would take awhile to lift off and cast away. But they say that part of healing is going back to the pain, come to terms with it and then resolutely move towards bringing that chapter of one’s life to a close.
Going back to those difficult times of our lives always brings tears to our eyes—my eyes. My family and I miss many things of the family we once were with him. It was not a perfect family we knew that, in fact it had more rugged hills or steep mountains or deep valleys which took us careening wildly after every bout with it… but it was a family, our family. So when we saw the trend he was taking with his health condition which took him in and out of hospitals at short intervals through that year, we sensed a foreboding that something rough and tough was waiting up ahead. I was scared for my family.
And it came. It began in November and ended in his final days of December. He died on December 9 and we buried him on the 14th.
With him gone, a void took his place in our life – an empty space, an empty place… and
… a new set of FIRSTS.
- Our first Christmas without him
- Our first New Year celebration without him
- Celebrating his birthday without him
- Our first weekend bonding without him
- Our first Family birthdays to be celebrated without him
- Our first Palm Sunday without him with his usual purchase of a blessed palm frond
- Our first Bisita Iglesia on Maundy Thursday without him leading the prayers with us
- Our first Easter Sunday without him in church with us
- Our first summer without him
- My first wedding anniversary without him
- And several more FIRSTS as life moves us along without him
But as a wise God has so arranged it magnificently… I have found my seeds now for my Rose Garden. Oh yes, it’s there on that list of firsts.
Seeds of…
- Family
- Closeness
- Love
- Faith
- Strength
- Hope
- Resilience
- Grit
- Spirit
- Laughter
- Courage
- Guts
- Compassion
- Kindness
- Care
- Bond
- Friendship
- Loyalty
- Devotion
- And even more new seeds are sprouting with each day, I can see.
This month, the third month after December, my Rose Garden will be planted. I have all the seeds I need and even more. One day soon those precious seeds nurtured and loved will transform into gorgeous blossoms of life and living. And from these my happiness will grow.
May God bless my Rose Garden.
WOW! What a Thwacky Thursday! I thought the work day would never end! Today we had so much traffic through the office I thought I would see a State Trooper at a desk!
Tomorrow is Pay Day...also known as Pay Bills Day!
I am going home to rest my brain and bones!
I wish I could share a cup of tea with the lady in the picture! Ah, tis good to dream!
Having a drink with one's self is a momentary bliss. Somehow you find a spot where you can be alone and uninterrupted. You ease into your own thoughts. You revel in the fact that there truly is such a thing as a moment of silence. Everything around you comes to a complete lull and you can actually hear yourself think. The drink is just an accessory.
A drink with myself is an infrequent but personal celebration. Sometimes I celebrate the fact that I caught every green light on the way to work or, that I got a free coffee because the cash register was jammed. For me, it's that simple. So,to you I say, celebrate the small things and have a drink--alone.
I wonder if they know what its like to die inside. I did. only a matter of an hour. i died. and she killed me. she tells me she supports and loves me. support and love are not murder. she tells me i have a 'chip on my shoulder'. what? pride and independance is a chip? they (him and her) taught me hate. you think you hate someone when you are younger. you think you know what hate is. you don't know what hate is until the only reason you haven't killed is because you never get the chance. i truly hate. i hate to the point where it wouldn't bother to punch her in the face. i know at the end of the day i love her and she loves me. but this isn't a true love. this is a natural relationship love that neither of know any different. it still wouldn't bother me to know that she got hurt. when she hurt her foot and was on crutches, i didn't feel sorry for her. actually i thanked the higher power for doing that to her. i smiled when i was told. she has killed me. she has broken me time and time again. i knew this point was getting near. i didn't think i could reach it though. i think it was ignorance to the importance of the situation. but i reached it. i reached the cold heartedness. my small peices have now turned to ice. they were chilly before. but before it didn't take much to get past that chill part. there is no warm part. there is no pretty heart. there hasn't been a pretty heart from almost six years. starting seven. it happend October 2000. that was the day i learnt what pain was. what a man really is. i learnt it the hard way. she thought she took if rough. she thought my lil sister took it rough. i wonder if they know what it did to me. i wonder if they can comprehend how much this has done to me. i wonder if they care. do they care that in a matter of 20 mins they changed me from a lil girl to a women. no intro. no easy does it. just bam. like a hit from behind. in
this was written awhile ago. i never finished it. but i thought i would publish as it is. i have no idea what its even about. or anything...lol. but whatever. prolly just an emo momment :P .....
Rough Sex
Why Some Women Love It, Why Some Women Hate It, How To Introduce It, And How To Not Go Overboard
By Jackson Morris
Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider.
Dating tips and sex advice for men and women.
Some Like It Hot
Let's talk about romance. Let's talk about passion. Let's talk about lust and unyielding adoration in the form of rough sex.
When I use words like romance, passion, and adoration most people immediately think of a great love affair or even a love story where the two people are smoldering merely from an embrace. Their eyes locked and entranced - even now they are breathing the same breath, inhaling and exhaling each other as if their union was the birth of nirvana itself.
Oblivious to everything surrounding them he grips her waist as if love were something you drive, pulling her close and slightly lifting her at the same time. She is futilely pushing on his chest with her small hands as if to only slow down the inevitabl...
Then as both mouths are about to taste the same kiss…she grabs his face with a furious grip, the tips of her nails slightly digging into whiskered flesh and she bites his bottom lip to the painful point of almost popping it.
Training Day
Some not only like it hot, they like it painful as well. Many women that you might look at as frail or weak or even fragile can take a lot more than one can imagine when it comes rough sex. Explore the obvious lessons of physics and logic first:
If you are a man of average height and weight in your late twenties, you probably weigh between 150 pounds and 200 pounds give or take a few pounds. Most guys really like to put it to a girl when getting it on. Now we have: Weight + Speed = Force. If she can take 150 pounds of anything slamming her until the point of climax then she can probably take some spanking and rough play.
Discovering if she likes it a little rough is not as tough as it seems and she has probably already given you clues.
For instance, if during intercourse she is always telling you to slow down or take it easy, then that is a sign that she wants the storybook lovemaking session that includes some slow, boring grinding that is much more satisfying to her than you. Women that hate rough play have no problem telling you to "take it easy".
The reason they don't like rough play most of the time is that they think it demeans them and promotes abuse and disrespect. Out of the bedroom maybe it does. On the other hand if she ever uses the words "harder" or "deeper" or "faster" or if SHE initiates anal sex then she can probably take more intense physical contact in other areas as well.
Now that you have heard the signs it is time to introduce some ideas to her and see what level she is playing at. The best way and most definitely the first way you should introduce rough play to your partner without looking like an abuser is Spanking.
Spanking your girl is something she might like (and you might too) and it is safe and regulated. You smack her ass (fingers together, palm arched and cupped) and then ask her, "Do you like that"? "Do you want more?" "Harder, do you want it harder"? Now you have achieved level one.
If you want to go to level two immediately then when she answers "yes, I like it", you grab a wad of hair and pull it as you say, "Of course you do".
True Romance
So now you know a few things about your girl and how to introduce them to her. Ask her as you are doing it if she is enjoying it or not. You know she likes the spanks and hair pulls - so maybe she is up for more. The next time you two are having intercourse, lay next to her in the spoon position lifting her leg a bit to penetrate her.
When you start getting into it, pull her hair and wrap your hand around her throat as if you are going to strangle her. Grip her firmly but not too tight, this is more mental than physical and many women get turned on in this ultimate "SUBMISSIVE" position.
Do not be surprised if you get turned on by it as well from dominating and slightly scaring her while turning her on at the same time. I call this position the "thief". A guy breaks in, gets caught in the act and tells her if she screams he will kill her. This is role play and role play is the best place for rough play.
Sometimes it is not just the spanking, pulling, pinching and biting it is the mental game you are playing with each as well. Speaking of which, the next level of rough play or pain is biting or pinching any sensitive body part such as the nipples, lips, clitoris, or even the head.
Some people (not me) like teeth as a sex tool and use them when they want to be rough. YIKES! Okay, maybe I like it a little. The veteran of rough play knows when to stop biting and not leave a scar or break the skin, because it is not healthy and frankly it is not nice. Anything that would leave a scar or truly physically hurt someone is going overboard and will probably have repercussions.
Be a good communicator with your partner and focus on mutual pleasure when it comes rough sex. If you are insistent on hurting creatures that are smaller and weaker than you for your own pleasure - you may have read Of Mice & Men too many times should consider to staying inside for a while.
Re-printed with permission from Seduction Insider.
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