Something that I always get from some of my female friends when they are complaining about their significant other, aside from lacking heart, lacking sensitivity, lacking conscience, or lacking intellect, is LACK OF ROMANTIC BEHAVIOR. They are ALWAYS bothered by the fact that their men don't know how to be romantic. Here's my question :Why the hell not? It's not like it's something hard to do, or something that requires higher thinking; you just have to know how to make your girl happy, and how to do it in style. Well, maybe it's not that simple, but it's not very hard either.

One thing I pride myself on is my knowledge of being romantic. I like to think that I can be a romantic guy, and I like to think that many women would agree that a romantic guy tends to keep them happier. Maybe not always, but usually.

But I digress. I am tired of seeing all the guys trying their damn hardest to be romantic, only to go up in flames, so I am going to give a few offers as to how to be romantic, or at the very least, not be a jackass. I could be wrong, and a lot of these could vary greatly, depending on a woman's personal preference. But they're all worth a shot, I think.

Let it be known that, while this list is aimed toward men, romance is not gender-specific.

With that out of the way, here we go.

• Starting with the basics:




• Romance is a state of mind. If you have the right mindset, you can make even the most menial task romantic. But, if you have to WRONG mindset, you can turn a beautiful walk down a moonlit beach into a brawl.


• Romance is about all the little things. It's WAY more about all the little ways that you can make daily life with your significant other a bit more special, rather than the big, extravagant, over-the-top things you do (though, extravagant does have its place in the romantic's repertoire).


• LISTEN! I know, that's the bane of men: LISTENING. IT's not NEARLY as hard or boring as you'd think, if you just learn to CARE. Listen not only with your ears, but with your mind and heart, as well. Listen for the meaning behind her actions, and the message behind her words. She'll love you for it.


• Give your partner choices, plain and simple. Or, rather, plain or complicated, if you like. See how that works? I was just romantic to you. Now do the same for your own significant other. Nevermind the homoerotic innuendos.


• Pay attention to romantic opportunities, as they are EVERYWHERE. Television, Radio, magazines, whatever.


• Being romantic every once in a while is one thing, but living a romantic life requires consistency of effort.


• Take these basic steps, and give them your own unique and creative spin. Your own imagination is your greatest source of romance.




• Revive chivalry. Women say it is dead, and they are all kinds of right. Some men say women killed it, and we'll just let them say it. Whatever. Either way, chivalry is something that CANNOT be forgotten. Women LOVE a real gentleman.




• Open doors for her. Hold her chair at dinner. Help her put her coat on. Be NICE and CARING.


• Some women will love the revival of manners....


• ....while others may need to be re-trained to see that these gestures are tokens of respect and affection, and not messages that men feel women are inferior and helpless. Because women are FAR from inferior and helpless. TRUST ME.




• Chocolate. For the LOVE OF GOD, man, chocolate! 9 times out of 10, a woman will ALWAYS love chocolate. Not to mention, chocolate tends to be a GREAT aphrodesiac:




• Chocolate contains large amounts of phenylethylamine, a chemical that is also naturally produced by the body when one has feelings of love.


• 93% of all women LOVE CHOCOLATE. 50% of them really LOVE CHOCOLATE. 25% of them really, really LOVE CHOCOLATE. 2% of them really, really, really LOVE CHOCOLATE. If you love her, you will give her chocolate (among other things).




• More basic things to try:




• Love letters


• Surprises


• "I love you" phone calls


• Anniversary celebrations


• Romantic dinners out


• Giving gifts just because; for no reason other than because you love them




• Another idea: DO SOMETHING OUT OF CHARACTER. IT shows you're giving that extra effort to be romantic, and she will pick up on that. Some suggestions:




• Always late? Be on time.


• Always sit at home watching TV every night? Take her out to dinner, instead.




• If things just seem slow, or dull, or you are just stuck in your relationship, try freshening your perspective. Re-define how you see her.




• Start thinking of her as your lover again.


• Start treating her like your best friend; hell, she probably was at one time (or still is), anyways!




• There are lots of crappy and lame excuses out there for why you don't want to be romantic; FORGET THEM. There are NO excuses for not being romantic. Here are some typical ones:




• "I don't have time."




• Like hell you don't have time! You have 1440 minutes every day -- the same as everybody else. How you use those minutes is up to you. If she doesn't rank up there with your work, your sports games, and your favorite TV show, why don't you just get a dog for companionship, and save yourself the trouble of dealing with another human being?




• "I forgot."




• That's okay, I guess. Just don't do it again. You're allowed to forget occasionally, but not consistently. If forgetting is a habit, you're sending a clear signal that she's just not that important to you (Incidentally, if she really isn't that important to you, why not be man enough to come right out and tell her, instead of making excuses?).




• "Real men aren't romantic."




• BULLSHIT! Who the hell says so? Did you read it somewhere? Did your father tell you? Did you see it in a movie? What do you think? In fact, never mind what I say -- what do you think? What do you really think, believe, and feel when you're alone and being completely honest with yourself? When you're not trying to impress your buddies; when you're not trying to bolster your self esteem.
  
  If real men aren't romantic, then real men are lonely.




• "Being romantic is going to cost me a fortune!"




• Remember the Beatles? They were richer than HELL, and they still said "Money can't buy me love." It's true. Money can buy you companionship, attention, sex, and status -- but it can't buy you love or happiness. Being romantic can cost you a fortune, but it doesn't have to. Don't confuse the size of the sentiment with the size of the bill. If you do, you're in for a vey rude awakening some day. (Not to mention, any woman who only recognizes romantic gestures with a hefty price tag is really more interested in your checkbook than she is you.)




• From idiomatic:





• I'd sum it all up with this:

  Cherish her.

  From dictionary.com:

  1. To treat with affection and tenderness; hold dear: cherish one's family; fine rugs that are cherished by their owners.

  2. To keep fondly in mind; entertain: cherish a memory. See Synonyms at appreciate.

  If you *truly* cherish her, the rest will follow.





• Finally, look at this list, and MEMORIZE IT. Some can be ignored, depending on the woman. Feel free to add to it.
  Her Favorite:




• Color


• Flower


• Perfume


• Author


• Book


• Song


• Band/Musical Artist


• Kind of music


• Kind of ice cream


• Snack food


• Fast Food Joint


• TV Show


• Actor


• Actress


• Movie


• Broadway Play


• Musical


• Cartoon Character


• Sport to play


• Sport to watch


• Season


• Time of day


• Hobby


• Style of clothing


• Meal/Food


• Anything else you deem necessary to know.

There's MUCH more to it, but those are the basics that I like to follow, myself. Just a few more details, really.

The worst gift? Something meaningless.

The best gift? YOUR TIME.

Finally, remember this quote that I have always had in the back of my head:

When it all comes down to it, just enjoy yourself.

Express yourself.

Reveal yourself.

Share yourself.

Know yourself.

Love yourself.

Develop yourself.

Risk yourself.

Be yourself.

Give yourself.

...and that's about it. Ladies, have I forgotten anything, or maybe said something that isn't true? Men, have I said something that it completely bizarro, or crazy? Let me know! I enjoy being romantic, and I'm sure that, once some of you guys start doing so, you'll enjoy it too, as will your significant other.