Road Back Home @ MindSay

Work starts again for me in about three days, but will end abruptly about seven weeks from there. September will be uninteresting but October should prove to be lots of fun as I pack things up and ship things home. I am getting more and more excited about it as each day passes.

We had a meeting today, sort of a "back from vacation" thing. I got to see all of my co-workers and we got a chance to talk about this and that. I told some of them that I was going home in November and they seemed to think that was pretty cool... but the weird part is that many asked me when I was coming back. One in particular, an older, nice guy that I have spoken to on many occasions, had this dialogue with me:

"Going home in November? Must have found a new job huh? So when are you coming back to Japan then?"
"What?" I asked, "um, never. I'm going home for good."
He looked  at me, somewhat shocked, "Really? You don't want to come back? You want to live in America??"

As the word "America" was said there was a bit of a shiver to the guys voice. Like it's such a bad thing. It reminded me of how I used to think, and it made me realize just how proud I am now to be an American. Now mind you, I won't go waving the flag around, buying black velvet paintings of eagles crying or voting republican... I'm not that kind of American. But I will say I enjoy the freedom, the space and the general attitude of the country of my birth. It just took a little while for me to realize it.

Back to my conversation, I was then asked what I planned to do when I got home.
"Well, I plan on being with my family and friends."
"Well, what about your Japanese friends?"
I did tell the truth. I said "They'll be fine, I have all their info and they want to visit me in the states!" What I didn't mention is that not one of the friends I have made out here is actually Japanese. Sure, I met these new friends in Japan, but they are all sorts of backgrounds... Asian and European. But no Japanese. Not one. I know more Japanese people in America then I do in Japan. And that's another reason I want to go home.

"But what about all the things Japan has to offer?"
I started to feel like he was a spokesman for the Japanese Consulate of Foreign Workers or something. I basically said that it would be best for me to live in America. Both me and my girl would prefer it (yes, I had to explain how my girl is Japanese but born in America and likes The USA better and so do I etc...)
He digested what I told him for a moment and finally said "Well that's cool. I kinds wish I could move back sometimes too... but I haven't paid taxes in the USA for over 40 years. I really can't go back".

So now I understood the disdain. Still a pretty cool guy by my standards.
For me, Japan used to mean a freedom from everything that I was used to. No more mundane, day to day routine, but instead an exciting and interesting new world to explore. Now, it means nine hour work days, low pay, high taxes, people who are constantly "too busy" to do anything (I will explain that in more detail in a later post) and long, loooooong commute times.

America used to mean boredom, no opportunities and  stifling family members and friends that would keep me from doing what I wanted to do. It was too cushy, too easy, too drab. I needed to get away and do something on my own... but now, just like a painter stepping away from the easel, I can now see America for what it really is to me. Opportunities abound, free stuff all over the place, personal transportation so you can go wherever you want whenever you want, 24 hour everything, food from all around the world (and cheap), a house or very large apartment and most importantly, foreigners.

In America we are all in the same boat. We are all foreigners. America is this grand social experiment, and we've managed to all get along well enough to form one of the most powerful nations the world has ever seen. I love that I am a part of that. Anyone can be an American, but only natural born Japanese can be citizens in this country. I like our system better.

Anyways, I really do only have roughly 7 weeks of work left, so I'm going to spend most of that doing very little, especially after I give my notice of termination. This is going to be a sweet two months...

-Maru!

 

 

 

I love music, always have and always will. There is something about shedding your pains and picking up your joys and you can do both through music. I heard this song a couple months while I was driving home from work....it usually takes no more than 10 minutes to get home, but this day it took almost 20 minutes.

If you fast forward past the Steve Harvey intro I think you will enjoy it. The artist is very soulful and inspiring. As tears fell from my eyes I thought about what life had been for his family in comparison to my mothers and as horrible as I thought it was Mommy and Daddy went back home. They not only went back home on the river but they were able to take Moms mother.

There is one specific line "i held my breath when they diped my head and I came up shiny and knew"... that touched my more than others the realization that sometimes you not only have to let go and move on but remember what you have. I never thought Mississippi was meant for me, but I don't know how much longer it will be before I either move there to be with my parents or at least closer. Im ready to not only sit by the river but jump in for a dip and starting new.

    Well it is official, I have now driven through rush hour traffic on the freeways of Los Angeles (something I said I would never do!), the long stretch of desert on the way to Las Vegas, the Twisting roads of the Shasta Mountains and now this! We left for our trip to discovery bay on Sunday and the skies were gray and there was a bit of drizzle coming down, typical Seattle weather right?  Well, when I drove off the ferry on Bainbridge Island it started to snow!  Imagine my surprise as I drove a little further towards Poulsbo and the snow started coming down harder and harder as it began to blanket the road.  I am not usually one to drive in the snow, rain, sleet, wind?  Fine, I can do that but Snow?  Not so much.  We pulled over and had lunch at Azteca and just as we were finishing our food the power went off!  Luckily the lights went right back on as I believe they had a generator.  Whew! My Mom and I looked at each other and decided to stop for groceries in Poulsbo rather then waiting and going later on to Port Townsend the way we normally would.  So, we jammed all the groceries into the car along with my Dad, Jack and my Mom's new dog Georgie and made our way down the road. By the time we got out of the grocery store the snow had changed over to rain mixed with snow, I thought o.k. now big deal, it will start raining and everything will be fine. WRONG!  The further I drove the worse the roads got, there was snow and ice all over the roads, when I got to the highway heading towards Discovery Bay and Port Townsend it was even worse.  I was going 25 miles an hour on a road I would normally be cruising at 60.  Did I mention I don't usually do Snow let alone Ice?  Well, we went along like this for about 30 minutes and then what do you know? We drove out of it, by the time we reached Discovery Bay there was NO snow, NO Ice, just gray and drizzling again.  No, the story doesn't end there, I am sure by now many of you have heard about what is going on in Washington and Oregon with record rainfalls and hurricane like wind's.  That evening the rain started pouring down and the wind started blowing.  Jack and I were sleeping on the top floor (the place we stay is set up like a condo or town home a tri-level if you will.) and I woke up at 10 P.M. to howling winds, crashing waves, a serious storm was a brewing. I came downstairs for about an hour, called Matt to see what it was like back home and then tried to go back to sleep as he said it was just lightly raining at home.   The wind was so loud and strong I thought the windows would surely shatter! Jack in the meantime was sleeping like a rock.  I did this routine of up and down until about 4 A.M. when I just gave up and "tried" to go to sleep.  Needless to say when I got up the next morning I was tired and a little worried when I saw the news reports.  Flooding, homes lost, evacuations, really sad to see any time but especially so close to the holidays.  We had to cross the Hood Canal Bridge on the way to Discovery Bay and that bridge is famous for closing do to inclement weather.  I also saw that even portions of I-5 were shut down and both directions of 101 near my brother and sister in laws home in Shelton.  My Mom and I braved the weather and went into Port Townsend.  We, walked through the rain and the blustery wind and did our sight seeing and shopping.  My Dad called us because he hung back and played with Jack while we went out.  I made a yummy dinner and we had a really great last night there.  The trip back today?  Surprisingly uneventful.  The bridge was open and we crossed easily, the ferry?  Zero delays and we were towards the front of the line to get on.  All in all a pretty good trip.  I didn't get many pictures since the weather was so bad but hey we still made do and had a great time.  My heart goes out to all of those who are without power or even worse without their homes.  I am going to go through the house tomorrow and clean out our old coats, blankets, toys etc. and donate them to the Salvation Army.  I figure there is probably no better time then the present for something like that.  Well, that is all for now.  I hope this finds you all warm and dry! 

Directly after yesterday's post I guilt-tripped myself into doing a few things. First I started laundry, spiffed myself up so I felt better superficially and asked Savannah if she wanted to go for a bike ride. She was happy to oblige.

We went down the road and went to the cemetery. It has lovely hills and is so peaceful. We puffed up the steep hills and "weee'd" all the way down.



Afterwards we rode down to the park down by the river. Savannah monkeyed around on the playground set while I swung a bit. I sat down on the roots of an aging overgrown tree and watched the river and meditated. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bug drowning so I precariously stepped on the slippery rocks and rescued it. Just as I was about to land on the sandy shore I slipped and made a big "sploosh". As it said: No good deed goes unpunished! Haha.

My overall feelings earlier dissapated ever so slightly enough for me to enjoy the weather, the honking of the geese and other wildlife that took me away from it all.



Savannah and I walked further down by the river and explored a little more. We found that someone moved a picnic bench to the shore. I asked her if she wanted to come picnic here before the weather gets too bad. She was happy to hear that! :D


The geese were beginning to take off to nest down for the evening and I knew it was time for us to get going. Especially if we wanted to take the "hidden" road back. (Interesting enough in the picture those specks in the water are the reflection of the geese flying overhead.)


We started on our way home filled with the olfactoral bliss and sometimes stench of the river during the season of fall. The vibrance of these leaves stopped me dead in my tracks. Though it was low light and difficult to capture I managed to snap a clear picture and continued on our way.

Soon we were out of the park and on the trail that lead home. Very quickly I became aware of the bustling city that polluted the sonance that was once peace. It actually sent a shudder through my body. I wouldn't let it depress me no matter how heavy the emotion. I decided that the bike ride was something I wanted to share with others. I was happy to remember that I had my camera with and I could. So that is the resulting video.

The way the sunlight really feels
Burning through the longest afternoon
Slowly passing time demands
All that seems that I can stand
Silver wings can't get me there to soon...

Another day on this long road to where I know not. Looking back at where I've been is a somewhat strange thing to behold. If I had known how much my previous job had affected me in a negative way, I would've jumped ship long before I was asked to disembark. One never truly perceives how bad a situation is until one is far removed from it. The entire experience was much like a cancer that slowly but surely consumes the soul. At first one feels that the situation is not so bad and that it can be managed on one's own. But it only grows and grows until it reaches a point where it must be cut out or lest the soul shall die...

I am so very grateful that my salvation was forced upon me for I do not feel that I had the strength left to do it on my own. But such is the way my life has been, when in doubt something will happen. When faced with a fork in the road, just keep walking and there you shall be. For even if it is decided not to decide, a decision has been made. And I just keep walking all the while...

Now let's fast-forward three days, for this has become a long drawn out process - this Blog thang. An interesting thing it is that I call my life. I went hiking in the mountains - technically it was in the valleys for it consisted of hiking parallel to a river. The hike was good, good for the soul. And when it was all done on the drive home, I was behind a truck that I can assume was used for off-road excursions. And there it was, a sign. Of all the vehicles that were on all the roads that I traveled on that day, I had to be directly behind this particular truck at this particular time. And if I hadn't been directly behind it, I would've never noticed the words that were about one inch high and faded so the brown paint of the body showed through the white letters. And there it was before me, "NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST..." With the way in which my brain operates, it set off a flood of thoughts that went from the absurd to the sublime to concrete realization that yes this is the truth...

And so I wonder and wonder through my existence, and I know that I'm never lost for here I am and so shall I remain...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...