“Let Me Be There”- Olivia Newton-John
(This is Mine and James' Song. It was played at our wedding)

Wherever you go
Wherever you may wander in your life
Surely you know
I always wanna be there
Holding your hand
And standing by to catch you when you fall
Seeing you through
In everything you do

Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever's wrong and make it right
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there

Watching you grow
And going through the changes in your life
That's how I know
I always wanna be there
Whenever you feel you need a friend to lean on, here I am
Whenever you call, you know I'll be there

Let me be there in your morning
Let me be there in your night
Let me change whatever's wrong and make it right
Let me take you through that wonderland
That only two can share
All I ask you is let me be there


"Swayin' To The Music (Slow Dancin')" -Johnny Rivers

It's late at night and we're all alone
Just the music on the radio
No one's comin', no one's gonna telephone
Just me and you and the lights down low

And we're
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
Slow dancin', just me and my girl
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
No one else in the whole wide world
Just you, girl

And we just flow together when the lights are low
Shadows dancin' all across the wall
Music's playin' so soft and slow
Rest of the world so far away and small

When we're
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
Slow dancin', just me and my girl
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
No one else in the whole wide world

Hold me, Oh, oh, oh, hold me
No never let me go

As we dance together in the dark
So much love in this heart of mine
You whisper to me, hold you tight
You're the one I thought I'd never find

Now we're
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
Slow dancin', just me and my girl
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
No one else in the whole wide world

Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
Slow dancin', just me and my girl
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music
No one else in the whole wide world

Whole wide world
Just you girl...



Top of the World- The Carpenters

Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
                       (chorus)
 I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here

                        (Chorus)
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

                         (Chorus)
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world



Chances Are-Johnny Mathis

Chances are 'cause I wear a silly grin

The moment you come into view

Chances are you think that I'm in love with you

Just because my composure sort of slips

The moment that your lips meet mine

Chances are you think my heart's your Valentine

In the magic of moonlight when I sigh, "Hold me close, dear"

Chances are you believe the stars that fill the skies are in my eyes

Guess you feel you'll always be the one and only one for me

And if you think you could

Well, chances are your chances are awfully good

Chances are you believe the stars that fill the skies are in my eyes

Guess you feel you'll always be the one and only one for me

And if you think you could

Well, chances are your chances are awfully good

The chances are your chances are . . . awfully good

 "Fallin' In Love"-(Danny Hamilton and Ann Hamilton)-{Change man to woman and girl to boy and its my song}

Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again
Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again

I could never see what fate had planned for me
And then you came and made my dreams this man's reality
Maybe you can see all the things you've meant to me
But my simple fate is at the gate and girl you've got the key

Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again
Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again

It seems like yesterday you and I first loved this way
But now I know how love can grow with each and every day
As we lay at midnight's hour and feel love's hidden power
So strong and bold as life unfolds a mystery to me

Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again
Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again

You and me for eternity in love we'll always be
Young and free and naturally should be the way it's gotta be

Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again
Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again

Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again
Baby, baby, fallin' in love
I've fallin' in love again

TWELVETH OF NEVER- JOHNNY MATHIS

(this song was my parents song- it is engraved inside my Dad's wedding band)

You ask how much I need you
Must I explain
I need you oh my darling
Like roses need rain

You ask how long I'll love you
I'll tell you true
Until the twelfth of never I'll still be loving you

Hold me close
Never let me go
Hold me close
Melt my heart like April snow

I'll love you 'till the blue bells forget to bloom
I'll love you 'till the clover has lost its perfume
I'll love you 'till the poets run out of rhyme

Until the twelfth of never
And that's a long long time
Until the twelfth of never
And that's a long long time




Amazed -Lonestar
Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time every time
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you





Mr. Mom -Lonestar

Lost my job, came home mad
Got a hug and kiss and that's too bad
She said I can go to work until you find another job
I thought I like the sound of that
Watch TV and take long naps
Go from a hard working dad to being Mr. Mom

Well
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr. Mom

Football, soccer and ballet
Squeeze in Scouts and PTA
And there's that shopping list she left
That's seven pages long
How much smoke can one stove make
The kids won't eat my charcoal cake
It's more than any man can take
Being Mr. Mom

Well
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the sixteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr.Mom

Before I fall in bed tonight
If the dog didn't eat the classifieds
I'm gonna look just one more time

'Cause
Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the eighteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long
Oh been crazy all day long and it's only Monday
Mr.Mom

Balancin' checkbooks, juggling bills
Thought there was nothing to it
Baby, now I know how you feel
What I don't know is how you do it

Honey, you're my hero






All My Love For Christmas-Lonestar

It don't jingle like a jingle bell
It ain't made by a bunch of elves
It don't come from the old North Pole
Can't be delivered by a Ho-Ho-Ho

What it is
Your gonna love it
You can't get to much of it
Here's the package baby open it up
I'm givin' you all my love for Christmas
I'm givin' you all my love

You won't find it underneath the tree
You can't buy it with a roll of green
It's the thing that makes life worth living
It's the gift that just keeps on giving

What it is
Your gonna love it
You can't get to much of it
Here's the package baby open it up
I'm givin' you all my love for Christmas
I'm givin' you all my love

Yeah what it is
Your gonna love it
You can't get to much of it
Here's the package baby open it up
I'm givin' you all my love... for Christmas
I'm givin' you all my love for Christmas
I'm givin' you all my love






I Can Only Imagine-MercyMe

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you




Inside Your Heaven-Carrie Underwood

I've been down
Now I'm blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess its right, it's so amazing
Everytime I see you I'm alive
You're all I've got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When we touch, when we love
The stars light up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally, my soul surrenders
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
And I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
If mountains fall, I'll still be here
Holdin you until the day I die
And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven
Oh yes I do
I wanna be inside your heaven


The Eagle and The Hawk-John Denver
I am the eagle, I live in high country
In rocky cathedrals that reach to the sky
I am the hawk and theres blood on my feathers
But time is still turning they soon will be dry
And all of those who see me, all who believe in me
Share in the freedom I feel when I fly

Come dance with the west wind and touch on the mountain tops
Sail oer the canyons and up to the stars
And reach for the heavens and hope for the future
And all that we can be and not what we are




Foxfire-John Denver
Spring is alive
In Carolina
Deep in the forest
Where the foxfire glows
High on a mountain
Down in a holler
Thunder and lightning
So it goes

Over a hundred years ago
We came to Carolina
Far across the water
It??s a long hard road

With little more than courage
We came seeking independence
A little less than nothin??
Is a heavy load

From the heather of the highlands
We have found the Smokie Mountains
Hard work and simple ways
And life is good
life is good

Spring is alive
In Carolina
Deep in the forest
Where the foxfire glows
High on a mountain
Down in a holler
Thunder and lightning
So it goes

You Are

You are every morning sunrise
You are every rain
You are every peal of laughter
You are every cry of pain

You are all the summer flowers
You are all the falling leaves
You are everyone rejoicing
You are everyone who greaves

You are all my unknown secrets
You are all my hidden fears
You are known in lover??s kisses
You are seen in childhood tears
You are where the stars are shining
You are where the rainbow ends
You are why the war is over
You are how the peace begins

Whisper the Wind

Whisper the wind over the water
Whisper the wind all through the night
Whisper the wind along the canyon
Whisper the wind into the night

Whisper the wind Brothers and sisters
Whisper the wind all the same
Whisper the wind love one another
Whisper the wind your precious name

Spring Is Alive (Reprise)

Spring is alive
In Carolina
Deep in the forest
Where the foxfire glows
High on a mountain
Down in a holler
Thunder and lightning
So it goes

Over a hundred years ago
We came to Carolina
Far across the water
It??s a long hard road

With little more than courage
We came seeking independence
A little less than nothin??
Is a heavy load

From the heather of the highlands
We have found the Smokie Mountains
Hard work and simple ways
And life is good
life is good

Spring is alive
In Carolina
Deep in the forest
Where the foxfire glows
High on a mountain
Down in a holler
Thunder and lightning
So it goes




Country Roads,Take Me Home-John Denver
Almost heaven, West Virginia,
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.
Life is old there, older than the trees,
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze.
Country Roads, take me home,
To the place I belong:
West Virginia, mountain momma,
Take me home, country roads.

All my mem'ries, gather 'round her,
Miner's lady, stranger to blue water.
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky,
Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye.


Country Roads, take me home,
To the place I belong:
West Virginia, mountain momma,
Take me home, country roads.

I hear her voice, in the mornin' hours she calls me,
The radio reminds me of my home far away.
And drivin' down the road,
I get a feelin' that I should have been home yesterday,
Yesterday.

Country Roads, take me home,
To the place I belong:
West Virginia, mountain momma,
Take me home, country roads.

Take me home, country roads.
Take me home, down country roads.





Sunshine on My Shoulders-John Denver
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high

If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today.
If I had a song that I could sing for you.
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile.
If I had a wish that I could wish for you.
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.
Sunshine almost always make me high

Sunshine almost all the time makes me high.
Sunshine almost always

Jim and I were is separate cars because we were going to canoe the lower tualatin and ferry ourselves from the take out point back up river. So I was alone. Stopped at an intersection and some trucker behind me decided I should move up another six feet to fill in every gap in the traffic line. I wasn’t preventing him from making a turn or keeping on railroad tracks. He just abhorred a vacuum  in traffic… so he started honking at me. I ignored him.

 

AT the next intersection we again were stopped at a light. The was a well groomed middle aged  man wearing khaki’s and a polo shirt holding a small sign that said “Help—lost my wallet- out of gas”. I hailed him over and emptied the few dollar change I had in my wallet into his hand while he thanked  me. The trucker behind me was going berserk by this time, honking and gesturing.

 

We turned onto a another street and now the trucker was staying about three feet from my rear fender giving me the finger and not exactly the image of zen kindness. I decided to pull over to the shoulder and let him pass nut he stops too. SO what’s a girl to do? I start blasting my horn loudly and repeatedly calling attention to myself  and hoping that some one nearby in a park will take notice. This is enough for the nut and he finally takes off.

 

When I get to the park where we are going to take out  the canoe to join my husband and drive upstream with the boat he admonishes me for helping a professional beggar.

 

Okay I say.. so what? Better to lose 2.50 to someone than  ignore the needs of someone who might possibly actually need a little bit of money to get home safely. If given the choice in this situation I would rather be a sucker than a cynic. As for the road rage trucker, his high blood pressure is gonna take decades off his life.  And me? We had  a great trip down the river: saw deer and kingfishers and many mallard families and even a piliated woodpecker.

We went for a ride this afternoon after church and after the gentleman came and bought the window a/c that I listed on craigslist...I have sold everything but 2 things I listed-hubby's compound bow and the talking/singing deer head, lol! Go figure... Maybe I should list them BOTH together, haha.. thats it, I will list FREE TALKING SINGING KARAOKE DEER when you buy this compound bow. Hey..it may work! LOL!  I'll let you know.. snickerschuckles.

 

On the way home from checking out a different RV park near where hubby hunts going up towards Athens GA, I saw the sign for the covered bridge that I had read about awhile ago. It was a beautiful creek, with a nice little trail along the edge of it, that I hope to go back one day and explore. It reminds me of a river in NY that I grew up along and spent many healing hours near. It also had a one lane bridge, not covered, but it was a sweet spirit that brought back many memories.

 

I am a little out of breath when I was talking, as we just walked back up the hill from the rocks in the water. Anyone ever see a orange spotted mushroom before? I haven't. See pic below.

 

everything was so great yesterday! i got so much done, and had such a great time doing it! I smiled the whole day, and it just felt so great to be alive! Haha, i did throw up twice, but that was nothing... nasty soup...

Well i woke up and fixed me something to eat, and then i washed the dishes and cleaned my room and washed my clothes and sheets :) and then me and my step-mom went to Farmfresh where i bought some good apple juice, pinapple juice, herbal teas, milk, and i also got some DXM... ( i know i know, that ruins my whole "all natural" thing...) then from there we went to go pick up my step-brother from work, and then on to my dad's store so that i could get my camera back! my grandpa got it back from the cops and gave it to my dad for me... that made me so happy right there :D but then we rode home and i was still all happy, and my D was kickin in... (i only took a small dose too, so it wasn't like i was trying to get wasted, just wanted a little "glow" to everything :) ) when we got home i help my step-mom unpack the groceries and went back outside, and then my step-brother decided it was a great day to go fishing... hell yes! i thought, and jump on the oprotunity to take some pictures and get out with nature on such a great day! so we loaded up and went down to my family's lot by the Little River here in NC... there we cought fish and told/listened to stories and just relaxed... i cought the first fish and oh was he a whopper :P (not really) it was such a great place, with the trees all around and the water, and the fish jumping and birds chirping (and squawking) i just felt so at peace... the fish that we cought mostly got threw back, but we kept a few for Zack's pond he build in the back yard, and now we have some new pets! When we got back i chilled with Zack outside and talked a little while and then went inside, there i called my up coming prom date Mary and we talked about an hour... i told her what was going on and she understood, and she is coming to get me friday so that i can be her wonderful prom date :) this will be the second prom i've been too, and sadly possibly my last, but i was never too into the whole social scene in high-shcool, so it never really bothered me... but i'm also looking forward to a great time with her...

all in all it was a wonderful day, and i can't stress more than how it just feels so good to be alive... that was so what i needed and as things are going i should keep getting happier, and more back to the real me... i do have a few photos to share with you all...



this is some great fucking apple jucie man, its that stuff that i was talking about getting... its pretty expensive, at about 1.2 dollars a piece, but i think it is worth, all natural, not from concentrate, and carbonated... gets that nice soda fizz with some all natural juice... sooo good...



this is the lot that my family owns... well my step-mom's family, but i'm in there too :D it was a great day, not too cold, and a little windy, just how i like it...



this is us riding in my step-brother's truck on the way to the lot, i think it is a damn good picture of us, and one of the first ones i've ever had, so it is indeed special :)



this is me and my wonderful new fishie friend! yeah i know, he's a little shrimp, but oh well, it was still fun to catch him :) he is in the care of Zack now... (that might not be a good thing though :-S)



and this is Zack letting our 3 new pets out of their bucked and into his pond he build... he did all the work there himself so if you think it is nice, give him props! and i'll spread the word :)

well thats that, and wow... let me tell you i feel so good to be alive... fuck all the bullshit... everything has a way of turning out right in the end...

I believe yesterday was the first time I'd taken my bike out this year. I could definitely be wrong on that, but my muscles have informed me that if it wasn't the first, it was probably the second.

Snarfed my mom's mp3 player again. You're really, really not supposed to go biking while wearing headphones. You need to be able to hear things like traffic, and in my case, the noises your bike makes. However, if I can hear myself, I'll panic about another attack. I'm attempting to use logic on my mental processes - prove to myself that I can do this distance enough times when I can't hear myself, and I should be able to do it when I can.

Hills. Ay. I'd been planning on a long loop, and I could either take the hills at the beginning or the end of it. I chose the beginning. They're not really that bad - I just haven't been biking for a long time. And I need to retire this beast.

I made it out about three miles, and went off on a farm driveway to take a break by the river that names this region. Flipped my music player back into my backpack, snarfed my waterbottle. Picked my way across the big chunks of rock to find a decent place to sit and watch the water.

Maybe we're naturally drawn to water, because it's what composes most of us. Maybe it's the coolness, the depth that would comfort and hold us if we were to choose it as our resting place. Maybe it's just knowing that we need it to survive. And maybe, in my case, it's because we had a pool when I was little, and I was kicking in my little styrofoam-floaty-ring in the water before I could walk.

The cars sing by overhead, making the bridge hum for a moment. A swallow swoops out from underneath, and returns to the other side of a supporting pillar. There's a marker on the main support to show how deep the river is. It's high, but not flooding. Deadwood has gathered up against the concrete and the bank, and it will probably be there until the next spring flood.

I was slightly disappointed this year. Usually, the brook that runs through my backyard floods rather nicely, and the floor of the basin at the end of my street will be under six inches of water in a high year. This year, spring was too indecisive, letting little bits of snow win free at a time, so the waters have only swelled.

It used to be that I'd sing to myself, hearing my voice ring under a bridge and the water, knowing that no one could hear me, but being happy in my own sound. Now, I'm less the performer, and more the watcher - watching the river swirl by.

I realize that I'm looking for the point where it repeats - like an applet. I'll stare at one crest for a minute, looking for the exact point where it repeats something it did before. It's how we know that something's not real, and how we reassure ourselves that we're in a controlled environment. I need to get out of the house more - I've spent too much time with my computer.

I ponder for a minute that when I'm confronted with something God's created, I naturally turn to try to find some evidence that it's something we created. The thought startles me, and I relax from my search and simply enjoy the morning and the river, thanking God for both..

The water unfurls out of the shadows into the sunlight. Even when it's muddy, it's incredibly inviting. I can't see water without wanting to be in it - but I'm well aware that it's freezing, and floodwater has all sorts of nastiness hiding in it. It'd be about waist-deep for me here, and I fantasize rolling and rollicking through the water as an otter. I'd love to be an otter - you should all go watch Ring of Bright Water.

I let my gaze rest on the swirling current, the tiny little crests. Thinking of everything and nothing, and something in between, but I'll remember none of it later. The opposite bank seems unnaturally still - it's somehow not right. The river's flow is what's natural. Life is ever-changing, death is static.

It bothers me, but I refuse to admit it. The swallow swoops back in under the bridge, and flies back out again. I watch the river, thinking.