Ritalin @ MindSay 
I was wondering about my grade school years. I am self-diagnosed ADD/ADHD and mildly dyslexic. And I have struggled with these all my life. I don't know if my parents ever had me tested for these. I think they might have. But then again my childhood was full of doctors ranging for heart doctors to specialist for my birth defects. Also, I have in many ways either forgotten or blocked out most of my childhood so how am I to know.
I do know that my parents mad a conscientious decision to not put me on the drug Ritalin heavily being pushed back then. I know now that that was one of the hardest decisions they ever made with me. I also, know now that it probably was the right thing for my future.
but back then, It made my school years very very hard. I did next to nothing in school. A few of my teachers all but gave up on me (teachers will tell you they don't do this but we all know they do).
I kind of wish my parents would have sat me down and told me about my conditions and explained to me what and why I was the way I was. I wish they had explained to me ways to control it. They probably didn't so that I could just have a bit of my childhood innocence in tact.
They never gave up though, I'll give them that much, they got me tutors (well actually, paid my cousin to tutor me) and put in long frustrating hours working with me.
I knew that there was something wrong, but mostly just felt stupid. I felt isolated from my peers because I could barely do things like basic math. And this lead to so negative behaviors.
Growing up, I had a relationship with my parents, especially my father, that was very stern and controlling. I never felt I could go to him about problems. He was very distant and unapproachable emotionally. The only emotion I ever saw from him was anger. I was very afraid of his temper. I was afraid that he would react with anger if I went to him about anything. My mother has even said to me that my father wanted us to fear him.
I'm still dealing with some of those issues today, but mostly I know how foolish they were. But, I wonder and wish about how my life could have been.
Like I said, My parents decision to not medicate me for ADD was a good thing. I know a number of people form my generation that can not function in society because they never learned how to deal with life without popping a pill. I am so glad that I did not end up like them. But was I diagnosed ADD and what would it have been like if I knew what was wrong with me fifteen years ago? I may not have been medicated but there are a number of was to handle ADD without it. But did we even know them back then?
I often think about my fucked up life. About all the mistakes I've made and where I am because of them. It has taken me much longer then most people to figure my life and and get my shit together. I know, most of it is my own damned fault and blaming my father is just plain wrong. But I just can't help but wonder.
Mark
I am really going to die
I forgot to mention what else I found out in FYE today
My heart is probably fucked up... which is sad.
I was on Ritalin for four years of my life and Aderall for one. I have been on these medications a forth of my life. I eventually told my parents that I was no longer going to take them. Which is good because "There is also the open issue of another 26 deaths between 1969 and 2003 in medicated ADHD patients involving suicide, intentional overdose, drowning, heat stroke, and underlying diseases."
It turns out that an FDA Advisory Committee released information yesterday about Ritalin and Aderall both cause serious heart problems. People wonder why I'm paranoid of medications; well, kids this is it. This stuff has to be pretty bad because as we all know, the U.S. FDA is in the pockets of drug companies.
"In what many experts are viewing as an unusual turn of events, an FDA advisory panel has voted to recommend that the agency order the inclusion of the most serious “black box” warning on all stimulant ADHD medications due to evidence of a potential risk of heart attacks, strokes, and sudden death. The drugs include amphetamines, such as Adderall, and methylphenidates, sold as Ritalin, Concerta, Methylin, and Metadate."
EVIDENCE OF A POTENTIAL RISK OF HEART ATTACKS, STROKES, AND SUDDEN DEATH
These medication have been directly linked to "...25 deaths that occurred between 1999 and 2003. Of these deaths, 19 involved children. In addition, the FDA was advised of 54 cases involving serious cardiovascular problems like heart attacks, strokes, hypertension, heart palpitations and arrhythmias in both adults and children taking these medications."
Maybe Tom Cruise wasn't so wrong about ritalin after all!
Only one person knows this about me, and that's Em, but I sometimes get chest pains. The worst one I ever had was working at Quiznos and I felt like I had a mini heart attack. It was like I swallowed a sock and then someone stabbed me in the chest with a knife. It hurt so bad. I almost dropped a two gallon tub of broccoli and cheese soup; luckily, I set it down when I felt the sock because the knife brought me to my knees.
The worst part is that the FDA is so in the pockets of drug companies that instead of doing what the advisory committee says to, they said this...
"Such warnings could unreasonably deter patients and doctors from using a drug that could benefit them," said Robert Temple, MD, director of medical policy at the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research. He stated: “The absence of bona fide problems in your hand pushes against the box. We will also, frankly, worry about the possibility that overstatement can do active harm.”
Is this guy serious? Let's take a final look at what he considers an overstatement "EVIDENCE OF A POTENTIAL RISK OF HEART ATTACKS, STROKES, AND SUDDEN DEATH"
Apparently, Tom Cruise has taken himself off of his meds. What is his problem lately? Here are some quotes from his latest interview with Matt Lauer from the Today Show.
Friday when Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants. Cruise told Lauer he didn't know what he was talking about. "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do," Cruise said.
The interview became more heated when Lauer, who said he knew people who had been helped by the attention-deficit disorder drug Ritalin, asked Cruise about the effects of the drug.
"Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib," Cruise responded. "You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done."
Well, I guess Tom Cruise figures JOURNALISTS don't have to do research. I'm feeling kind of stupid right now because I spent 5 years in college studying psychology and all Tom Cruise had to do was read a few research papers to become a full fledged expert.