Reunited @ MindSay

Well, as you know I got to meet my grandma on my dad's side last Saturday. It went really really well. Me and my grandma got lost finding it but we found it eventually. When we pulled up to the apartment building I saw this little old lady sitting outside with her walker. I knew it was her for a fact. I jumped up out of the car almost as if I had ants in my pants or something. I ran over to her and gave her a huge hug that lasted forever. This moment was long over due for me. We talked a little bit, and I went back to the car to grab her senior picture for her along with a prom picture of me. We get inside her apartment and of course my grandma started getting teary eyed. I wasnt I was just overwhelmed and excited. We sat down and I showed her my picture album of pictures of me growing up with my brother. After small talk she brought up my biological dad. I knew deep down it was going to happen sooner or later. I guess what he did after shit went down with my family went further with his mom, brother, and other neices and nephews.

I found out my dad is a psycho. Worse than Jackyll and Hyde. If he took his medication like he is suppose to you couldnt ask for a better guy. But of course he is ornry from what I heard. I found out he tryed commiting suicide a bunch of times in his life but never suceeded. I found out that at one point in his life he went outside completely naked, jumped in his car and drove around to this neighborhood, got out and asked people door to door if they had any sheep. I found out one time in my life the night he got kicked out of the house here, he left in a jacket in mid july with a vacuum hose and sat on the side of the road with it hooked up from his exhaust to his window with the car completely sealed and he was found by a stranger and they called 911. I found out my mom and dad were suppose to get married but he was way to psycho and he just didnt care about me nor my brother. I found out he is a hypochondriac who is addicted to prescribed drugs from the doctors. I found out he didnt care that my grandpa Tom died back in 2006 due to lung cancer and kidney failure. I found out he threw major temper tantrums as in destroying the house if my grandpa Tom didnt have the kind of coffee he wanted. I also found out he slit his wrists open in front of my cousins when they were little. He did a bunch of other stuff too but im keeping that confidential.

When we got to my cousin's graduation party and after I met them for the first time in my life, my uncle greg started talking about my dad. You could tell the more he talked about him the more he got angered and did things alot quicker. when I found out about the things he did I felt ashamed of myself for the fact that I came from him. I cant believe my mom actually slept with him to get me. I have a feeling she was extra desperate at the time. The information is still slowly sinking in. I cry every now and then about it but I quickly get over it because its nothing to fret about really. Im just thankful that I did not inherit his sickness. If I ever had a thought in my head about what he probably had, I would either shoot myself or get help immediately. I dont ever want to turn out like him. I feel ashamed enough to hear that I have his eyes, smile, height, and nose. Pretty much everything. Everybody tells me I look like my mom but the more I look at this one picture of him, im pretty much the girl version of him all over again. Physically that is, not mentally. He is currently the last person on earth I want to meet. In fact I never want to meet him in my life. To think that his problem is, is that he is so smart that he is insane. He was on the honor roll back in high school and he always landed great jobs from what I heard. But that was his problem, he was way too smart. I also learned he does have the money to pay for child support, he just doesnt do it. He got kicked out of Minnesota and also kicked out of Florida but he went back to Florida anyways.

When I got home that night all I could do is cry about everything. I was happy but sad at the same time. It was a mixture of emotions at the time. Thinking about it now just tears me up inside knowing he was a psycho. Still is as far as everybody knows. Nobody has contact with him and if he is to ever set foot into somebody's house on my dad's side or my side even, the cops are to be called. Nobody wants anything to do with him. Cant blame them either. Im one of them. If I had to pick between trusting Charles Manson or him I would trust charles manson alot more. Ide feel alot more comfortable if he was my dad rather than Mike being my dad to be honest. I guess I can honestly say that I am the seed of chucky, but im the nicer one and not the psycho.

baby, 

it seems the days are passing at a snail's pace, but i am consoled by the fact that we'll be seeing each other very soon.  when i talk to you today,  it was so nice. the smooth melodic tones of your voice calm and soothe me.

today i was telling my daughter about our first date. she thought the story was cute. especially the part about how i asked God to send my soulmate wearing a purple colored shirt. months maybe even a year or two later, there you were showing up in my life with a shirt that was not only purple but also my favorite shade of green too. *giggles* then after that first date, i told God if you were really my soulmate you'd wear an orange shirt on our second date. to my surprise, you showed up wearing an orange shirt. funny! i still didn't believe it, but it definitely got my attention.

you were so sweet. the perfect gentleman in everyway. you claim to not be that way in your writings but that's all you've ever shown me.

when we started dating the second time, i was very skeptical and distrusting . because of that i was very mean to you. i remember meeting at that restaurant, after not seeing you for a whole year. you approached me with a smile so big. you reached out your hand for mine with such confidence. my red alert went off....i didn't want to be hurt by you with your poetic words that melted my heart the first go round. i was going to be cautious and vigilantly protect my heart.

we entered the restaurant. as always, very politely, you opened the door for me, pulled out my chair and ordered my wine. i was determined not to be taken in by any of it. then, you kissed me as if i gave you an invitation. that's when i decided i had to be even more wary of you. you could not be trusted.  i decided you only wanted one thing. you made it through the dinner. i don't know how, but you did.

for months you pursued me. every time you warmed my heart in any way i pushed you away even more. i was determined not to fall for you. you wrote many a poem for me, sent countless bouquets of flowers, took me to the most wonderful places. yes, you wined and dined me. you shared your passion for motorcycles with me, your love of nature, and your heart while i rejected you time and time again. i couldn't risk a broken heart.

i told myself how we weren't compatible and didn't want to believe a word you said or a thing you did was sincere. i had to protect my heart.

but you...

didn't give up easily. you were persistent.  time and time again i told you to go away. you always came back to me. then, after months and months of trying, i saw it in your eyes and heard it in your tone. you had grown tired and you were about to give up. that's when i knew i didn't want to be without you. i held your hand and hoped that all the words i couldn't say would be felt when we kissed. since that day, we've gotten closer and closer. no more break-ups. i wanted you to know that i wanted you with me.

there was only one time after that day , i thought of walking away from what we had, but i couldn't. even though i felt you had disappointed  me so, i couldn't walk away. you asked for my forgiveness  and i forgave only because i didn't want to be without you. in response, you thanked me and told me that you owed me a life time for keeping our love alive.

now in less than a month, we'll be husband and wife. it's been a journey neither of us will forget and i am so happy you never let me completely walk away.

i am looking forward to many years of loving you and being good to you.

your soon to be Mrs. ,

--eclecticsunrise

brace yourselves people i have in this post the material that fluffy romances and or smutty erotic novels are made of:P

i still can't believe it happened to me of all people. i seriously am still goo over it, a pile of blissful goo.

but i guess i should start from the begining. yesterday night me and my parents (yeah i know im such a loser spending friday with my parents but you know what...shut up) were on our way to go to my uncles for a bonfire (which was kickass btw) but first we went to get a bite to eat, my dad went in to get us a table while me and my mom just talked outside for a bit (nothing special) and then we went in well what i see renders me, the woman of words completely speechless. my dad is sitting their chatting with a man at the next table over but neither my father or the man took my breath away it was the teenage boy beside him.

ok just for a time out you know in like animes or romance stories how the guys are literally IMPOSSIBLY hot? that's what this guy was. the typical Italian teenage boy with thick black hair that you just itch to play with, the glasses that actually WORK for him and i mean WORK and when he smiled at me i think i might have drooled...

but ANYWAYS so my dad notices me and my mom had come in and he's like "Girls, you remember the (making up the name here umm...) Barbieri's?" (oh yeah good italian surname making up skills fireflower) and then i remember. this family we knew from one of my brother's old hockey teams and the IMPOSSIBLY hot italian guy in front of me was on my brother's team and i remember was NOT this hot five years ago when i had last seen him. and my first thought (stupidly) was the first words that came from my mouth after staring at him.

'you've grown up.' i was starting to mentally slap myself for being so well weird until he looked me over (in the POLITE way all you pervs out there) and smiled. his response still blows my mind.

'so have you.'

i literally almost DIED and you know what at that point i would have been completely happy to ust die right there. isn't it JUST the lines that romance novels are made of 'two friends have to part early on in life but then later they get a second chance but wait is their more than friendship afoot?'.

but sadly i have to leave you now and until next time i'll be lying, in a puddle of goo, in my field of fireflowers.

Off to retrieve phsbum from camp!  I'm sure she'll have plenty to say once she re-adjusts to reality!  Until then ... for your amusement and laughing pleasure ...

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.

"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"

"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.

The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."