Resolutions @ MindSay 
new year
I wish I were more consistent about this blogging thing.
Anyway, all regrets aside. It is a New Year! I really like making resolutions. It quickly evolves into my resolutions basically proclaiming that I am going to improve each and every aspect of my life. I will be a new, more perfect person as the year breaks. This never happens. I do pretty well; I have largely eliminated procrastination as a vice and this year I am kicking ass on the working out and eating better, but I don't think Dec 31st will ever come and I'll be content to not make any changes. But thats not the way we work, is it?
So far I have been really successful about the eating/working out. I am even enjoying it a little. I've started interval training, which goes a little something like this:
Begin workout. This of course requires at least 20 minutes of heavy internal wrangling, talking myself into taking the step of putting on the shoes, the sports bra and walking to the gym room. The hardest part is usually getting up off the couch. Which is why that book titled "So and So Gets Up Off the Couch" is a great title. I think of that a lot during the internal wrangling. It's like in the morning, when you KNOW you have to get up and go to work, but the bed is warm, and sleep is nice, so you struggle and push things until the last minute, then you run with wet hair to your car because your late.
After about 3 minutes of light peddling or jogging, I kick it up a notch to a 7. I last for about 30 seconds, and then I collapse back into a slog, thoroughly exhausted. Repeat, adding intensity until I am peddling at a 9, ready to die and take everyone with me until the stupid digital clock ticks over and tells me how far I've gone, and I can stop, and relax. For a minute and a half, and then the process begins all over again.
I will be happier when it is nicer outside, and I can run. Running in the cold makes me feel like a badass, but it also makes me feel like crap. If I can tough out the working out in the cold, then when spring comes it'll be soo easy, and I'll be thin and won't have any problems, ever again. I'll get to stop making resolutions!
Doubtful. Probably not even desirable, really.
Started out pretty smooth too. Until I got about four blocks and the cramps in my side set in... with that little burning sensation in my lungs from two years of atrophy combined with nights uber frigid air (I'm sure the rum I had earlier didn't really aid the situation as well).
I'm telling you, I've seen rusty '87 Honda Civics with multi-colored doors leaving a black, oily wake run more smooth than I did.
Run for three blocks, walk for one, run for four blocks, walk for two, run for three blocks, walk for two. Ha! Fifteen minutes later and probably only about 2/3 a mile I walk in all sweaty. Eesh... I know I need to lose about 15-20 lbs, but man... who'd a thought it could really weigh down on ya.
I'm not giving up on the rum though! Ohhhh no! Take my dignity, take pride, but by god leave me my corked wonders!
A lot of people I know got really sick with the flu over Christmas. I avoided that, but now I've got a sore throat and a cough. It's pretty mild, fortunately, and I intend to keep it that way if at all possible.
So... I don't really make resolutions, mainly because I know myself well enough to know that I'm not likely to keep them just because I made some silly oath at the turn of the year.
Nevertheless... there are some things I want to do this year. In no particular order, here they are:
- Get a new bike to replace the one that was stolen... this time, with a much better lock.
- Lose the weight I've put on since September (about 20 pounds, dammit), and more.
- Finish the first draft of my latest novel... and hopefully figure out a title for it, soon.
- Read more often. And for more than just researching the novel.
- Exercise. At all.
Hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year's Eve!
Firstly though, I hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year <3
Everything is in chronological order but hardly sounds logical. A few names have been omitted at times to cover for the guilty. You can ask questions on the less straight-forward points or for clarification (as everything runs in to each other) but I'm not sure I'll answer them . . . publicly, anyway.
It's also not very interesting, but here we go:
January:
I wanted to make a salad for dinner and it upset my father. I found out some of my old friends from high school had a small party and didn't bother to invite me. One of our cats, Phil, almost died from a UTI, but we saved him. :] I had some psychotic moments. Enver made this, the most amazing thing ever. I had some of the same mental issues I still have. I started working seven nights a week again, for a bit. I was sick for forever and my mother, Magen, and Anthony all threatened me and told me I wasn't allowed to die. My favorite and I started getting back on track. I still used AIM to talk to Enver. <3 I had that one really weird and creepy Saturday night. I almost went through with something that would've been weird today. Homeboy almost ruined my friendship with Jill, but I barely knew him then. RENT announced its final Broadway show. :[ She started getting bad. I realized he was in my heart, but not like that. My mother turned 38 :] I took some quiz and rated my life as a 4.8 out of 10 . . . I'm taking that shit again. RIP HEATH LEDGER <3 I was a pussy little bitch. I fretted, but only a little. I always wanted it.
February:
I tried but he never showed, and it was alright. Mostly. I celebrated my four year blogversary <3 The Superbowl happened, and for the first time ever my family had some weird pre-game party. I hated my father a lot. Conveniently, it was his birthday. I was on my period every two weeks. "You just killed it." <3 I was a selfish little bitch. Everyone thought Matt and I were constantly having sex (we weren't ever). Seriously, February ALWAYS sucks for me. I fretted way way way more. I got my first blister on the inside of my lip from being too rough, lmao. I hated school (surprise, surprise). He fucking overdosed. "And when you fight with your dad tonight, don't yell back. Just listen." I guess I really really worried about her. But he didn't die. Brandon had a birthday this year and I didn't care, but I found out the other one was alright. Somewhere in this month I went back down to 6 nights a week.
March:
I purchased Taste of Chaos early enough to get the VIP. <3 Kris would've turned 19. They thought about breaking up, hah. I realized what I missed and what I loved about us. Bought myself something fun ;) I was upset about Matt leaving. I was stalked at Wal-Mart. We were amazing, and have only gotten better. RIP KRIS <3 Matt left :[ I took my first pregnancy test, though there were no signs at all that I should've been worried (it was negative, of course). FUCKING TASTE OF CHAOS <33333 I started working 7 nights a week again, and have been ever since. Matt visited :] I went to the Dali Museum :]
April:
I turned 19. I had fucking amazing birthday sex. I went all emo again afterward. Apparently, I had a sex dream about Mikey but I don't remember it at all, lmfao. I stressed over school. Dan caught us. SO EMBARRASSING. "I feel like we never even really knew her." Sex was just always a better idea than school. I seriously found "the one," but I pushed him out of my life because I couldn't deal with myself. Plus, it wasn't fair because of him. Bought pit tickets for Projekt Rev <3 Danity Kane's "Damaged" was just so damn addicting <3 It was his birthday and his girlfriend had his phone :X I hate April 28th, but shopping with Jill made it better.
May:
I still was all depressive and emo WTF. He chose me over her. We hired a new "phone girl," except she was like 50. It kept getting better. Jill thought I tried to fuck Brent and she was JEALOUS, lmao. I passed out on the road. Flobots <333 Nothing ruined that amazing feeling :] Until the next day, that is. They played Geri X on either Local Motion or Tasty Fresh, weird. I had a day off, after working 56 nights in a row. I was so mad at him for freaking out on her. Why was I freaking out so damn much all the fucking timeeee?
June:
Cas deleted her blog again and made me sad. :[ I was upset because I was dumb and felt like I didn't have real friends. I didn't mean to hate her, but she messed everything up (until it righted itself). I started being more open on Mindsay again, and I think that really helped :] I wrote something :O His abs cramped up. I always park in the same parking spot, then and now. I read an article that oral sex can cause throat cancer, lol. My eyebrows will never look bad again <3 This month was great, because I took action. I wanted to not be psychotic, so I made an effort to change. And it's worked (with the occasional snag ;)) :] More amazing nights that really haven't stopped <3 Kim moved to Massachusetts. I thought everything was going to change, and it ended up changing for the better! Matt visited again <3 Brent broke up with Autumn :O They broke up too, finally.
July:
I cut my hair! I hung out with Magen! I got a tattoo! I put my past behind me. I updated everything. At first I thought ours was a bad change, but no no no. I saw TJ :] I didn't "just show up" to his party, and I hated that. Rachel took off of work for her cramps, the pussy bitch. I blamed myself. I felt so guilty. I was finally usually happy. Mikey, Sami, Alex and I went to see THE DARK KNIGHT <33333 I started my walks. We began to plan Busch Gardens <3 Matt didn't believed that I missed him :[ Enver and I had our three year anniversary <3 I was hit on by an old friend and spent the entire night pretending I didn't notice. I discovered REPO! <333 "I want you so bad." This month was when everything began to get better <3
August:
PROJEKT REVOLUTION <3 I have yet to miss a day. Urges. I had this weird desire to get a Math degree. I was upset that Lou and Zack were friends, lol. That damn "Helloooooo" banner. Harry Potter was pushed back :[ :[ :[ I started alternating colors. My score went up ;) I waited for forever to buy my textbooks. "Hurricanes." He was in Miami. I wrote this amazing MindSay entry. :] "You're prettier than the beach." Begin Fall Semester. She always gets worse before she gets better. Sarah Palin entered our lives.
September:
I worked on Labor Day because I begged Ant to keep the store open. Busch Gardens with the Soulmate <3 HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD in my mail <33 Gross McCain propaganda in my house. I did not watch the VMAs, and neither did she. I just wanted you to be happy. Holding hands or whatever. I started trying. Matt's birthday. Jill's birthday. Her arrest, oh man. Susie's battery died. :[ But she was fixed! Jenny moved to Orlando, and I was a little jealous. I worried about you. Professor Long died and I had to stop talking shit about him. I went to a synagogue. "How old are you girls?" She came back and he told me she would never leave. I didn't want her to take it back. "Jockin' Jay-Z" <333 It was a year since it started. She left. HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD <333 I MET THEM YES I DID <333 Mikey was arrested for the first time. She came back for good. My confessional Ethics paper.
October:
Enver's accidental awkward phone call ;) My half-birthday! I freaked out when he picked me up. We happened again. I still think she's too strong to die. My fucking laptop >:[ I wrote Ronnie's order wrong. Skipped school to by NBT8 tickets, but it wasn't even working. My CD player stopped working. Autumn thought Brent cheated on her with me. Womanizer video <3 Klik <3 Overall bar nights <3 That comment from Dirty Black Halo <3 I smiled at a blind man. Go Rays :] RISE AGAINST, for the third time <3 "You're probably starving yourself." Devil's Gift <3 I talked so much shit but I meant every word. OTEPOTEPOTEPOTEP. I voted! I got my laptop back but it was still fucked up. Pink wig <333 and Matt visited <333 and I skipped out on Brent's Halloween party.
November:
Brent thought he was moving to Tennessee. Enver was in Macedonia. The election ruined my relationship with my mother and I have yet to repair it completely (I don't want to). "My president is black." Mikey's dad asked me out on a date, lmao. PAPERS PAPERS PAPERS. I think she knows. My new Sony Vaio <3 Raises <3 His second arrest, haha. We hung out at school, lol. I dressed up just to visit, haha. I stopped look like me. Lou had to have his whole toenail removed, haha. I made that trust list twice without realizing it. THANKSGIVING <333 We all started talking again, temporarily. I found out REPO was coming to Tampa <3 Lou took home our puppy :]
December:
My make-up served as a reminder. The second. She lost her authority. I was happy. Procrastinationnnnnnnnnnnnn. I lost my voice for days. I told him. My grandmother got married. Sami had to spend the night because she didn't trust us. Next Big Thing 8!!!!!!! :-* I SAW REPO I SAW REPO I SAW REPO <3 End of the semester <3 RIP BETTIE PAGE <3 A car was bought for my brother, and so were all the subsequent repairs. I turned down the bonfire, and I sincerely regretted it. But I loved the Christmas Party <3 And Magen took my photobooth virginity the next day ;) Also, amazing chicken salad sandwiches <3 I was Brent's beer pong partner, but I was sober. My grandparents visited and seriously overstayed their welcome. haha. That message from Angie <3 Matt visited and he is MOVING BACK yayyy. Christmas <3 "Man I love this girl! She's so sweet!" My brother brought Zack over :] My jaw has been killing me for days. After a year of promises I finally printed out pictures. And I am stuffed from New Year's Eve dinner :[
I guess the first half of 2008 sucked but I have been generally really happy for the latter half. :] My plan is to continue this happiness well into 2009 and for the rest of my little life ;) I only wish all of you the same happiness and more as we venture on in to a new year :]
A few of my 2009 Resolutions:
- Sincerely consider shoretening my work schedule down to six days.
- Not signing up for summer semester!
- Focus on writing and creating.
- Make new amazing friends and/or seriously strenghten my ties to the old ones.
- Remember that I do have time.
Well, first off...a bit about me. I'm homeschooled (not nearly as isolating as one might think--ever heard of a laptop and a cafe?), and I live with my (very British, very eccentric) mother in an apartment in London proper (postcode E46EL, for the Mindsay team, if they ever decide to let us poor foreigners enter our location on the map). I'm not a British native. I'm actually from the Seattle area. I lived in and around Seattle for my first 15 and a half years, so I'm actually very American with some British undertones, as Mum put it (yes, I call her Mum). I'll be 17 on the 17th, and I'm in the middle of what would be the equivalent of my Junior year in American schools (they don't call it that here, and the schooling itself is rather different). It's 7-ish in the evening here, whereas in Seattle it's 10-ish in the morning. Good morning, Seattle.
This blog is the written dialogue of my New Year's 2007 Resolution #3: to improve my admittedly limited physical fitness. (Did you know that that's the #1 resolution back in the States? Sadly, despite this, obesity rates continue to skyrocket. Salute, fast food and coronary artery disease). Resolutions #1 and #2 are to write more (creative writing--this doesn't count), and to save enough money for a trip back to the States this summer (I miss it dearly, even though London is quite possibly my favorite city in the world).
Anyway, that's not what this blog is. It's a progress-tracker for Res #3. Physical fitness isn't exactly my forte. Back in the States (I swear, eventually I'll run out of things to talk about from "back in the States"), I barely passed Freshman P.E. I had reconstructive knee surgery just before we left, and most activities more strenuous than walking around the block were agonizing until about 6 months ago. In short, I'm chronicling the whipping of my fat, lazy ass back into some semblance of shape. I'm British. I'm supposed to be enviously skinny and pale. I'm already more than pale without trying. The skinny part, I suppose, is up to me.
Tuesday was Day 1- a running day. I ran 7 minutes and walked 18--a grand total of 25 minutes. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day, and, clearly, neither will my body be reshaped in that time frame. I felt horrible right after the running bit; I was faint and nauseated, but I think that was because I took too much Vicodin (I had all four so-called Wisdom Teeth removed not long ago--still on pain-killers). Anyway, I got back to the house, took a 10-minute power-nap, and made some soup. Mum scolded me for running so soon after surgery. But...whatever. It was oral surgery, not cardiovascular. She's an incessant worrywart. Ever since we moved here, she's transmorgified into Mother Hen On Crack.
Anyway, Wednesday (Day 2) was a non-running day. I consequently spent the day lazing about, watching movies and studying. I hurt something terrible. Took a bath to loosen my aching muscles, but it didn't help much. Oh- also, on Wednesday, Liam brought me Christmas (he was in Switzerland for Christmas, lucky man) in the form of a case for my IPod, so I can run with tunes now.
Thursday (yesterday-Day 3) was a non-running day. I did walk around a bit, shopping with Liam and his sister, but I doubt you could really call that physical activity; I've never been too lazy or laid-up to do some walking. I've always walked quite a bit, actually.
Today (Day 4) was a running day, as is tomorrow. Running the whole 7 minutes was a bit more of a challenge today, but I expected that. The stiffness in my legs wasn't quite worn out yet, but by the time I got back to the house, I was completely spry. It felt good. There's actually a point in one's running where your body produces endorphines while running, so that you actually feel happy from running. I'm not there yet, but I vow to be there soon.
Adieu,
Converse Runner Renee
Oh, by the way--I do run in a trashy pair of old black Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars. Why ruin a good pair of new shoes when the Converse are more comfortable anyway?
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]
