Resident Evil @ MindSay

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There's one easy way to tell if a session with Dianne was meaningful: I'll end up crying.
I try so fucking hard to stop myself, this time I was bending my fingers and squeezing my wrists - but as I said to her, if I start, I don't end up stopping.
I spoke to her a little bit about "5 to 15" - I recollected a few events. Those that I didn't think were majorly important, or that I don't think would have affected me that much in the future - but Dianne seemed to think they were useful information.
 
I got my first draft of the film studies coursework back today - Sarah said it's A-grade standard, but the fact I missed out a few chunks of information in places, it's only a C/B. So I'll be adding to it shortly - she's told me I ought to get an A overall for the coursework. I hope so. I want an A for film studies, seeing as how I managed to get one in media studies last year too.
 
I sat on the 2nd floor of the LRC in my break between the session with Dianne and my English lesson. I listened to Spieluhr on repeat for a while, until it started getting on my nerves - then swapped to Silverstein and Blind Guardian. I updated the blogs I'd left blank for Tuesday and Wednesday and had a mooch about on some randomers' blogs.
 
I've always hated English since I came to college - loved it before I came here, then it suddenly just got shit. I despise it even more now that Adam has been put into D block with me. He sits with Siobhan - he was sort of adjacent to me on the tables today, I was in a shit mood and he kept saying random shite to make me smile. I did smile at some of them, but I didn't feel smiley inside. I feel uncomfortable in that room as it is with all the arseholes in there, but it's gotten worse now Adam's there too. Sigh.
 
Hannah pissed me off too. I was simply asking Angela what it was we were supposed to be making notes on, and she goes: "We did the phonology yesterday... YOU KNOW, THE STUDY OF SOUND?"
I just gave her my psycho glare and growled: "I KNOW WHAT FUCKING PHONOLOGY IS."
I'm surprised she didn't retaliate, she looked more surprised than offended at my response. Oh, I fucking hate her. She's always riles me because of her fucking ridiculous nasal-voice, but as soon as someone treats me like I lack intellect, they become hatred targets. Inconsiderate shit-sniffers!
 
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On the bus home, I was listening to Blind Guardian louder than I should have done - and this random old woman kept turning around and giving me weird looks. Fucking slag. You'd think sitting behind an aged person, they'd be too deaf to hear your music. I don't have it THAT loud!
It just sounds louder in small spaces, such as lifts... :)
 
I'm a proper arsehole in the bus station though - I was bounding off to catch up with the bus that was due to leave the bay - and there was this huddle of dirty chavs standing by the railings that just didn't want to move - so I just SHOULDERED one out of the way - the look she gave me was proper funny. I didn't even look at her, I just carried on, fueled by my full-blast Rammstein. :)
 
When I got in, I made myself some of those chicken & bacon motzarella wraps and ate them while I watched Spongebob Squarepants. Nickelodeon seriously couldn't time it better - it always seems to be on whenever I get in. I like watching cartoons after college, it re-fills my happy levels. My happy levels are usually always below centre, but they drop to negative figures when I'm at college. The shithole that it is.
Well, not the building or the tutors or even the lessons - it's the arseholes that are there.
 
I went upstairs, set up my Wii and I finished off Spyro: Enter The Dragonfly.
Good fucking riddance, that's one game I'm not re-playing in a hurry. Thankfully, it was only £3.50, so I didn't waste that much on it. It's not a TERRIBLE game, but compared to the other Spyro games, it just doesn't even compete. And they're on PS1 - this is a GC/PS2 game!
It's just the overall glitchiness that ruins it. All the disappearing floors, voice lags, control reversals, camera freezing and general jumping about makes it a chore. It's also WAY too easy. Having different breath attacks instead of power-up portals is NOT Spyro! The time limits on the power-ups is what makes it fun!
 
And the lack of the locate gems feature doesn't make it harder - it just makes it goddamn tedious. And WHY do you collect DRAGONFLIES? Not eggs, not baby dragons - ach.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's wank though - GameFAQs reviewers all only give it 2/10 and 3/10.
I've completed all of the PS1 Spyros at least twice each, because they have excellent replay value - but as per fucking usual, as soon as a mint PS1 series gets ported to PS2, it FAILS.
It happened with Crash, it happened with Parappa The Rapper - it was obviously going to happen to Spyro. :(
 
Tee hee, bad game rant is over. :D
 
 
So, with that pile of crap removed from my to-be-completed games wallet and put back into the box at the bottom of the stack, not to be played again in a hurry - I replaced it with Resident Evil.
Now is the time for me to complete the scenario with Chris. Seeing as how Chris is supposed to be hard mode, I'm very surprised at how easy it is. I'm not sure if it's got to do with the fact I already know my way around due to completing it with Jill - but when I played her scenario, I must have died a good 10 times. I'm at the guardhouse currently and I've not died once. The snake didn't even hurt me, and Chris only gets a shitty shotgun, Forest's bazooka just doesn't seem to be present.
 
I still shit myself when Lisa Trevor came in the outside hut - even though I knew she was coming - she scares the shit out of me. She's what makes the Resi 1 re-make so much scarier. That and all the graphical touch-ups, crimson heads, insane puzzles, extra rooms and the general darker overtone and detailed environments.
 
I should stop talking about games, otherwise I'll just end up turning my blog into a games review. :)

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Summer Accomplishments:

- Completed Resident Evil: Code Veronica X (GC)

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I wouldn't say that today had finally put an end to this week's depression lapse - I still don't feel as neutral as I normally do, I still feel quite shitty at the moment - but today's been better than previous days this week.

I woke up at 10 - cleaned my room, took a shower and waited for Ash to arrive.
I'd wanted to go to her's today, but dad started work too early, so she ended up coming here instead.

As soon as I'd turned on Final Fantasy VII - Ash came.
It's not the first time that's happened either. Same with Adam.
If you ever want someone to arrive faster - play FF7. :)

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We kicked off the day with sausage rolls, Pepsi Max, chocolate doughnuts and Guitar Hero. :)
We played the quickplay and band career of GH: Metallica - until I noticed Ash was doing her 'muhhhrrr' face. But it wasn't actually through lack of interest in Guitar Hero - it was specifically loss of interest in Metallica. :D

Ash actually agrees with me - GH:M is the game with the worst setlist. It has like FOUR good songs in it.
So when I suggested we play Greatest Hits instead, Ash couldn't press eject on the Wii fast enough. :)

I was really testing my throat though, trying to do Expert vocals whilst eating Doritos inbetween songs. They're quite dry, so they made my throat all crackly. It was a good thing I had a pint of water beside me.
I got a bit hyper during Barracuda and Hit Me With Your Best Shot: over-emphasising on the "OOOOH BARRACUDA...!" and changing lyrics to "HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST PAAAAAT!" :)

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Then Ash and I had some fun with the Doritos.
Ash was laid on her back and I was tickling her face with my hair.
Then I started waving Doritos infront of her face - pulling them away when she went to eat them.

Then she turned round and said: "Oh FINE, BALANCE THEM ON MY NOSE."
So I did this:



And in mid-overbalance:




Ash ended up with orange salty dust all over her face - so I told her to close her eyes while I wiped it away from her, just to make sure she didn't get salt in her eyes.
This made me realise how much Ash trusts me - even when I was touching around her eyes with my fingertips, she didn't grimace, flinch or shake - she kept quite still. Just proves that she wasn't nervous or scared. :)

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We had hotdogs outside in the garden. :)
We had some amusement with the "ready-sliced" buns from ASDA.
In effect, they were sliced at RANDOM ANGLES, nowhere NEAR in the centre - diagonally, up the sides, all over the place.

Ready sliced!
We still ended up slicing them ourselves. :(

Then we had creme caramels. :)
That was amusing - the bench in the garden is on a slant, and you could tell, as the pudding was sliding sideways on the plate.

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As my Summer Accomplishments says - I completed Resident Evil: Code Veronica X today. :)
On request from Ash, of course.

I suffered a lot of stupid deaths by poisonous Hunters - and blundering into boss fights with only a handgun...
Ash had to encourage me a lot of the time to stop me from breaking and turning off the Wii in frustration.
She'd pat my head and give me words of encouragement. :)

It was hilarious when Claire got squashed by the falling concrete block trap.
Ash shit herself - jumped a foot in the air. :)
She always jumps when she KNOWS something will happen.

I was around 10 minutes away from the boss fight when Ash's dad came.
She was sad - I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
I did complete it after she'd gone - but if she wants to see the boss, I'm more than happy to re-load the file before the fight and show her. :)

VERY VERY EASY.
I went into the battle with a magnum, explosive arrows, flame rounds, acid rounds and grenade rounds.
I only actually used 10 explosive arrows - I completed the game without even touching the magnum!

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After my mood slightly rose last night with the parmo and Resident Evil combination - I suspected that I may feel slightly reasonable today. But no.
Today I've felt worse.

I would have allowed myself to cut my arms - but after mam told me that I might be going to get new shirts tomorrow - and she'd be there, naturally she'd want to see how they look on me - thus, making my arms a dangerous place to cut if I wanted to conceal them.
So I've had to opt for my legs instead, which sucks - because they don't hurt half as much.

Nobody is really helping.
Shelly certainly didn't help by ringing me up this afternoon hyper off her head.
Everyone else is always hyper as fuck or jolly and happy when I feel like slitting my throat.

She's coming to see me - but I can see it being a repeat of Wednesday.
Could even be worse if mam's not at work and insisting on taking me out. :(

I tried to continue DATWBSVOH last night and I only got a sentence out.
Sigh, it looks like I'll be fucking stuck on chapter one forever.

But, one positive I suppose:
Resident Evil: Code Veronica X - Nosterafu is dead, finally. And he didn't manage to poison me.
I'm onto Chris' scenario, but I might save that for when I have an audience.

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Compared to how epic Monday was, today was just a pile of shite.
I don't know what the difference between today and Monday was, but...

Perhaps I'd had the epic mood carry over from Saturday and it's just been decreasing as the days went by...
Or maybe Monday was such a blur of Cherry Coke and nachos and Tuesday was a whirl of intimacy and randomness, I hadn't noticed how shit I was actually feeling.


Shelly rang me, woke me up.
I didn't really want to talk to her - I'd woke up feeling shit and I wanted to sleep more.
So I was sort of relieved when the phone cut off.

She kept ringing me back though - but I was ignoring it.
I just felt like crying and hurting myself, so I really wanted to be left alone. I'd have turned my phone off, but I needed to leave it on for my alarm and to get the texts from Adam telling me when he'd be here.

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When I eventually woke up, I straightened my room, went for a shower and got myself ready.
Then I played a few gigs of Guitar Hero: World Tour before switching to online face-off matches.

When Adam arrived, I was playing face-offs against some prick who played on Medium called Nuclear Bombs.
They beat me at first - but I fucking hate gloaters who play on stupidly easy levels and buzz when they beat someone who is clearly so much better than they are.
This soon stopped - we played about 12 songs together - and I won 9 of them. So there. :P

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We were so fucking bored today.
Adam suggested we play Brawl, but I didn't want to - on the account that I don't have much else left to do on it. I don't like doing something if it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress.

So we played a few songs on WT, before I changed my mind and decided to play Brawl.
We played for around an hour, playing 2 VS 2 team matches.
We started out against level 6s, but we slowly moved up to level 8s - finding the lower numbers simply too easy for us. As always, I was Peach, Adam was Shiek.
We're a pretty epic duo.

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I'm not sure what actually caused me to snap - but I was bored, as we both were - I also felt very shit.
Brawl pissed me off, due to one of the ridiculous challenges, so I threw the remote and lost one of the batteries - so I couldn't use it.
So, the combination of depression, boredom and anger made me snap, I'm guessing.

At one point, I actually suggested to Adam that he just go home.
I was laid on my bed, trying to stop myself from either screaming or crying - so as a result, Adam and I didn't speak for about 45 minutes.

He was on my computer - occasionally turning around and trying to make me smile, but it never worked. :/

Mam came up at one point - asked why I was ignoring Adam.
I said I wasn't - and Adam backed me up, telling her I wasn't, which was sweet of him - although it was so obvious that I was.

Not purposely of course - he hadn't done anything to upset me, so I shouldn't have done - but I couldn't really help it, I felt that shit, all I wanted to do was hurt myself, but I had to fight that.
I apologised to him later though. I hope he understood that much.

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Ian came round later on the night - I'd lightened up ever-so-slightly by then.
I was talking to Adam again, at least. Perhaps even cracking the odd smile.

Ian, Adam and I held a short discussion about games and The Backloggery.
I told him I'd beaten Ruby and Emerald WEAPON on FF7 - gloated a little bit because he hasn't beaten Ruby. :D

I went downstairs and said to mam I wanted a parmo.
This was the best move ever - Ian and dad backed me up and they ended up ordering a meal deal.
Pizza, parmo, chips, salad, donner kebab, garlic bread and Coke. :D

So we shared it out between us - Adam didn't eat much, but he ate most of the salad and I gave him a bit of parmo.

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The two of us finished off the night with some Resident Evil: Code Veronica X.
According to Ian, Adam and the guide - I'm very close to the end.

I got pretty far in - but due to my refusal to save when it's vital, I got killed by the bastard boss, and now I've lost a lot of the progress I made...
Grrrraaahgggh!!!

Either way, I forgot to pick up a vital weapon I would have needed to kill it, so in effect, it's a good thing...
At least I know what I have to do next time. There shall be less blundering about.

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I've added an old friend on Facebook. We're currently talking on MSN.
A huge year gap really does give you plenty to talk about.

It was a good start though - we both like the same type of music, we're both gay and we both hate chavs - there's a few hours worth already. :P

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I think I've found a way out of this shitty depression laspe, at last.
Fair enough, I still feel shitty inside - but I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I have done the last week.
Shelly and I discussed what she thinks caused me to start feeling depressed in the first place - and then I discussed it with Adam.

Actually having a possible answer alone made me feel slightly better.
But thanks to the combination of yesterday and today - I've spent two pretty decent days in a row with my friends. Shelly yesterday and Adam today - and of course, I'll be seeing Ash on Saturday. Next week I'll be seeing Adam again, and there's even a possibility I might get to see Lewis. :D

Today's been another strange day where the time just seemed to vanish.
Adam and I can sit around for hours upon end just talking and/or listening to music together - and before we know it, like three hours have passed.

I've been addicted to Final Fantasy VII today.
It's a good thing Adam likes it too - because I wouldn't even agree to turn it off and play a different game with him.
Of course, I wasn't ignoring him - we were still talking and watching videos on YouTube together. At times, he sat on my bed with me, or he sat at the computer.

I did turn it off at one point to play Resident Evil: Code Veronica X.
Though, this proved something Adam said last time he was round.
"Murr, you and Resident Evil, you die and you get pissed off - then you proper turn it off and don't want to play it."

Or words to that effect anyway.
It's true though - I got killed by the shitty poisonous moths - then got MEGA pissed off.
Fine, if I got killed by fucking tyrant or bandersnatches - BUT NOOOO. FUCKING MOTHS.

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[WARNING: Approaching FF7 RANT]

Over the course of today though, I've gotten both Yuffie, Barret and Cid up to level 99.
All that's left now are Red XIII and Vincent - Vincent being my most hated character, due to how useless he is.

I'm planning on kitting them all out with Master Magic and Master Command materias.
Along with these, they'll have [Counter Attack], [Final Attack-Revive], [Added Effect-Contain], [HP Plus], [MP Plus], [Double Cut] - and my four favourite characters (Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie and Cait Sith) will have [Enemy Skill].

I'll distribute [All-Barrier] and [All-Restore] between those characters I don't often use too.
That way, if I ever feel the need to fight with a different party combination (I think you do for the final boss anyway), they'll all be ready to kick some arse.

Naturally, there needs to be some random [KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND] somewhere amongst them all. :D

When I've sorted my levels and materia out - I have Ruby and Emerald WEAPON.
After those - it's only the final boss and I shall have completed my favourite game, that I've spent over 500 hours of my life playing. (All on different saves of course. My current save is only 60 hours.)

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I watched 2 Girls, 1 Cyst today.
Adam told me about it - and the forum it was posted on, everyone made out that it was way worse than 2 Girls 1 Cup.

Seriously, I didn't even flinch.
Fair enough, it's not PLEASANT - but it's not vomit-inducing either.
Alright, don't watch it if you don't like blood, gore, pus, mucous or exploding fatty tissue.

I personally, wasn't disturbed or even disgusted by it.
I didn't ENJOY watching it - but I don't need to reach for the eyeball-bleach. :)

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I felt bad for Adam when his fucking mother decided to turn up.
I didn't even want to listen to them arguing on the doorstep, so I closed my door over and put my iPod in my ears.
I've noticed that when I feel uncomortable - I get under things. Usually my duvet or cushions.

I tried to console him - but it seems that some things just don't change.
The fucking slag. :(