Remembering Past Lives @ MindSay 
of the hypotenuse
converging lines that disappear
you can look at her from any angle
around the swinging noose
you can't tell she's even here
and I breathe slow and deep
in a long, unbroken sleep
dreaming and scraping my thighs
I suckle the teet that satisfies
while parts of you fall off and die
my baby lives in a shoebox
and licks the road clean with her tongue
sucking on a bit of damp cloth
the glass is always empty
filling it half full with lung
the recalcitrance of her cough
the floggings will not continue
till your body is put on the menu
but the one-eyed undertaker
has gone to meet his maker
can't get past the ticket taker
my baby lives in the septic
vodka, vomit, bursting stars
swirling 'round the vortex
inexplicable bruises
perpendicular scars
are her sacred objects
I miss you cupcake
I won't leave you to your moosey fate
your pepto bismol and your ibuprofen
can't stop your rope from being broken
and your eyes from blinking open
You think you've heard all the stories before, and that every tale told is the same, with new names and vague ideas of originality. I tell you now, the stories my sisters and I call memories have never been told by a living person. The closest your society will ever get is reading what our bones can tell, bones which are mostly dust and forgotten. Until now. Our stories, our lives are being heard. So welcome to you, Dusty Traveller of thee Ages. May you hear about our lives without judgment and leave our well with no thirst and much knowledge. Hopefully you will have the knowledge enough to keep both your eyes.
I was born into this world in a small village, near one of the larger cities of the country where we made our home. From the start, i had a divine sense of the world, and could see clearly into the future, past and present. The moon had marked me as her own bright child.
THis means very little to you and your children now, unfortunately. THe lore of our lives was lost when men ruled the world for their own, abusing the sacredness of women, turning them into monsters beneath a beautiful exterior.
But by the first blood of a girl, she had found her talents, her teachers, her trade.By my first blood, spilt on a full moon, i was already wearing the dark blue robes of an apprentice, at the temple of the moon. I was initiated into the secrets my elder sisters held, to the honor of keeping them and helping my society.
Secrets of the future, past, present. Of healing and childbirth, old tales that we alone remembered. Yes there was medicine in our society and tales of healing, but my people were just coming into those strengths when everything evaporated.
But there i was, a Priestess' apprentice. My mistress was Erlara, with unruly white curls, and eyes greener than an emerald. She was nearing 115 when she saw me amongst the ranks of grey cloaked hopefuls. She knew i was hers, the one who would carry the last of her knowlegde and memory. She gave me my apprentices robes and braided my mahogany hair with sapphires.
I was one of the lucky ones, truthfully. Or so Erlara said. Women who showed the talents often clamoured into the temple hall on the Moon Festival, would wait for hours in grey robes. Waiting for a mistress to teach them. Few were intiated into the blue apprentices robes, but many of the women rejected found themselves happier in the garden or sewing up a wound in the hospital. Such was the lighter destiny for those who could not bear the weight of the moons darker paths.
I spent the rest of my childhood and adolescent years, learning to read what the sacred pools could say, to hear the whisper of the little folk and nature spirits. I even conversed with a dwarf, who left a small gift of gold on my pillow the next morning. Erlara said it was a blessing, for a gift from a dwarf was no light thing.On the next harvest moon she took me to the sacred pools and held up the gold, which glowed with the brightness of the moon. Much to my delight, it brought my friend, quietly from the shadows, to touch my breast where the heart beat within.When Erlara made a small gasp, he scuttled off, for he had paid no attention to my mistress.
My heart glowed at the love he gave me, for he had pledged his life to me. something done only with a monarch or a lover. I had been blessed by the dwarfkind, which gave me a stronger link to the earth. Even now his handprint covers my heart, glowing like faery dust.
-----------------------------
To be continued at a later date.
i've learned to forgive you, but i still have so many unanswered questions. you say it's in the past, but even though the years have past, i can tell you're still hurt by it as well. however, we were hurt differently. you lost a person you loved, fully, and i lost a part of you... i doubt i'll ever really understand where this whole thing went wrong, but there's not much i can do. i want to believe that i honestly love you with all my heart, but a huge part of me really doesn't believe that. so are we even? naw, i doubt it... just looking at her brings so much anger, disgust... i've stopped crying over it, because i've grown and i'm starting to believe that it REALLY wasn't me... I admit when i go wrong, most of the time, but i really didn't do anything this time... loving you was the best thing that i've ever been through, but being with you makes me indifferent. now that we've welcomed this new chapter, i'm starting to feel like i don't want it. common? i think so... let's see, what's the best way to put this? hmmm... I want you here, i want you now, but i wouldn't mind if we go separate ways later on. now that the blindfold is off, i can really see a lot of the shit i conformed to. I don't want this anymore, we're different people, different lives, and to really make it work, i don't know if we can do that... i just wish i had the courage to be on my own, i want it, but i'm so afraid... am i with you because i don't want to be alone??? i'm with you because i've gotten used to you??? u say you're trying, but how many steps have you actually taken forward??? you're not holding me back, but you're not making it better either...
i love you, but to what extent? is this what he was talking about when he warned me about us???
doubt lingers in my heart, how do i make it all go away???