Remember To Breathe @ MindSay

So apparently I got drunk last night, in case you didn't get the memo.
I have so much to write about,
it's not going in here though.

I work at 6. I really don't want to. I think it'll be fine once I get there.
This morning when I woke up, I fell right back down.

Things I remember about last night:
-- Throwing up in the bath tub.
-- Beerbongs. Beerbongs. Beerbongs.
-- Smoking in the house.
-- Putting on underwear before I got drunk.
-- Calling Xtian at 4AM and waking him up.
-- Calling Amy Mac right before that (I do not remember what was said).
-- Ring stuck on Tyesa's finger. Shampoo surgery ("Breathe in... breathe out, 1, 2, 3! I got it!")
-- Laying angrily on the plastic bench, flicking cigarettes.
-- Talking to a kid from Slickville (he knew the Puzaks'. Who doesn't?)
-- Itching my nose and losing my nose stud.

I'm done typing now I think.

remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe remember to breathe

 

i will be ok, things will be ok. its not too late, i just need to study more, do more work. need to remember to take my quizes and do things in advance. Need to go to office hours cuz you know it helps. Need to remember that things are different now. You're a different person and you've made it this far on your own. You're free. You're free from him even though you have ptsd, you're free because it wasn't your choice, it was never your choice, and you're free because you don't dwell on it like you used to. You're free because even tho J got a gf in July, you still haven't cut/scratched since then, you still haven't cut/scratched since that time u guys had sex on ur period in June n he wasn't single again until about three or four weeks ago. You will be ok. You just need to focus now. Its still September. You don't have internet yet so you don't have the distraction. Get good grades, get into grad school, live your life and be happy. Even if you're single forever, you still have cats. Cats are nice.

 

ok. i think i can make it through my day now. the only hard part is going to be putting all of that into practice...