Relief @ MindSay

               D CAME TO VISIT TODAY!!!! :-D  Oh man was it good to see him!  We had finally settled into reading instruction a little, and I heard a voice and I was mid-trying to calm A down because he was mad he ‘hadn’t had a warm-up’, and I just stood up and ran over.  SO happy to see him.  it was like… you know when someone’s hurt, and you hear they’re better, but in your mind, they’re NOT okay until you actually get to see them?  Well…he’s okay.  He was being admitted to a day program today, so there’s no set date of when he’ll be back with us IF he’ll be back with us, but…he’s out of the hospital in almost 1/3 of the time he’s gone in for in the past.  That gives me tremendous hope.

                Rest of the day was pretty good.  2 days in a row A has LOST his dang mind for the afternoon; this was his issue at the beginning of the year, too.  Maybe it’s the warm weather?  Have to investigate that further.  Meanwhile, we (and by we, I mean Claudia because she was there) did a ton of testing on E today; he took the DIBLES for 4^th grade and 5^th grade (and did better on 5^th grade), and then Terri taught me how to do this thing called the WRAT, which was a spelling and math diagnostic;  he scored in the average range on both, though his spelling results placed him as a 3^rd grader (he is a good speller if you teach him the word, but my theory is that because his speech is so hard to understand, he also doesn’t HEAR a lot of the nuances of language, and thus doesn’t hear letters that are in words, which is why he can write words perfectly that he’s SEEN/studied, but on the first go-around, misses them).

                Reading group he came without complaint, and then I sucked it up and went to get JW and LF-M even though I had a bad headache and figured Larry would say no because they had their math test today.  We went to the lab, and tried to write.  They need to see me more as a teacher; I like being silly with them, but there’s also … it’s not disrespectful, but I’m pretty sure if I sat back and Dorell was in charge of them again one afternoon, they’d produce a lot more, and wouldn’t be nearly as sarcastic.  I don’t want them super serious (since I’m not super serious), but I’d also like them, as gen-ed 6^th graders, to be able to produce a significant amount of work in the half hour we have together.  Starting tomorrow.

*A-ism of the day = "Whatever I can do for the trees..."

I was thinking about volunteer work the other day. The fact that I enjoy helping others, and that it is also a requirement for the International Baccalaureate Programme, which I am in.

And the Salvation Army came to mind. Now, I know them to be a Christian based organization, but I thought I'd check out their website anyways, to see what all they do.

So I looked at their page online, and looked at all the wonderful things they do. I was thinking, well I would really like to be part of this. Then I looked further, to their mission statement and values, and it has "god" and "christian" every third word, practically. Now, I wonder why this is. Why is it so important that they be based on Christianity?

I don't have a problem with Christian organizations, only the wonder that they have to be based around only one religion! As if only Christians care about other people. As if you have to be religious to want to help make the world a better place.

Well I'm not, and I do! I am wondering, that if I ask to volunteer, they may not accept me because I am not Christian. Now I wouldn't want to pretend to be something I'm not, but I think this sounds like a really good cause and I would be willing to act Christian, to help out.

Do you think this should be necessary? Would they refuse my help because I am not a Christian? I believe in helping people, and the work they say they do, without religious belief.

I don't think someone has to be religious to care about the world, or to be a good person, or to want to do good things.

******

What do you think of the Salvation Army and their work?

Do you think it would be better if they weren't focused on one religion? Or even religion in general?

What do you think I should do?

April fourth; poem four.

 

 MANIA’S ADDICTION

 

One more time, I cry in pain

Distraught, alone in tremors lain

My need is great; I need that high

Need to feel on wings I fly

 

How can I bear nothing happening?

How to survive the depressive aching?

One more hit, just one more shot

Maybe this one is all I’ve got

 

Sex or drugs or alcohol

It’s all the same—perhaps Demerol?

Anything to hide these blues

Would anyone like to wear my shoes?

 

Oh yes, he looks; I’ll have my way

I’ll knock this thing for one more day

Drown in the arms of attention’s wine

Though tomorrow morn I’ll feel like swine

 

Self-destruction; me, all but lost

At what a debilitating cost

No way out, it seems I’m doomed

Can’t help myself up from the gloom

 

Just one more buzz, just one more high

Just one more…something…to get me by

Whee! I’m up; I’m invincible

Yet in the end, dispensable

 

To God I’ve cried in agony

Won’t you take this cup from me?

Throughout the years, I tried to see

A way to live successfully

 

I knew I’d never go it alone

Could never do this on my own

My will was lost when the surge took over

I was like a drunk who could not get sober

 

Finally, I dragged myself to see

Someone who had the sense to be

My fortitude, and push me through

To her I owe my gratitude

 

God was there, all the time

Knowing in his grace sublime

That he had called great docs like Luke

And that I had seen one was not a fluke

 

This was his way of touching me

When I had “bottomed out”, you see

For had any offered this help before

I certainly would have slammed the door

 

Now, steady goes it; I miss the high

That little fact, I can’t deny

But knowing an even keel is best

My mind and soul have found sweet rest.

 

Bonniegirl

April 4, 2008

 

 

 

 

I'M SO RELIEVED! Emma's in at least ONE of my classes for next year. We have last period together, which is our Quint period. Right now our quint is Health last period! I was worried, since so far the other people that I've asked have no classes with me, excepting lunch. And also because Emma and I have funn in class together. So hah.

 

Phew.