Relationship End @ MindSay

Ah..

My three month romance with a young lady is at its end.  It is kind of odd; I don't feel as bad as I thought I would; maybe I secretly thought it wouldn't work out...

Or maybe I was looking for a way out when one presented itself. 

The details of the end aren't really relevant; but they hurt me none the less.

Yet the 'loss' part of it came in the past couple of weeks it seems something inside me told me that it was over before I even decided to end the relationship.  Lies eventually come out and you can ignore them and go on pretending nothing happened; or end something that could be bad in the long run.  I don't want it to be five years later and still dealing with the same issues that should've been dealt with at the beginning.

Things happen; when God closes a door he opens a window.

Sometimes that window is 10 stories up and you have to rely on him to get down safely ;-) 

Yet you might find the trip is the most invigorating part of your life..

After reading over my observations from Sunday night, I was inspired to go back and find this quote from Laurell K. Hamilton's "Incubus Dreams", pages 136-137 (I love her writing because it is so insightful, and applicable to everyday events):

"You fight so hard, so long, to cut someone out of your heart, but its not always your heart that betrays you... I hadn't realized until moments ago that somewhere in the depths of my soul, I'd held out hope. Hope that Richard and I would work out, somehow. I thought I'd moved on - stupid. I hadn't moved on, I'd just hidden it away. I couldn't give myself completely to anyone, because I was still in love with Richard. How f*cking stupid was that?"

Replace all the "Richard"s with "Jay"s, and you've just encapsulated my current frustrated ponderings.

~Ezree