Relationship @ MindSay

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." (Song of Solomon 7:10)

The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements--along with money and children--that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond.

Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover?" Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.

In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you. His desire is toward you.

Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.

Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

All these problems that have been building up over the last few months had to come to a head sometime. Me and Garoc were about a hairsbreadth away from breaking up, but as usual when we talk about it, a lot of things become clearer and sort themselves out. Im just so glad he can understand the lack of feelings I have for him at the moment. With all these stresses my body's just telling me to hate the one that seems to be causing it which is him. Its not all his fault, but thats just the way things happen. 

So we wait. We'll try and sort some of the problems that are mostly logistical (cleaning) and see if talking helps with our other ones. We'll see how things are feeling after Dragon Dreaming, its going to be massive and it's the perfect opportunity for a decent break from the bub and other daily stresses. Hopefully we can keep it going because I suspect after this big blow-up, if we survive, our relationship will be at the point we both really want as far as the open thing goes. We've gotten to the point that neither of us really care about who when or where with a few minor exceptions, but see if we can keep it that way once we're back to our normal happy relationship.

I just hope we can get over the hostility that's built up over the last few months and love each other like we used to. We're both going to have to work hard to change a bit and make more effort to help each other through this. That seems to be the main thing, we've been blaming each other for problems that just naturally build up in a stressfull environment with one parent working all the time and the other caring for bub all the time. We just need to learn to help each other with everything, we're supposed to be in this together.

I suppose we're still relatively new parents, and we're still learning. At least we can always be civil and live with each other as long as we keep talking. And we can always talk as long as we stay honest and open minded. We have been through so much together and grown so much together it would be a shame to let it all go now. Not to mention the beautiful baby we have!