Rejection @ MindSay

Oh, sweet rejection.  How the pain stings.  How the paper cuts leave small but deep wounds that burn when I pour alcohol on them so they don't get infected.  

Ladies and gentlemen, I have received my first rejection notice.

Actually, my first three.  Apparently when agents don’t like you, they act fast.

Observe Exhibit A:


At least this is nice and polite.  I mean, they do wish me the best of luck with my work.  Although they also explain that based on the current market, no publisher would possibly want my book.  So, in other words, they tell me to give up because no one is going to buy my book.  But hey, at least they admit to being afraid to give me this news, which just proves how very intimidating I am.

But here’s my question, if the volume of queries they receive obliges them to respond in a form letter, how were they able to get it out to me so fast?


Oh well, at least I have this one to make me feel better:


These wonderful people don’t even know whom they are rejecting.  I’m pretty sure my name is Matt, not Tony, although I guess I could be wrong.  I’ve only been living with the same name for more than twenty years.

And I love the fact that they just crossed off “author,” not even trying to make it seem like it was a personal letter.  And meanwhile, they rejected me, no relationship is going to be formed, so they didn't need to be personal in the first place.  But if you are going to be personal, don’t cross off “author” so that we see it was a form letter, and don’t replace the crossed off "author" with the wrong name.

Despite that minor (okay, major) screw up, however, these people are very nice about their rejecting.  They claim to have really appreciated the opportunity to review my work, and they assure me that it was definitely read and thoroughly evaluated.  Not thoroughly enough to know what my name is, but whatever, there’s different definitions of thorough.

And finally, they left me with a little optimism.  As opposed to saying, “No agent would want this damn book in a time like this, moron,” as the first agency did, these people say, “This is a subjective business and another agency may feel quite differently.”  Hey, you’re right!  Maybe someone else would be interested.  Thank you for supplying me with some semblance of hope.


And finally, we have this gal:


Wow, wordy enough?  No wonder you’ve had an impossible time trying to keep up with your correspondence, you don’t stop talking…or writing.  Plus, save your troubles for your shrink, girlfriend.  I don't need to know how stressful your job is and how hard of a time you're having trying to keep up with everything.  I can't believe how many submissions you've recently recently as well.  I also can't believe you're making me read through this crap just to get to the backhanded way that you reject me. 

But to be fair, she was really nice about it.  She knew my book wasn’t for her and she didn’t want me to wait around to hear that bad news. She got it out as soon as she could, which was incredibly soon.  So I like this girl, even if she rejected me.  Although she does kind of subliminally reference that she doesn't think my book can sell, which hurts.  But still, I like her.  Good luck, Sheree.  Good luck with all your troubles.




I don’t mean to make light of the situation or sound too bitter.  I expected to get rejected.  I am just showing you these now to increase the drama of this blog, which is becoming more and more like Breaking Bonaduce every week.  Just wait until next week when my wife leaves me [Note to self: Get married and then make your new bride hate her life before next week's post]. 

But besides adding to the real-life drama of this little reality show blog that could, these horribly painful rejection letters are a great segue into a discussion about dialogue.  All three agents had a different way of writing, which is most likely based on their different ways of speaking.

So too should a writer have a unique interpretation of dialogue, which may be based on his or her personality or how that author sees the world.  

Dialogue is often cited as the hardest part of writing a book.  I feel bad for screenwriters, since they’re entire project is dialogue.

But dialogue is so important.  Sure, Charlie Chaplin never had dialogue.  And The New World is sparser with dialogue than a desert with water.  But Charlie Chaplin made silent films, and The New Worlds sucks.  The fact is, dialogue is vital to a good book.  It can really enhance or ruin a story. 

A friend of my parents has had a few books published by a really small company, and everyone who has read them has said the same thing: “The books are really good, but every time someone speaks the story just dies.  It’s so hard to get through the dialogue.”

I think one of the major problems is that people write dialogue too stilted.  In real life, no one says, “We are out of milk,” or “I am going to the store.”  That’s just not how people speak.  Therefore, that's not how dialogue should be written.

Some authors don’t like using conjunctions in their books, but you have to consider them when writing dialogue.  “I am going to the store,” should be “I’m going to the store,” or even, “I’m goin’ to the store.”  You could also try, “I’ll be at the store.”  Either way, write it as someone would speak it.

The key is to speak it aloud.  Have a friend of yours read a scene with you, as if two actors reading lines, and see if the wording works.  When you get to:

”Hey, we are out of milk.”  
“Well then take a trip to the store.”

You will realize that it doesn’t sound right.  Your prose might move along at a quick pace or have an eloquent flow, but as soon as a reader hits dialogue like that, the faucet will shut off and the steady flow will cease.  Stilted dialogue actually makes the reader stop to reread the words in order to absorb the whole thing.  It shouldn't be like that.  It should zip right through.  I'm a big fan of fast, zippy, witty dialogue that just keeps moving, maybe even quickening the pace of the prose instead of slowing it down. 

And hey, I don't want this post to slow down because I rambled on for too long, and I don't want to pull a Sheree, so I'll stop here.  But this topic is too broad to end at this point, especially since I didn’t go into very good detail, so I’ll be back next week to discuss using adverbs in dialogue (i.e. “He said angrily”) as well as coming up with other adjectives for “said,” and how you shouldn’t even need to write “said” in the first place.

Meanwhile, why don’t you tell me some of your favorite bits of dialogue from books, movies, TV shows, or plays?  And there better not be any Danny Bonaduce quoting.    

So that the next time I encounter him I'll have the ability to at least acknowledge him, as opposed to running by him.
In addition, please give me the composure to not bitch slap him/burst into tears/tell him off/etc. when said encounter occurs, in spite of the fact that he considered me good enough to help him with his homework, "befriend," etc., but not good enough to respect.

Thank you.

Sincerly,
Your child who questions your existence daily due to various situations in which you place her.

P.S. Please stop making me fall for the wrong people.

Remember the grand plan we had?  While waiting to hear back from an agent, I was supposed to fill you in on all the things I learned at my recent trip to a writer’s conference?  Well, turns out we’re not going to have time for that, because my new agent buddy already got back to me.

On November 30, my father’s 59th birthday, he rejected me.   

Matthew
It was nice meeting you at MC3 and I appreciate the look at your novel.
Unfortunately, the writing didn’t work for me.  But I still think you are on the right track with the subject matter.
Good luck.
Adam

I just received this, and I have to say it hurts.  Did he not like the main character?  Was it the plot that didn’t grab him?  No, it was something more fundamental than that.  It was the actual writing.

Could there be a worse blow to a writer’s ego?  I really thought I had something special with this one.  I was going to adopt the writing style for all my future works.  My wife in her first note when reading it over wrote, “this is so poetic!”  But perhaps she was just protecting my fragile psyche, and perhaps I was just delusional.  An agent didn’t reject the plot, he rejected the writing.  Ouch.

I wrote back and thanked him for getting back to me, and asked him for some short advice on what he disliked about the writing.  And maybe he’ll reply.  But I doubt it.  He’s busy with clients, and real potential clients.  He doesn’t owe me anything.  He doesn’t need to waste time on me.  In all likelihood, I’ll never know his issue with it.

And sure, there are countless stories of books that were rejected hundreds if not thousands of times before going on to get published, to become bestsellers, to win Pulitzer Prizes.  

And sure, there are books that speak to some people, and books that don’t.  And while this guy could dislike the writing, another agent could be moved by it.  But that doesn’t really help me right now, as I’m reeling from the blow.  That doesn’t change my gut reaction – that my time and efforts were for naught, and that my wife’s gift of the Writer’s Market book has been rendered pointless.   

I mean, what happens when a writer gets told he can’t write?  How does he pick himself up after that?  Can that dust ever be brushed off?  

Is the horse even still there to get back on, or did he kick me off in a fit of agitation and just take off, disappearing deep into the woods, lost forever?  Right now, I don’t know.

I really don’t know.     

By the way, this is a bit ironic, isn't it?  In my first post after asking if good writing can be taught, I get an F in the class.   Buuurn.

.In the old testament book of Job--a more accurate version located in the torah--a man named Job is tortured in unspeakable ways so a God unrecognizable in other books of the bible (or Torah) can prove Job's faithfulness to some dark being. Horrible things happen to Job. He has pretty much the worst day ever.

.I find it a little interesting that a word in english spelled the same way as Job's name means "occupation."

.I still don't have a job. It's like it's some endless series of rejections. I've applied to so many places. I've actually had a couple jobs before. I've never been fired. I always dress nicely when I go in to ask for jobs and always have a cheery disposition.

.Still, no one calls me back. No one. I applied to five different places today. I've applied to many more than that. Some places tell me they call me and never do it. Some places put off telling me they aren't hiring until after excitedly watching me fill out a long and irritating application. And I'm sorry, but if you're an employer and you have a "Now Hiring" sign up but aren't really hiring, you're fucking retarded and shouldn't be running or managing any type of business.

.I'm so hungry, but I don't feel like eating. I feel like moping and sending bad vibes out toward anyone who has rejected me thus-far.

This week has been a total waste of time for me spiritually. I couldn't even think of a time when I had felt God close to me when asked. But the ONLY good thing that came of this week is the fact that I now know where I stand with people I once considered friends. It seemed one shunned me whenever she got the chance except when I was making noise. My cousin treated me like I had the plague whenever I came within her sight when she was with friends... and she complains when other people do the same to her... but anyway that's her story not mine. When I was walking aimlessly around and I just happened to come across her and her friends she basically told me to go away. and the friends she was hangin with didn't even give me an encouraging glance. I went out onto a blacony to say hi to someone i hadn't seen in over a week and she was all happy to see me and talkative. but her friend completely shunned me unless I asked her a question. and then after a couple minutes just flat out said go away. so I did. so now I know where I stand with people I thought were friends. if someone asked me now who my friends were, I'd say I have no friends.