Reese @ MindSay

The other day, I was introduced to the rather nauseating nickname, "Candypants." Yes, I'm as old as I am, and I'd not heard this one before - I was just immediately aware of how derogatory that felt. But then it occurred to me - my nickname for Reese is "Spookypants". And it hadn't crossed my mind that this could be viewed as derogatory as well (though I have to say, there was absolutely nothing sexual about it when it first came up. "Pants" is just a fun word, and "spooky" is both odd and endearing - which is very much Reese.)

Then another point hit me that, this is Reese we're talking about. Unless you're actually criticizing something he's DOING, you can call him almost anything and he won't be insulted - he'll just laugh at you. And maybe drop you in the nearest horse watering trough for good measure. (Fortunately, I can outrun this boy.)

I keep forgetting that I have to be careful about this book.

It's very long. Not that it's an unpleasant read, far from it. But it takes so much time to read it. And it's very addicting. I don't find myself thinking about the writing style and whether that's good or bad, but the characters seem like very real individuals to me, and I'm there with them.

Anne Bishop's created a world where the warrior's strength in men serves the nurturing/gentle strength in women. How that pans out is fascinating. I'm beginning to suspect that I have a fascination with the way men and women play off each other, the different roles they have, their different approaches to life, and the ways they're similar, the ways they're different, and how they work together. Forget suspect, I know I do.

This may be because I didn't really get the concept of guys being separate from girls and yet still people. As a kid, you don't really think about whether or not guys and girls are different, just that they look different. Guys like to push more on the playground, and girls like to be chased.

Upon reflection, that's still true.

Damon reminds me so much of Reese. But, the darker side of Reese. If you combined Damon's character with Duckie's (Pretty in Pink), you'd have a pretty good idea of Reese. I love Pretty in Pink, just because of Duckie. I am enamored with Duckie.

Lucivar is almost exactly a straight shot of Rogue. If Rogue was a bit older (admittedly, both characters are 1700 years old), and a little less reined-in. He does tend to behave himself more than Lucivar, but there are some moments that are uncanny.

There's going to come a day when Rogue can't be looking out for me. He and I both know it. So I think we try to get as much mileage as we can out of these days that we do have. It's curious that that rapscallion sometimes plays the role of my moral compass.

I have to finish this before Monday - it is impossible for me to focus in class when I have a book this good and it's left unread.

Gotta run. Gotta move. It probably doesn't have anything to do with him, but, I haven't seen Reese in a few weeks, and despite the fact that we've been planning to do this for a few weeks, I do NOT want to go sit in a theater tonight. Yes, the play will be good. Don't care.

Because once again it's been driven home to me that the only person who truly completes me is God. And right now, I feel so disjointed inside, that all I want to do is spend the night flying. Work it hard, skim the earth. Don't care if I'm running, biking, skating, what-have-you. But I want to run and let it all out, and be with the only person who understands me fully, the only person who can put me back together. That, and it sometimes feels as though he's the only person who can keep up.

Man, I'm jazzed. Lanth commented the other night that I don't hold still - not entirely true, just frequently the case. But right now, it's not just jiggling my knee - if I pause between words, I notice that the nails of one hand are beating a little tattoo against my desktop, and the other one's anxiously hovering over the keys.

Do I want this time of waiting to be over? Hardly. I can deal with it if it is, but right now, despite the fact that sitting still is agony, it's so cool to know why this is agonizing.

The midnight rule is very simple, and in place for very good reasons.

It simply states that, after midnight, I do not talk. Or communicate, since that seems to be when everybody is on IM. It's not exactly hard-and-fast. It's more like a very strongly suggested guideline, with an understanding of why it's in place and what the consequences are likely to be if I ignore it.

The first reason is that my common sense goes to bed at a sensible hour. Go figure. So, I have been known to say some things that I later regretted.

The second reason is that for whatever reason, I'm more likely to be emotional at night. You know what your friends are like when they get drunk and they're emotional? Yeah. It's not good. I don't drink, I can't drink, but unfortunately, I don't need to drink. My body can apparently produce its own symptoms whenever it bloody well wants to.

The third reason has to do with that little sprite inside me, who represents mischief and randomness. Late at night, it's far more randomness. I just created a song that would be the result if you locked They Might Be Giants in with Five Iron Frenzy for a night. Well, there'd be a lot of other results, but the only reason it came into being was that I was expecting Reese to be on, and he wasn't, so I decided that he needed more nonsense in his life.

Hence, what shall be known as the "New Pants" song - NOT to be confused with "These are Not My Pants". These are in fact my pants, but they were your pants. They're my new pants, but they're not new, because they were yours. They're BETTER than new. I won them from you. Basic premise of the lyrics, but much more repetitive, sillier, and occasionally rhyming.

This is why I'm not allowed to talk after midnight.

Last night was amazing.

Originally, Reese and I were planning on going to one show together. Well, Knuter's in that one, and I still get weird around him, so we went to another play. Great thing about weekends in summer; there's always a show going on somewhere in our area.

Reese brought one of his younger friends, we met up at the park, played around a bit. Very hot - I've noticed that people have stopped using the word 'muggy' and all now seem to prefer 'sultry'. Headed off to the play, which was fun. I knew one of my friends (and presumably, her mom as well) were in it, but I was totally surprised to find that the hero was one of my favorite guys from last year's theater season. He was in one show that I was running lights for.

About halfway through, this terrific thunderstorm set up outside - which was kind of funny, because the play was set in Death Valley. Reese and I both lit up when we glanced outside afterwards and saw that it was dark and pouring. I remember grabbing his hand and saying, "Come to the park with me?"

We ran outside into the rain. The world is dark, and the two of us are leaping and yelling exuberantly, splashing and shrieking. This is awesome.

It should be noted that the other girl of this party now thinks we're both nuts. But, Reese drove over to the park, I ran to my car to throw my purse in, and then caught up with him over by the trees. Briefly caught his arm, and then darted ahead.

I can't explain why I love big storms so much. Reese is exactly the same - we have to run, we want to stand out in the rain, we want to get soaked to our skin. I kept getting blinded because it was pouring so hard that water would get in my eyes. We were soaked inside of a minute, and exhilarated in it. We ran down one side of the park over to the covered bridge, and just hugged, listening to the rain and laughing. We ran together, we ran on our own courses, we shrieked with joy because there are moments in this that you can't articulate the emotions running through you.

This is the park that has a low waterfall that I like to cross over to the concrete island. Walking and twirling through the water there, while I had rain over every inch of me, felt deliriously wonderful. Climbed up on the island, and just stood, head back, arms out, having the water rush by me on both sides, being hammered by the water from above, astounding lightshow going on. Hair streaming back, and it feels like all of my nerves have gained new powers. Every emotion is running right under the skin. Glance across the river, and Reese has climbed up on one of the stone benches, doing the same thing. I laughed out loud - of course I'm going to laugh out loud in this storm, but my mind drew a comparison to the two kings that stand guarding each side of the river in Two Towers.

The lightning was unceasing. Your eyes never adjusted, so you'd have a brief chance to see the wonder of these rolling clouds, or a still of the scene around you, and then you'd be plunged into blackness. Thunder was a constant conversation up there, and the wind was dancing as much as I wanted to. I laughed and made my way back across the water to Reese. Climbed up on the bench, took his hand, he grinned at me, and we both raised our arms to the sky, getting completely soaked, and loving it.

He surprised me when he spoke.
"This is how I know there is a God."
"Because there's anything as amazing as this in the world?"
"Yeah. There's no way that Nature could just make this happen."
I laughed, and then, searching the sky, "Y'know what?"
"Yeah?"
"I wonder...I bet he's laughing right along with us."
Reese laughed. "Yeah, I bet he is."

Reese laughs manically, I laugh joyously. Just standing together, watching the river, but most of all the sky. Incredible.

I refer to Reese sometimes as being like a cousin, because I'm not as close to him as I would be to a brother. Last night, sharing the storm drew that closeness.