Reasons @ MindSay

Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

 

...Very fucking depressed.

 

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Here is a numbered list of why Dixie is depressed today:

 

1. - I had to watch my daddy holding someone else's baby again. I hate it.
2. - I've been thinking about college and how terrible it will be.
3. - Watching Big Brother has made me realise my social phobia even more.
4. - I miss Emily so fucking much now. I'm crying at nighttimes when I can't sleep because I think about her.
5. - June is patchy as fuck, I really don't have anything to blog about anymore.
6. - I'm constantly bored now.
7. - I still can't write anything.

I searched for love but I found only pain

I taste the truth but I only caught the lies

 

Theres a tornado hitting today. My grandma thinks its neat. yeah thats my grandma for ya. Shes got 4 friends over to play cards and they all said, "Okay if the tornado hits we'll jump on you." lol.  Its gonna hit at 6pm tonight.  Right now its only been thunder and lightning. Kinda freaking out. cause its me. lol.  So, i kept a bunch of CDs here instead of bringing everything to college and i found my Zoegirl CD. and so i've been listening to this thing all day.  Wow. I dont know why i didnt bring this one with me.  I had a good talk with Jason last night on aim.  He said hes gonna come pick me up and take me to the mall to hang out. and I said "If you dont mind... i wear jesus shirts." and he said, "Okay while we are there we can get you a nonjesus shirt" and i said, "whats a nonjesus shirt?!?" haha.  I havnt seen him in 2 years.  He needs JESUS. well, hes not saved.  He's always asking me if i'm evangelizing to him when i tell him to watch a video or something online. lol. Oh you know  i am. thats just what i do. lol. The weather is so bad today. cant even leave the house. so, i'm hiding out. me and my music. phone calls from friends is much needed today but i doubt it. my stupid cell barely rings.  I dont know why i waste my time having it when i dont get phone calls. Oh well.

What are your thoughts on obsessions?
Are they good/bad?
When/why do they happen?
When do you know you have an obsession?

This is a very difficult subjecet to blog about!   I want to be very cautious as well as respectful when speaking about OBESITY!  This word is ugly, hurtful and very condesending.  I sometimes wondering if anyone who is not overweight, knows what it feels like to go threw what a obese person feels like.  The looks, stares, cooments, laughs, and the talks about "your so pretty, if you could just lose wieght". 

I have gone through the struggle and  am back at phase one again!  I just want to lose weight.  I wanna fit into a pair of jeans and say "hey I look really good in these!  I need a partner, I have asked and posted this a few times before but serious and desperate! 

If you are interested and be committed to the journey of healthy living please let me know!  It is a journey that never stops and you really have to be committed.  We can email each other, write each other-just simply find ways to be commited to each other.

PLEASE HELP!