Realtionships @ MindSay

I like to go on Yahoo Answers, gives me anonymity (sp?) to give my 2 cents without anyone taking my age into account. And lately I've been answering more relationship questions, even by married people, and it seems I know more then they do! People that are older than me, supposedly wiser. They can't see a red flag when it's there. They think they love someone they've known for a week. So many things taht seem blatantly obvious to me.

 

A long time ago I asked a question on there about brining your kids up into a certain religion. Naturally I got strong opinions on both sides, but a lot of them assumed I had children, and/or that I was an adult. I told them I was 16 years old, and they said "There's no way you're 16".

 

That's why I get kind of offended when people mistake me for being younger than I am based on my looks, because inside I have the wisdom of someone who is 40. (not that I want to look 40 either =P)

I havent been on the computer since Tuesday (which is really unusual considering before I used to use it each and everyday not mater what) so I have alot of blogs to catch up on, and I will be in a bit, but I figured I better blog first since alot has happened in the past few days...

 

So my doctors appointment is in 5 days...and im really nervous. Im really hoping that he'll listen to what I have to say and not just say that I need some pills, or worse: say that im faking it or its just teenage hormones or something. I know that this isnt just normal teenage mood swings, and i know its not caused because of how i look or what i choose to listen to or anything like that. This has been an ongoing thing, and in recent months its gotten even worse, so Im hoping there will be some kind of more "natural" way to help me with this, such as councilling or medatation or something on the lines of that. I really, really dont want to be put on antidepressents or things that I will get addicted to or will take over my life. People already take in enough unnatural subtances into their body through food, the air we breath, and products we use that soak into our skin like deoderant, and frankly I beilive I dont need anything else screwing with the way my body functions. I see everyday what drugs can do to you..sure, not specifically antidepressents, but drugs are drugs, and im pretty much against all of them. But thats a different story...

 

In other news, Friday I had to miss the first 2 periods of school (so basically half the day) to get my pasport all ready so that I can go to Florida for 2 weeks in February. Thing is though, lately Ive been having a harder time than usual getting up out of bed in the morning, so on Friday I slept in till after 10am and my Dad flipped out really bad on me until I finally got out of the house and into the truck to go to the place to get the passport all signed and stuff. But even as my dad, my mom and I were driving there, my dad was still sort of yelling at me, and my mom was trying to stand up for me. I was just sitting in the back, looking out the window trying to hide my tears from them (and I did so very successfully) until we got there, and basically for the rest of the day I barely spoke because of how shooken up I was because of that morning. It may seem like I'm sort of cry-baby like the way I talk about myself and why I cry, but seriously it really, really does take alot for me to cry, and ive been doing alot more of it lately, which isnt really good. If you have seen my dad and heard what he was saying and how intimidating he was being, then you would be able to understand, but its just something i cannot explain. I had to go to school for the last 2 periods of that day, but I was very very close to just skipping last period, because I really felt like crap. Not only did I feel like crap because of getting screamed at all morning, but on Thursday I was stupid and didnt eat breakfast and lunch and did the beep test in gym on basically an empty stomach, so I was really sore to(after the beep test on thursday i had really bad chest pains and I swear i could have passed out).  But I guess everythings back to normal now...

 

Oh yea, I should mention that on the 21st I broke up with Ryan.  Its really interesting though..last year when I dated jordan, I started dating him on a 23 (just like Ryan) and broke up with him on a 21 (just like Ryan). Of course, it wasnt of the same months, but it was still an odd coincidence. But this time when i broke up with Ryan, I was actually the one to break up with him (last time I got my friend Cole to break up with Jordan for me). And I didnt wimp out and do it over msn, so thats good I guess. Ryan and I barely spoke to eachother, even though we hung out with eachother every lunch period. He is a really, really nice and great guy, but I just never felt anything super amazing between us...

 

So now that I caught you guys up, im off to do things. Byebye.

 

-:|Kristal:(

 

 I laughed pretty good at this one- I saw myself as the wife right away...


Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.

Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, and that it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better.

Bob thought he'd give it a try. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears.

Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!"

Heyhey:)

Sorry i didnt blog yesterday but i was so exhasted from the badmonton tourney lol. Anyways speaking of that i lost both games:P lol o well though it was alot of fun and i tryed really had and most of my matches were REAL close;) What sucked about yesterday though was i had to wait an hour outside for my parents to pick me up from PACI  That made me soo mad cause i was done at like 1 and got outside to wait for them at 1:20 and i thought that i could make it to school intime to perform..but my parents came at like 2:30 and i was so pissed cause my dad sais hed be home by 1  but its not really there fault that my dads theropy (not phyciatrical, medical is what i mean;)) took so long. Ah..i guess i was just a little disapointed and frustrated...

 

After the badmonton tourney i went home, used the comp. for a bit they hung out with jessica:). we did a gift exchange..she got a small pack of gum and one of my old hai straightners from me and sahe gave me a box of chocolates, a walnut (dont ask), a cherry candy cane, and a magazin:). We were both happy and grateful for our gifts:). Lol we also hung out and went to macs and stuff to..lol her new nicname is chester and mines marian:P lol:P good times:P

 

Today was pretty good..had trouble getting up this morning..but o well lol. On the annoucements today they mentioned badmonton..lol for me they said "she may be small, but shes mighty..kristal st. jean was our girls singles player" lol:P btw westgate got in last place im the tourney because we omnly had 4 players while all the other highschools had at least like 8 (1 or 2 schools has a full team..16 players:|). westagte got 6 points in all while st. ignasious won with 95 points:| alot of there players got in like first and stuff..inm fact in my first game i played a girl from st. ignasious and she ended up in fist place for girls singles:| lol..i almsot won one of the matches against her lol. But all of us tigers tryed our best:) Anywyas, going bak on the subject of today,m i ended up getting sum homework in french and math, but thats ok..its easy stuff and i finished alot of french up in french class;) In dance today were making a 2 sided collage..Bodies: reality vs fantasy. Its actually fun to do lol:) and ive got a good portion of it done;) In gym we finished up fitness testing, and on everything i eneded up improving:D heres how it went:

 

Beep test:         last time:4        this time: 5

Curl ups:           last time: 53     this time: 88

Push ups:          last time: 18     this time: 30

Flexibiltity:        last time: 38     this time: 39

Standing long jump:" "     141   "      "     145

Shuttle run:             " "    13.2    "     "     12.0

 

:D

im pretty proud of myself on everything:) especially the beep test and shuttle run:) ive improved so much on running this year:D Btw 13.2 seconds for the shuttle run i think is fair, and 12. 0 seconds i think is above average:D lol..so yea:)

 

In other news i broke up with jordan...i have my reasons y. Funny thing is that he was my longest relationship, and it actually wooda been a month 2morrow..but o well i just couldnt stand being with sumone i didnt have feelings for...

 

Dont worry im fine though:) I dont know how he feels though:(...

 

well thats about it..

 

bye!

 

-:)Kristal:)

 

 

I have never been on the other side of a breakup. The thing that I believe really stricks me the most would be the simple thought that I am never going to be able to call her my own again. I mean the whole wasn't going to last because neither me nor her could see each other. Honestly though I think that this whole would have been so much eaiser is I just could stop thinking of her. Everywhere I turn it seems to bring some kind of thought that makes me sad. But for the most part I do believe that our realtionship was a big waist of time anyways. I mean I am ready to move on and be true to what I really am. I have sat in the shadows long enough...I guess the only thing to do now is, how do they say it....."Come out of the Closet?"