Really @ MindSay 
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What She Really Wants
Is giving up your seat a show of respect or an act of outdated chauvinism? A panel of actual women tell all!
Our lovely* panel:
Katherine, 29, psychologist, Palo Alto, California
Alyssa, 29, lawyer, Brooklyn
Laura, 33, fashion-magazine editor, New York
Patricia, 53, teacher, Cranston, Rhode Island
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ESQ: The scenario: We are walking into a building in front of you. Do we hold the door open?
Katherine: That depends. If you are a step or two ahead of me, I'd expect you to hold the door. If it's more than that, don't bother. If you're far ahead of me, it's like you're waiting and I feel like I have to hurry up.
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We are seated on a packed train and you're standing next to us. Do we give up our seat?
Alyssa: I actually think the idea that men should get up for young, healthy women is ridiculous. I'm perfectly capable of standing. I'm not a delicate flower who needs to sit.
Laura: It would kind of freak me out a little bit, like I'm old and infirm and not a sassy young thing anymore.
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We think you may be pregnant -- it's hard to tell with those loose dresses. What do we do?
Patricia: In that case, just offer the seat -- without asking when we're due. You don't have to say why you are getting up. Nothing looks worse than a man who makes a pregnant woman stand.
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A woman is lugging a large suitcase through the airport. Do we offer to help?
Katherine: I think a good rule of thumb is, if it looks like we're struggling, offer to help -- we'll really appreciate it.
Alyssa: As much as I want to be pro-feminist and able-bodied, if I'm carrying something heavy, help a girl out.
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Okay, so we lug the case up a staircase for you. We would love to keep helping, but now we've got our own flight to catch.
Patricia: Helping me up the stairs is plenty. Just exit by asking, "Are you okay with this now?"
Laura: I'd like you to help me take it through security, take my laptop out of the case, put it back in again, take my shoes off, and smuggle in my water. That is modern chivalry. I'd marry that man.
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We pass a woman walking down the street, crying. Do we do anything?
Laura: You already feel bad enough if you're crying in the street. It's better if nobody else acknowledges it.
Katherine: If we happen to be standing next to, say, a broken-down car, ask if we need help or if we need to use your phone.
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It's late at night and we see you stumbling alone out of a bar, extremely drunk.
Katherine: Call us a cab, or ask if we have any friends who are still inside the bar. Any more and you could seem a little creepy.
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We are in a parking lot and see you fighting loudly with a man, probably your boyfriend. Do we intervene?
Patricia: Not unless it gets out of hand. If there's just an argument, respect people's privacy.
Laura: If I were fighting with my boyfriend, I'd be already pissed off. There's chivalry and then there's delusions of being a knight in shining armor. Get lost.
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We don't do anything, but then it starts to get physical -- we see him grab you by the arm.
Katherine: If you know you don't stand a chance if you try to pull the guy off, then call the police. And let them know you're watching. Sometimes just the social pressure of knowing that somebody's looking at you or knowing that somebody's calling the police can help.
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We are at a bar when we see you being aggressively hit on by David Spade. What now?
Laura: We are more than capable of dispensing with an undesirable man.
Katherine: I would appreciate it if you came over and struck up a conversation with me and gave me an excuse to end the conversation with the other guy, but I'd probably assume you're hitting on me, too.
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*And by "lovely" we mean no patronizing offense.
Hello everyone!
Its been just about a year since I've posted a blog here on MindSay and there's a reason. On Jan 17th of this year I wrote a blog on the Black Holocaust, A lost Dream from the Book Black Wallstreet. An in a year there have been only three (3) responses. Now you would think the word holocaust would draw some attention wouldn't you ? I mean after all when we speak of the Holocaust in Germany we think of some six to nine million jews being killed by the Germans. However when we see the word Holocaust here in todays society it either doesn't register, people don't care or its not important anymore. I felt it was important to let folks know of the slaughter of a number of Blacks in Tulsa Oakalhoma on May 31st, 1921 where the KKK just butchered Black folks out of jealousy and envy. According to the book somewhere between nine hundred and three thousand men were murdred in the streets and put in camps by white folks and no one did anything about it. I think this should be noised abroad and made known to all people. That was the reason for writing the article and attaching the information from the book there, to enlighten everyone. I see I was greatly mistaken, no one cares that this happened to blacks if they did the blog would have been running over with an out cry that this ever hapened and no one ever mentioned it, talked about it or bothered to ever teach it to our children. Its a part of Negro Histroy isn't it ? I just feel bad because people don't care, and you thought the Native American had it bad. I wonder what happened to us as a people during slavery ? We only counted as 3/5ths of a person then, what do we count as now ? I wonder ? Does segregation still exist, do folks really care what happens to us as a people ? Are we important, have we made strides in life since the Greenwood Section of Tulsa Oaklahoma on that faitfull night in 1921 ? I wonder ?
I have had a few conversations with a a guy about music. I call it music trivia. When I don't know a song I will say ,"it's before my time", or "I don't listen to country. I realized today I lied!
I have been putting myself through emotiona; tourture lately with all the songs that I used to listen to that held a place in my hear tfor one reason or another and they are country. I can't believe I deceived myself.
For those of you who are looking for the perfect playlist for a breakup, bad day, or reminisence of a relatiohsip gone bad and the nights you sat alone wishing it would change, add these to your list.
Diamond/Chely Wright-I'm trying
Dan Seals-Addicted
Shedaisy-Without a sound
Earl Thomas Conley-what I'd say
Doug Stone-i neer knew love
Keith Whitley -When you say nothing at all
Allison Krauss-Ghost in this house
Alison Krauss Shanendoah-Somwhere in the vicinity if the heart
Bryan White- I'm not supposed to love you anymore
Diamond Rio-Your gone
Travis Tritt- Drift off to dream
Rascal Flats -I'm moving on
Vince Gill- I've been trying to get over you
Vince Gill Sheryl Crow-What you give away
Ben Harper- Mourn
Lifehouse-blind
Mindy Mccready- Maybe he'll notice her now
Leanne Womack-I'm the fool
Ben folds five-Brick
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