So like, my mom and I are cool again. And it's sweet, we talked, and we've agreed to make our relationship better by ya know... Doing stuff together. And that's pretty sweet. Fuck man, another really, really, REALLY sweet thing is that I might be getting off probation THIS month instead of July. I fuckin hate probation, the only reason I have a curfew for the weekends is because of my old P.O. God damn ten o clock.

I love Jake, more than anything. He's a sweetheart. Unfortunately, he's going to Georgia with his Pap for a couple of weeks in February, such as... On our six month (HALF A FUCKING YEAR) anniversary, and than three days later is fucking Valentines Day. I have been alone every Valentines Day of my LIFE and when I finally have a boyfriend, I'm still alone... Retarded, if you ask me. But his Pap ain't too much longer for this world so I can totally understand it. But anyways, I love him sooo much, he's such a blessing.

Peace,

<3 Jess

Today is Joel and me's 2 month anniversery!! Yay!!! I got this rly sweet note from him and it about made me cry!! Have you ever had anyonesay rly sweet things to you and you just feel like falling to the floor and bawking your eyes out!!?? Well that's how I felt!! It was sooooooo sweet!! He also gave me one of his school pics!! Soooo Handsome he is!!! He He HE!!!! Ha.....sry.....oh and his ears turn rky red at times......don't ask me why......how would I know.....*guilty laugh*.......

My arm hurts rly bad!! I'm a band geek ok and I was playing my bass clarinet and I didn't have a neck strap on sooo I was supporting the weight of this thing w/ my right arm and thumb! My thumb is currently swollen and hurts!! Oh and I have a headach!! And NO I'm not whinning.....

VBALL IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG can you tell I'm excited?! No more practice...games....It's all over!!!! The only thing left iis sectionals saturday!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

TTFN

I'm yours forever and always!!! Love you!!

"Skin"

[Hidden Track]

Sarabeth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well
Since the day that she fell
And the bruise, just won't go away
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
Flips through an old magazine
Till a the nurse with a smile
Stands at the door
And says will you please come with me

Sarabeth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white
Something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten it won't come back again
With the therapy were gonna try
It's just been approved
It's the strongest there is
I think we caught it in time

Sarabeth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Sarabeth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake
For someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom

For, just this morning right there on her pillow
Was the cruelest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny

Sarabeth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love was holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Its quarter to seven
That boys at the door
And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap
They all start to cry
Cause this mornin where his hair had been
Softly she touches just skin

And they go dancin
Around and around without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared

And no theres nothing wrong w/ me....this song touches me.....

    ;) Social Butterfly ;)

Seventeen
Livin' on crazy dreams
Rock and roll and faded blue jeans
And standin' on the edge of everything
Seventeen

Alright soo the interview went well! It was really cool and I enjoyed every minute of it :) Thenn I went up to Stefans and danced and listened to country music. hahaaaa fun times fun times ;) Now i'm here watching Family guy. I'll probably go for a bike ride in an hour. But I'm really sore from workout so we'll seeee :)

Oh yeah and I'd like to say

:) ||I Love Stefan|| :)

Shiftin' those gears baby, one, two, three
Then he shifts those ocean eyes back to me
Can't imagine a moment any better than this
Then we kiss
Ooo Life's so sweet right here in the
passenger seat
Ooo yeah, life's so

sweet

Ok i'm done :)

• I really pretty much just want to go home to Carlsbad very badly.
• I left C-bad the 2nd week of June, and I shall return the 2nd week of August. That's 2 full months of not being home. Gah that sucks.
• I miss Alyssa alot.  And Ryan, too.
• I want to be close to Derek and be able to be with him before he leaves for college. Which is so soon. 2 weeks.
• Yesterday was pretty fun at Aunt Brooks' house.
• Me and Sam and Graham swam in their pool.
• We ate fajitas.
• Then the power went out for no particular reason.
• Their house is the nicest, hugest house ever.
• I almost envy them, but I am thankful for what I have.
• Sam came back with us, so that's cool.  He's a pretty dang cool little cousin.
• We stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home and I got a phone card to call Derek with once we leave here and go to visit Austin College and Henderson.
• Actually, I'm supposed to be using it right now, but it's only 250 minutes and I don't want to use it up, so I'm only pretending to use it.
• I also got The All American Reject's new album, Move Along.
• I like it, their sound has matured, but their songs are still catchy.
• I also realized Derek brought me back my iPOD shuffle, which I hadn't seen for as long as I'd been away from Derek since I left it at his house the last time I was there.
• So I'm happy to it back.
• I need to name mine like Victoria did. That's pretty cool. Her's is Stuart.  I was thinking Oswald or Gretchen, depending upon the sex I decide to give it.
• I helped Graham type his essay the other day, and I am a much better writer then he is. 
• That makes me feel confident about writing college essays when the time comes.
• I really just cannot believe Derek is leaving for college and I'm only going to be a fucking Jr. It sucks.
• We went to Rather Sweet for lunch today.
• Tomorrow is my last day here.
• That's all.

<3 Courtney