Rascal Flatts @ MindSay

Hey. Am out of school finally. YAY!

Mr. Pohlman acused me of having to take the final exam though.

He's dumb.

AT  worst, I only have a C in his clas,s as well as I have showed him my attendance(the official office print out) in which i have only missed 2 days.

If I fail this semester because of his poor record keeping I am going to be PISSED!

LIFE IS A HIGHWAY (WITH A LOT OF POTHOLES!)

* listening to Rascal Flatts version.

Dad tried to make me never talk to my Bradley never ever again on Monday.

We fixed that.

I told him that Brad is about the only stable thing I have right now and that he just needs to Back off!

He keeps saying that he doesn't want me to make a big mistake( < adult translation> meaning he doesn't want me to end up knocked up with Brads kid and no Brad in the Picture... )

I told him that I have had all the opportunities in the world to screw Brad, but I dont want to!

If I just wanted to do it all the time, I could choose any guy.

I like being with Brad becasue he makes me feel good, and I do the same for him. Also I have helped him with the parents thing, and he has helped me so much with my parents problems.  I need him right now.

Then he tried to use the "but hes going away to college" card. I told him that when that comes around I would deal with it then. Right now, Im just trying to get by day by day.

Then he went and started cring hysterically.

And I feel so bad for hm because he can't keep himself composed. And I don't blame him becasue after 20+  years of marriage, my mom just decides shes done and is going to leave.

Hmm...

Well anyway.

Goin to see my parents crisis counselor on wednesday. I need to really. I dont want to end  up like mom...

I think its just a bunch of little things that have built up over all these years and now it just all blew up. 

Ugh...

My life is a mess.

Ciao,

Mariah

P.S. KFC sux.

P.S.S. Mom is looking at a house on south seventh. 3 bed room ranch house.

My blog has been silent for a while, and as I’ll explain in just a minute, for good reason.  As most of you know, I’ve spent the past five months in Hawaii.  For risk of sounding ignorant, I’ll pull out the cliché from Charles Dickens (I think!), who I believe once wrote, “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

The best of times – Hawaii, for the most part, is what I expected.  It’s paradise.  I have lived 5 minutes from one of the world’s most famous beaches, learned how to surf (sort of), and enjoyed perfect weather on 98% of the days.  I also, for the most part, enjoyed my work – serving out a contract for ChipIn, in a Product Manager role.

The worst of times – Hawaii also happens to be 6,000 miles from my true home – the Northeast corridor between New York (where my parents live and my sister still crashes from time to time =) and Virginia.  Over the past month, where I spent time back home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, I realized that as wonderful as Hawaii can be, nothing is as important in my life as my family, my best friends, and the place I truly feel is home. 

Additionally, I did a lot of thinking about the direction I want to take my life.  As I’ve shared with a few people already, over the weekend I read a book that Michael Jordan wrote, shortly after his father died, and after having a miserable season trying to become a professional baseball player with the Chicago WhiteSox AA team.  My dad bought me the book when I was 12, and to be honest, I probably hadn’t actually opened it in about ten years.  The book was entitled “I Can’t Accept Not Trying,” and in it, Jordan wrote that often times people don’t take the big shot because they fear the consequences – a negative result, embarrassment, failure.  To him, that is unacceptable.  That rang true for me, as I realized that up until now I’ve lived my life largely avoiding taking chances, and as such, have not moved much closer to my goals from where I started.  Without going into great detail (a few of you know the juicy specifics ), with the support of my family and friends, today I made the difficult decision to end my contract with ChipIn, leave Hawaii, and return to my home, where I will focus on …

Setting in motion the many things that need to happen for me to achieve my goals – which consist of becoming a successful entrepreneur, making a meaningful contribution to society, and eventually, starting a family of my own (scary!).  In his book, Jordan also wrote the only way that he approached everything in life is step by step.  His goal was always to be the best basketball player, but when he got cut from his varsity basketball team in his sophomore season of high school, his only objective became to make the varsity the following season.  That’s how I now aim to approach my life – tackling one realistic goal at a time, step by step, rather than always swinging for the fences without paying attention to the detail and commitment necessary to get there.  

On a lighter note, I’m now all yours 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, MindSay.  A couple months back, we made some rapid fire changes to the web site (new top blogs, photo and video, find people, etc.) and have kind of been letting all of that simmer for a while (well, we’ve also been real busy – while I was pondering my life, Brian was busy moving his to California).  I look forward to once again becoming the active and attentive leader of the community that I was when we got started more than 3 years ago, while also spending time pursuing a few other projects that have sat on the back burner for far too long. 

With that, thank you to my family, my friends, and this community, who all bring joy to my life in different ways, and make it that much easier to move onward and upward.

How come everytime u come around my london  london bridge wanna go down --Fergie

Life Is A Highway i wanna ride it all night long--Rascal Flatts

Its GOING doWn--Young Joc

I'm definitely bawling due to that Rascal Flatts song... Oh man...

What hurts the most,

was bein so close

and havin so much to say...

And watchin you walk away.

And never knowin what could have been.

And not seein that lovin you

was what I was tryin to do.