Rant @ MindSay

*Photoshop job seems to be mine. We talked for about half an hour Thursday, and he wanted to keep me longer, but we had calls on hold, so I had to work. I'm going in early to talk to him again tomorrow.

*Much house cleaning going on, in preparation for The Alpha and Kisa being in the area this week.

*Knitting is going well, despite the fact that I think I'm allergic to wool. Luckily, the yarn I'm using is only 20% wool. I also found both colors I'm using on sale on line, so more is on it's way to me.

*I also found a Halloween Scary Movie sale on DVD's, so we're expecting Clue, Mortuary, Rose Red and Monster House. All movies I love.



Now for the Rant.

I simply do not understand humans. How is it that a woman can give birth to a child, raise him for a year and then suddenly decide that she wants to "start her life for real" and she wants her sister to raise the baby so that she's not saddled with him?

If she had decided at his birth, or before he was born, that she didn't want to, or couldn't raise him, then that's one thing. I'm all for giving a child up if you can't give him a good life. There are people out there who would jump at the chance to adopt a chubby little baby boy.

Instead, you keep him, not knowing anything about children (literally. This woman called for help because she wasn't sure the baby's penis looked right) and raise him for a year. Couch surfing because the idiot that you're with...who probably isn't the baby daddy...can't or won't keep a job. Then moving in with his mother. Then deciding that you would rather move back home to live with *your* mother and your child molester step-father.

Yes, child-molester. Don't even get me started on that side of the family. There's only one of them that doesn't piss me off.

Then the other day, this woman emails her sister, who lives about six hours away, and asks if the sister and her partner will raise her baby so she can get on with her life. And then guilt the sister into taking your son by threatening to give him to your mother and the child molester if sister's too busy to take him.

GRRR. I didn't like this woman to begin with, but now I really don't like her. Is it possible that she has NO mothering instincts in her? I know that some people don't. I have the opposite problem. I may be too motherhood centered. I cannot imagine willingly giving my child to someone else to raise. Particularly after I raised him for the first year of his life. If it were something major, if I were dying or if I had to go off to war or something, then, ok, that's what godparents are for. But to give up your child because of  a job that you may get? To be willing to leave him with a CHILD MOLESTER so that you can "start your life for real"!!

The whole thing just raises the hackles of the mommy wolf inside me.

It's not good to piss off my inner mommy wolf.

I have a beef.

 

It's about eHarmony, and I will freely admit I've been taken in by their promise of 'perfect matching'. But like anything else, people will find the holes in the logic and exploit it to their gain.

 

The biggest thing that bothers me about the dating site, after being on there for about a year and a half total, over 3 times, is the closing out process. Specifically, the use of the reason 'Other'. This has got to be the biggest online cop-out since not calling the person back after a date was instituted back when landline phones were all the rage.

 

It's annoying! What does 'other' mean? I could hazard some very good guesses, but unfortunately, the women who have closed me out can't tell me. I spoke to one date (who never called back after our first date, thank-you-for-sticking-me-with-the-60-buck-sushi-bill Allison) who said that she used 'Other' often because the real reason wasn't on there. I asked her, what was the real reason in most cases? And she had no response, because it would make her seem shallow. In retrospect, she probably was. At least, if I'm going to close out a match early on because I don't think we'll fit, based on what they've said in their profile, or I'm not physically attracted to them, or they live in freakin' Indiana or so close to the Wisconsin border that they're a Packers fan instead of a Bears fan, I'll say, 'Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested', or 'Distance too great' or 'I'm pursuing someone else', which at least leaves the woman with some dignity and something that they can accept. Ok, I missed this boat, another one will come along!

 

But 'Other' is a non-answer. What does it mean?? I refuse to use it, because it's leaving me with questions. I can only imagine it leaves everyone else with questions too.

 

Lately it's like that's the only answer among the 13 or so choices, and it's at the bottom of the list. So I imagine a woman scrolling fast to the bottom, hitting 'other' and moving on. Very little thought wasted.

 

I just had my umpteenth close-out with the reason of 'Other'. At least we made it past the first questions. She initiated contact too. One of the many reasons why I am sick of online dating. It doesn't work for 90% of the people who try it. Oh sure, there are success stories, and there will be. These people, both of them, were honest with each other and honest to themselves, and it worked. I'm being honest with myself (I think) and well, seems that there's still a lot of women out there that either aren't, or they really aren't a good match.

 

This isn't a rant on women in general, just the ones on these dating sites. I'm sure women have a similar rant about guys. Believe it or not, both men and women are saying the same thing, but noones listening.

 

What frustrates me even more is the 'oh so close!' feelings I get with a few of these women. There was one, we clicked, we emailed a decent amount, still on eHarmony, and then she said that she wanted to take it offline and call, to which I wholeheartedly agreed to, but then she disappeared. After about 2 months of communication, she *poof* vanished! She is a die-hard Cubs fan, and she disappeared about the time of spring training. Coincidence? Probably not. I think we would have worked very well together.

 

Another woman I fell for almost immediately, and she was a teacher. I have a weakness for teachers (and brunettes) and we hit it off too, but then school started, and she suddenly had no time for a relationship and closed me out. Now, I would wait until there was some free time to see her, knowing full well how a teacher's schedule is one of the most demanding on the planet. But to drop something that was working? Frustrating!

 

And now, there's one where we went through this whirlwind weekend (I think it was a free communication weekend) up to the email stage (Open Communication) and I sent the first letter, and zrrrrk brick wall. Haven't heard from her.

 

And she was really cute!

And she initiated contact with me! (a rarity in my book)

And she was eloquent!

And she was considerate!

And she seemed like she had a very caring heart!

And she was a brunette!

And.... I never heard from her. No way to communicate with her.

 

Anyone have a success story? Or failure stories to add?

There are times when I need to talk, to get something off my chest, complain or just state my opinion. I have a lot of personal friends here on mindsay and I would rather they not know about some of the things I am going through.  I have another mindsay blog but I created this one for the purpose of talking things through and to remain annonymous. If anyone wants to comment on what I have to say or offer advice it will be much appreciated. 

what you say, Morgan, I'ma rant!

 

..........Get ready for some hardcore pissed-off Katie!

What the fucking hell? I'm not into religion but..yeah..

Jesus/God, whoever, they accept everyone! If you're Gay, Straight, Bisexual, even a damn Platypus, he still accepts you. The Bible was written by a whole nuch of old men, and if it says anywhere in there that Gays are not accepted, that's just plain bullshit. God forgives all his children if you repent.. or something spelled like that.

 

But still, no one on this planet has a right to judge people just because of their sexual orientation. I may not give a rats ass about Religion but I know about the damn "laws" or whatever they are...

I do pray sometimes, for some really selfish things, I miss my old life, and I pray for it back, but hell... I would rather have everyone think of everyone as the same than have it back..

And if people can't accept that..they've proved themselves to being completely huge assholes!

Yes, I'm sorry Morgan for disobeying you. You'll get over it. Because I lush you, you're like a sister I never had. And just because some of these asshole don't accept you, doesn't mean I don't.

This is unacceptable bullshit... I don't want any comment on this telling me about God and his Religion and "how I have sinned from this." Because I'll just delete them and you'll time will serve no purpose on my page..